


Gray Matters

by morsetvirginem



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angry Kylo Ren, Angst, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Mostly Canon Compliant, Ninja edits
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2019-10-13 00:56:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 46,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17478227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morsetvirginem/pseuds/morsetvirginem
Summary: Post TLJ, Rey and Kylo Ren struggle to come to terms with themselves, and where to go from here. It's only when they reunite, that they realize together they will reforge balance in the universe-if they can stop fighting first!





	1. Leave Takings

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This is my first fanfic/smut. I hope it's to your liking! I have tried to make this as canon compliant as possible, but I've definitely taken and plan to take more liberties with the Knights Of Ren (Giving them force powers, names, etc.) as from what I understand in the SWU they aren't known to have force powers. I'm only two chapters in, and have ever changing ideas on where I want this story to go, so strap in, it's going to be a bumpy ride! Also I don't know why it says completed but this story is definitely not. Stay posted, I'll try to post a new chapter each week, I just had two ready to go from the start so enjoy :D

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter follows our two favorite characters post Battle of Crait. Prepare for moping and annoyance, and an appearance by the Knights of Ren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be sure to read the notes at the end of the chapter!

“He called you a NOBODY?!” General Leia Organa exclaimed in tones of anger. “No, I mean, he did, but let me finish, and please, keep it down!” Rey hushed the fuming leader of the Resistance and continued her story in a quiet corner of the Falcon. Machinery hummed as they zipped through space. Rey was exhausted. It had been less than 24 hours since the battle of Crait. She closed her eyes as she finished recounting everything to Leia. “My son…killed Snoke? Then why-and oh! He may not have spent his whole life with me but I definitely raised him to have better manners than that. What a strange way to compliment a girl!” Rey snapped her eyes open and wanted to laugh at the sound of the general’s annoyance. She smiled inwardly but sighed, her mind still heavy. Rey laid a hand on Leia’s shoulder. “General Organa…” “Leia, Rey, I’ve told you this before.” “Leia…” Rey paused. “In the end, even though he killed Snoke, he still tried to destroy us all back on Crait. He..he was determined to kill Luke, even though Luke obviously had the upper hand. I fear that no matter what glimpses I see of Ben, I cannot pull him into the light. Because I said no..I am afraid I have damned us all to a life of endless pursuit.” 

She shivered, thinking of the way Kylo Ren had been so angry when she reached for the saber instead of his hand. It hurt her to turn down his offer, but she had no desire to subjugate others, or to rule. When she’d come to in the throne room, she saw Kylo Ren laying unconscious across from her. A fire had broken out near him. Without thinking she dragged him away from it to a safer spot. She knew she didn’t have much time before first order soldiers would come swarming in. She stared down at his face, which in unconsciousness seemed so restful in comparison to the man she knew when he was awake. A lock of his dark hair had fallen across his eyes. She gave in to the urge to brush it away, marveling in the softness of it. She had never imagined anything soft when thinking of Kylo Ren. “I’m so sorry.” she whispered to him. “I only wanted you..just you.” She forced herself to rise, with regret. 

The scene faded from her mind as Leia cleared her throat, bringing Rey back to the ship and their present situation. She had decided to omit those last few seconds from her story. Leia might sense there was more to it but this secret was hers. She had been terrified at first, at the thought of having to debrief Leia on everything that had happened since leaving for Ahch-To but terrified most of all, of telling her about the Force Bond Snoke had imposed on Kylo Ren and herself. But Leia had accepted all of her story with compassion and kindness. Even now her eyes shone with a gentle light that made Rey swallow hard. She was not used to being gazed upon with such softness by anyone. Life on Jakku was not soft, or kind, or gentle. Neither were the people, for the most part.“So what do we do now?”, Rey asked.  
Leia sat silently next to Rey, thinking upon the question. “Rey, the saber is broken, isn’t it?” Rey exhaled loudly. “Yes. And I don’t know if it can be fixed. I have nothing to face him with the next time we meet. I’m not ready, I never was. Now that Luke is gone, I have no one to show me the way.” Tears began to sting her eyes. Leia threw a comforting arm around Rey’s shoulder, drawing her into a calming embrace. “Rey, you have everything you need to guide you within. But I want you to go back to Ahch-To. I feel that you will find what you need there.” 

Rey drew back from Leia, searching her face. “Wait, what about you? The Resistance? How can I be of help when I’m apart from all of you?” “Rey, this is not where you need to be. The force will show you your path . Trust in it. As I do.” Leia gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “In a few hours we will be arriving at a secret base on a neutral planet where we may be able to organize and rest for a bit. Now that Snoke is dead I suspect the First Order will be prioritizing other things over chasing down what’s left of us. For now at least. You can refuel and resupply with what you need there before going back to Ahch-To. I want you to stay, Rey..but I have another reason for sending you back to Ahch-To. I fear that Kylo Ren may use your connection against you, to find information on our whereabouts. The connection only seems to be getting stronger from what you’ve told me. I hope you can trust that I do believe this is for the best.” Rey smiled. “ Don’t worry Leia. It sounds strange but I’d already thought about going back to Ahch-To. There is a place that holds the knowledge that might help me repair the saber. I hope so at least.” she muttered, thinking of the tree that held the sacred Jedi texts. “Will you explain to everyone..especially Finn…he won’t understand me disappearing out of the blue again.” “I will.” Leia squeezed Rey’s hands before rising to head back to rejoin the others. “May the force be with you Rey.” she intoned before walking off. 

They landed on a small forested moon, and the ship emptied quickly. Rey hung back on the Falcon, making her excuses to everyone about wanting to oversee the refueling and maintenance. Rey watched as her friends and associates walked into the hangar. Poe, Finn, who walked anxiously beside the stretcher carrying Rose. Chewie stood tall over Leia, who turned back to give Rey a wave. “Trust the force.” she heard in her mind. Rey smiled. A droid who’d just finished delivering the last of her requested supplies chirped at BB-8 before rolling back towards the hangar. Rey closed the door to the Millenium Falcon, recalling the last time the force had connected her to Kylo Ren, in a moment so similar to this. She couldn’t read his eyes. They'd just stared at one another for a long a moment before she let the door close between them, as the force severed their connection once more. “Let’s go BB-8.” She made her way to the cockpit and set a course for Ahch-To. Even with a hyper space jump it would still be a long trip. She put the controls on auto pilot, and closed her eyes to rest, for what seemed like the first time in ages. She dreamed of soft black hair, and a pair of haunted eyes.

 

Kylo Ren sat in his quarters at a desk. The day was finished, endless meetings with staff and Hux, the rabid dog that he was, breathing down his neck. He would need to do something..permanent about that man soon. Kylo assumed that having to share the duty of restoring the First Order and finding replacements for the Praetorian Guards, soldiers, and personnel lost on Snoke’s cruiser would have kept the angry ginger haired man occupied, but no. Hux had been his shadow since the moment he woke up in the throne room after killing Snoke. He knew Hux had his suspicions about what really happened to Snoke, but didn’t dare voice them. Given how volatile Kylo’s emotions had become during and after the battle of Crait, Hux wisely kept his jabs to a minimum. He sighed. He really hadn’t had many moments alone except to sleep. He needed a break. Even in his dreams he was haunted by the scene that played out with him and Rey in the throne room. He even dreamed of her carrying him to safety. Telling him she was sorry, touching him gently, in a way he hadn’t remembered since childhood. “I only wanted you…just you.” He’d shuddered in his sleep at the unexpected words. But it was just a dream. Rey would never touch him like that. She could never feel like that. Especially not after he’d lost control on Crait. Not that he’d admit it aloud, but he was glad that he hadn't actually killed Luke, because after his blood had stopped boiling he found himself wondering what Rey would have thought if he had cut his uncle down. Though the scheming Jedi deserved it, he raged silently, clenching his gloved fists. Just as he knew the threat to destroy her, was empty as well. The image of her escaping once again on the Falcon burned in his heart. It had galled him more than anything that she wouldn’t join him. He did not say please. He did not beg. But she made him weak in ways he hadn’t thought possible. He had killed his Master for her…and blamed it on her. 

Kylo groaned. These thoughts would get him nowhere. He punched the com button to the main flight deck. “Yes Supreme Leader?” a voice chimed. “Ready my personal cruiser. I’m going on a private reconnaissance mission.” he said. This was impulsive and unplanned, but he would not stay on this kriffing ship another kriffing minute. “Yes…yes of course Supreme Leader. Any message for General Hux?” Kylo sighed, “Yes. Tell him he is in charge while I’m gone, and to carry on overseeing appointments. He may send me communiques about the matter to my personal cruiser till I return. That is all.” “Affirmative, Supreme Leader.” The com link winked out. But where would he go? He took a moment to meditate. He wanted to be somewhere close to Rey..or at least, somewhere she had been. He didn’t dare try to open the Force Bond, he knew she would not appreciate him spying on her. Kriff, what would he even say? 

He palmed his forehead thinking on how he’d spoken to her in the throne room. His mother had raised him with more manners, and an education befitting his title as a prince, but he’d been so far removed from that world for years that he was not used to making anything but demands, certainly not words of love. There’d been no one to woo. Nothing about his formative years after leaving the Jedi Temple with his chosen, now the Knights Of Ren, would be considered normal by a long shot. Snoke would tolerate no connection that was not of his own scheming, he mused bitterly. Certainly not a romantic one. So no, there were no sweet words that came easily to Kylo Ren, when he looked upon Rey. Just a selfish desire to have her stay by his side. To keep her hand in his. He stared at his hand suddenly, and recalled the moment they connected on Ahch-To, that left a spray of salt water on his glove. He hadn’t known it was Ahch-To then, but she’d divulged her whereabouts in the elevator, just before their ill fated throne room battle. Ahch-To, he mused. A planet with little habitation, but great beauty. It had been a long time since he’d been anywhere but space, when he wasn’t out fighting for the First Order. One didn’t have time for niceties like taking in the view when overthrowing rebel scum. “Ahch-To it is then.” he said aloud to himself. 

He strode from his room through the bowels of the ship to the hangar, to board his personal cruiser. Silently a figure in all black fell in beside him. “Master Ren.” the Knight addressed him with a salute. “Yes, Master Odain?” Kylo replied, ignoring his failure to address him as Supreme Leader. The extra formality was not necessary for them to give in his eyes, his knights were unquestionably loyal to him. “With respect Master Ren, I have come to ask that you allow us to follow you on your journey. My fellow knights and I sense that Hux is plotting something. We wish to remain close to you.” Kylo Ren smirked. Hux. That dumb, vicious man. He had nerve, Kylo gave him that. “I look forward to seeing what Hux has in store then, Master Odain. As you and the rest of my knights know, I’ve longed to crush the life out of that insect. This will give me the legitimate and lawful reason to remove him from this life for good. I have suspected as much myself, but I appreciate your concern.” He sighed. “I had every intention of taking this trip alone. Leave three of our Knights onboard to monitor Hux. But you and the others may follow me in your own cruiser. I doubt I will encounter any danger where I’m going, but I sense conflict coming.” Master Odain saluted once more. “Yes Master Ren. But where are you headed to?” Had Odain been anyone but a Knight of Ren, Kylo would have force choked the fool out of impatience at their presumption to know his whereabouts. “Ahch-To, Master Odain. Ahch-To.” “And if you should encounter the scavenger?” 

Kylo Ren stopped. They’d reached the hangar. Personnel and soldiers alike all snapped a crisp salute to the Supreme Leader, but kept a wide berth. Kylo Ren looked at Master Odain. “That will not happen. My intelligence reports tell me she should be with the Resistance. I will ascertain her whereabouts soon enough. But..she is not to be harmed. She must be brought to me alive. Anyone who disobeys this command will pay with their life.” He realized he was clenching his fists. “Stay off world when I land, Master Odain, until I summon you. Dismissed.” “Yes Master Ren.” This time, Odain fell to one knee and saluted him, a show of obeisance and solidarity to cement his transition as Supreme Leader before everyone in the hangar. An unnecessary one again, in Kylo Ren’s eyes. He’d never been comfortable with groveling. Kylo Ren boarded his cruiser, exhaling as soon as he sat in the pilot’s seat. He took off his helmet, and set a course for Ahch-To. He chewed his lip, knowing that while he’d not had time to call a meeting with his knights, he’d soon have to give them the truth of what had happened, that it had been he that killed Snoke, not Rey. He had no doubt that they would continue to maintain their loyalty. It had never been to anyone but him. But more so, he knew he did not want more targets aimed at Rey’s back because of his deceit. Hux had been absolutely insistent that her face and name be known through the worlds in the First Order’s grip, to hasten her apprehension. He rubbed his temples. Troubles, and more troubles. That’s all she’d been and brought since he scooped her up on Takadona. Maybe he could sleep on the way to Ahch-To, finally, without dreaming of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, if you're re-reading the chapters and see minor changes here and there, you're not going crazy, I'm just making corrections (tenses, etc.) that I didn't catch in my excitement to submit my first story. I also would like to take this time to apologize for my excessive use of "..." because I just can't help myself XD
> 
> A couple of things I'd like to add for notation:
> 
> The Knights Of Ren: I haven't fully fleshed out where I want to take their arc just yet, for example, how will they react when Kylo Ren tells them that he's caught feelings for Rey?! 
> 
> Hux: I think 90% of my reason for writing this is killing off Hux in a satisfactory way, as we all wait for Episode 9. I swear if he doesn't get killed off, I will go full Kylo Ren. 
> 
> Ben: Our boy is definitely NOT enjoying the weight of his new title. Power and growth in the force was the motivation more than authority for him-and while he had asked Rey to rule with him in TLJ, I don't think being stuck onboard another imperial cruiser with his least favorite person ever (General Hugs!) was what he had in mind.
> 
> Rey: I am still struggling to flesh out her character, I'm biased but it's easier for me to substantiate and flesh out Ben/Kylo because I am o b s e s s e d with our angsty boi. That being said, as I continue to write further chapters it's become easier for me to give her more depth. I am sooo rusty ya'll. I haven't written a story this lengthy since high school, and that was many moons ago!
> 
> Leia: Awww mom! Leia knows there's more to Rey's story, but isn't about to press her. She still hopes that her son can be brought to the light-in this story at least-so she may not realize it, but she's definitely treating Rey like a daughter, or *gulp* a prospective one.  
> So here we have the set up, our two favorite angsty force users on their way to Ahch-To, and I have yet to figure out what sort of confrontation they'll have when they're reunited, but you can bet that sparks will fly, perhaps literally.


	2. Only In My Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Rey gets reacclimatized on Ahch-To, and makes more than one shocking discovery. Kylo Ren gets into unexpected combat. Both of these angsty kids come to a kind of sort of understanding between one another, via a force connection.

Rey landed on Ahch-To with the dawn. The familiar smell of salt spray lifted her spirits as she strode down the gangplank of the Falcon. Water was always a cause of wonder, and some trepidation, she noted, recalling the time she’d fallen down a hole, pulled down into the cold waters seeking answers from the dark. Hoisting her belongings over her shoulder she followed the path back to the huts where she’d shared a brief time training under Luke. Luke. Her heart was wracked with a pang of sadness. She’d felt him in his final moment. She thanked the Light that he did not seem to be in pain or distress. Only peace. BB8 followed behind her, making happy noises. The care takers saw her approach and chattered amongst themselves. She cringed inwardly, recalling the damage she'd caused unwittingly during her previous stay. Hopefully this would not count against her now. She didn’t know their language very well, but she knew they understood her. “I’ve come to stay again for a while. I’ll use Master Luke’s hut if that’s okay.” she addressed them quietly. One of the care takers nodded and motioned her towards Luke’s old abode. Rey strode on and opened the door. “Well BB8, this is home, for now.” she smiled down at the little droid who beeped in reply. It was a simple place. Master Luke had not afforded himself many luxuries, living an almost monkish life. The bed however was firm and warm. The simple wooden table desk was where she set her staff, and the remains of the saber. There was a shower and a fire pit in the center of the room. On Jakku this would have seemed like a palace to her, she recalled, thinking of her salvaged AT-AT dwelling. She did have to clear a nest of Porgs who’d made themselves at home in a window sill. They cooed in protest but she petted them gently, speaking softly with reassuring words before setting them in the low hanging branch of a tree just outside of Master Luke’s door. Smiling she breathed in the fresh air and looked to the sky. 

The sun was coming up to its full height now. Her eyes flickered across the yard to where her hut had been destroyed, that stormy night when she’d thrown everything to the wind to go to Kylo Ren. The hut had not been rebuilt, but the fire pit remained where Rey had finally allowed herself to look at Kylo Ren as Ben Solo. “I’d never felt so alone.” “You’re not alone.” Rey sighed. Would he ever forgive her? She shook her head and decided to go for a walk. “Wait for me here BB8.”, she told the droid. BB8 protested but she patted it affectionately. “Don’t worry, nothing bad will happen to me here.” Of that she was sure. Ahch-To was as safe as anywhere else she could be, if not more, in the galaxy. She trusted in and agreed with Leia’s thoughts on the First Order. She would be the least of their worries at this point in time. Except for Kylo Ren. the thought came unbidden. No. She shook her head and cleared her mind. She was going to enjoy this day. She grabbed her staff, a water skin, and set out for the place where Luke had first taught her to meditate. She stifled a giggle, remembering how she’d been fooled by the blade of grass Master Luke had held in his hand. She made the hike with a smile, stretching her muscles, feeling the warmth of the sun rise over her face. She marveled at being happy, and free, far from the war, at least for now. She had no idea what the future held, but here at least, she could find a measure of peace. She reached the strange cave where Luke had taken her to expound on the history of the Jedi and the Force. She could see the rock where she’d sat and mediated just ahead. 

She sat her things down and rested by the small pool where someone had made a mosiac of the Light and Dark sides of the force, intertwined. She’d never asked Master Luke about it. She idly assumed then she’d have more time to ask him about the strange places of the island that seemed to be tied to the Jedi Order. Impulsively, she reached a hand into the water, to trace the dividing line between light and dark, noticing for the first time how the Light contained darkness, and Dark contained light. Just like Ben and I, she thought to herself. No. Kylo Ren. She could not afford to slip up. She could not afford to think he saw her as anything but a threat, now that she had rejected his offer to rule the galaxy with him. It could cost her her life. Suddenly a grating sound jarred her out of her thoughts. She realized that the symbol was sliding back. The water was draining! The mosiac tiles slid to reveal…stairs? Rey gawked. Master Luke had never mentioned anything like this to her. She wondered if he even knew? Then she heard it. A humming, keening sound. Calling, beckoning her. She rose from the ground and hesitantly set foot on the first step. The wood looked old, and wet but held true under her weight. The keening seemed to increase in volume as she followed the stairs downwards. Moisture hung in the air. The surface at the bottom of the stairs was wet, as though water had just recently pooled where she once stood. Dripping sounds came to her ears. She could see a faint light that grew brighter as she reached the bottom. She looked up, relieved to see the seal had not slid back into place. A breeze tickled the back of her neck. Turning around, she saw a sight that made her gasp. It was a cave. A cave of Kyber crystals! These were what made the noise. What bathed her in a pale white light. Rey could hardly believe her eyes. “Kriff!” she swore aloud in wonderment. She strolled through the glow of the damp cave. It was small, but it was amazing. Comforting even. She stared, noting how the crystals all seemed to be alive, each shining with their own inner light. Suddenly she noticed two of the crystals seemed to glow more intensely as she drew near to the far side of the cave. She felt as if they were calling out to her. She realized then she was meant to have them. She felt the rightness of it the moment she brushed them with her fingers. Gently, reverently she broke the crystals from the cave wall, noting they were wet with moisture as she did so. She realized that the sea must have protected and sealed this place when no one had access to it. I wish you could be here to see this Master Luke, she thought. For all his failings, she yearned for his presence then. He could be here to help her rebuild her saber, instruct her. She sighed and clutched the crystals to her breast. A calm washed over her almost instantly as they flared at the touch of her skin. She recalled Leia’s words. “The force will show you your path Rey. Trust in it.” Smiling she walked back and up the stairs. Immediately the mosiac tile symbol slid back into place, as soon as she stepped back onto the ground above. The water reappeared. Rey breathed a shaky sigh of wonder and gratitude to the galaxy for showing her this secret. She thought about staying to meditate, but then her stomach rumbled. She glanced towards the rock where she’d taken her first steps as a Jedi to be. Tomorrow. She’d come back tomorrow. Picking her staff up from the ground, she headed back for the hut. The sun was already setting. Days were short on Ahch-To. Nights were long. But even so, she noted, they held their own beauty. 

A caretaker approached her with a tray of fish and some fresh vegetables upon her return. Surprised, she thanked them and took the tray. She was grateful, she had requested only ready to eat rations to stock the Falcon with before leaving the Resistance. Fresh food was a luxury when you were on the run. Perhaps they’d finally gotten over the damage that came with her presence. She ruefully grinned, recalling their stares of dismay. Well, with any luck she’d bring no more havoc to the island, and its caretakers would breathe a little easier. Back in the hut she found BB8 patiently waiting. She showed the little droid the crystals she’d taken from the cave. The little droid whirred appreciatively. Holding them up she saw that both crystals held flecks of gray, but not solid, opaque, almost like smoke. Interesting, she thought to herself. Again her stomach grumbled reprovingly. Setting the crystals down on her work table with some regret, she grabbed her food and sat down before the fire pit, mouth already watering at the thought of a full meal.

Dinner was a quiet affair, she chewed thoughtfully and reflected on her first day back. It felt lonely, now that Luke was gone. She regretted their fight before she’d left to go to Kylo Ren’s side that night. She regretted her anger towards him. She'd stood over him in a fury-shaking with rage over Luke's betrayal of his nephew. Something vicious in her urged her to bring the staff down and crush his throat. She'd recoiled in horror, knowing it was the influence of the dark side. Immediately shame had filled her to the bone, and she'd taken her leave of him with the assurance that all things would be put right if she could just turn Ben Solo back to the light. How arrogant she'd been. Just like Master Luke had bemoaned of himself. She wished things had ended differently between them, that they'd made amends before he'd passed into the Force from his exertions on Crait. But some part of her knew that Master Luke harbored no resentment or anger towards her. That was not the Jedi way. BB8 gently nudged her, as if he sensed her emotions. Rey smiled. She was fond of the droid. She knew many people did not see droids as sentient. On Jakku they were luxuries at best, scraps at worst to be sold for survival. But for Rey, BB8 was the droid that started her adventure, and her new life. She couldn’t help but care for it. Finishing her food, she doused the coals of the fire pit and sighed with contentment. BB8 rolled to a corner and silently went into quiet mode. Sleep called to her, but she wanted a shower. She wanted to be clean. 

She hadn’t had a shower since she’d left the island to go to Kylo Ren, just hurried washes when time spared her a moment and a basin of water in the Falcon’s bathroom. The ship was large enough to have comfortable quarters but the space was primarily dedicated to holding cargo, not passengers. Han must have done his bathing when he docked, she mused, nose wrinkled. She stripped down and stepped into the rudimentary shower on the other side of the hut. It had a partition, to shield her from prying eyes. She rolled her eyes thinking now that she was entirely alone there was no need for modesty. Showering had been an unsafe thing on Jakku. But on Ahch-To, she knew she was safe and had become quite fond of them. She used a bar of soap from her rations she’d brought with her to cleanse herself with, and lingered under the hot spray until she saw her fingers getting wrinkly. She turned off the water, wrapped herself in a towel and sat on the bed, running her fingers through her damp hair. She knew she should change into at least a tunic, but the bed was calling her, and she was alone. There was no one to barge in on her here. Her eyes heavy, she gave in to the warmth of the bed, and the lure of rest. She threw the towel down and fell back into the firm mattress, gathering the blankets to her before closing her eyes to sleep. 

 

Kylo Ren was asleep. His dreams shifted, some dark and terrible. HIs body tossed in a fold out bunk adjacent to the cock pit as his cruiser, set on auto pilot made its way through the stars toward Ahch-To. He relived the fight with Rey in the throne room repetitively in his sleep. It ended a hundred different ways. She lived, he died. She died, he lived. They died together. Variations upon variation. In the final one he held her in his arms, as she gasped out her last breath. “No. No Rey. Don’t let go. Don’t give up. There’s so much I have to say. Please. Please. Don’t leave me!” He screamed in anguish as her body went limp and cold in his grasp. “Oh Rey. Rey.” he sobbed, eyes closed and pressing his forehead against hers. “I’m so sorry.” And suddenly, Kylo felt his consciousness shift. He felt…her. Opening his eyes he saw that he was in a stone hut similar to the one he’d sat in, touching Rey’s hand with his own on that fateful night. “What…” confused, he looked around, and to his shock and awe, saw Rey passed out on a bed. Not just passed out, but clearly unclothed, by the revealing sight of her bare shoulders peeking out from the blankets. He felt his face flush at the sight of her exposed skin, dusted with freckles. She slept with her arms above her head, as if in a free fall. Her normally bound hair fell in loose waves around her sleeping face. It hit him then that this was no dream. They were connected by the force again. And she…she was on the very same planet his ship was hurtling towards this moment. A dark smile broke out on his face. 

He briefly scanned the hut and noted the droid, and the crude table on which her few belongings rested, but his attention returned to Rey. He dropped down to his knees beside her. Watched the rise and fall of her chest which told him his nightmares, were just that. She was alive. She was beautiful. And she was definitely dreaming about something. She moved in her sleep suddenly, which made the blanket slip further down, revealing a hint of the slopes of her breasts. Kylo Ren swallowed hard. He was a master of the Force, skilled in the art of war. But this was something which he knew nothing about firsthand, except that suddenly, he couldn’t think straight. The muscles in his jaw clenched. Oh he knew what went on between a man and a woman, but had never desired nor felt curiosity to pursue anything of the sort. Especially under the watchful eye of Snoke’s tutelage. His former master had taught him quickly that anything he cared for or desired could and would be used against him in the cruelest ways. Rey moaned, drawing him back to her still sleeping form on the bed. “I’m so sorry. I only wanted you..just you.” A tear fell down one cheek on her anguished face. Kylo Ren felt the breath go out of him. It was real. She cared for him. She had saved him. “Rey.” her name escaped his lips before he even realized he was going to speak. He hadn’t meant to disturb her, but her eyes flew open, and he barely had time to wonder whether they were brown or green before she socked him right in the nose. 

“KRIFF!” he yelled, rubbing his nose. He knew it wasn’t broken, but it was a close call! Rey gasped. “I am so sorry I just-WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” She grabbed her blankets and wrapped them up around her. I am SO screwed, she thought to herself. She thought belatedly of her staff, just beyond Kylo Ren, resting on the table. “There will be no need for that, Rey.” Kylo groaned, gesturing to the staff behind him. “I would not surprise you in such a dishonorable way to fight. The force connected us while we were both sleeping. I found myself here and you..you were dreaming. Of the throne room.” He dropped his eyes but remained at the edge of her bed, shoulders tensed. Rey studied the man kneeling before her. His face was obscured by the fall of his raven hair. “You know then. You know the truth.” He nodded. Rey exhaled. “Please..look at me. Let me see your face.” Kylo Ren slowly turned his gaze upwards at Rey until his eyes locked with hers. “It seems I cannot deny you anything, though you denied me.” he rasped. Rey looked quite the sight, perched slightly above him, swaddled by blankets, eyes wide. 

“I did not deny you..you failed to understand what it was I wanted. Certainly not to rule.” Rey breathed out. Kylo Ren rose abruptly, he was looming over her with fierce animal eyes. “You made me feel like a fool.” he hissed. “I was so enraged. I was not in control of myself, especially not on Crait.” Kylo Ren slammed a gloved fist against the wall. “I ALMOST KILLED YOU. I didn’t….I didn’t know you were piloting the Falcon until I saw you standing in the door…” Rey shrank back from him, her spine suddenly feeling the rough wall of the hut through the blankets. Kylo Ren examined his hand, detached from the pain, his voice lowering. “I dreamed of you every night. Just tonight I dreamed that you died in my arms. It was that dream that made the bond reopen between us. Because even though you denied me, I had to see you were still alive!” He breathed raggedly, and placed his hands against the wall just above her trembling form with a sigh. He breathed, his voice suddenly gentle. “And now I know. Now I know. You saved me. You could have left me there, by where the fire had broken out. Maybe it would have killed me. Maybe not. But you chose to help me. It wasn’t just a dream…” He trailed off, looking down at her. She seemed to quiver, her breaths were shallow. Kylo Ren couldn’t help himself. He reached a gloved hand out, slowly. “I mean you no harm. I swear it.” he whispered. “I’ve wanted to do this for some time now.” He cupped her face in the palm of his hand. Rey closed her eyes and against every ounce of her common sense, leaned into his touch. She breathed in leather, feeling butterflies suddenly take flight in her stomach at the contact. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” she breathed. “What are you going to do to me?” She felt his glove fall away from her face. Her eyes flew open to see him take a seat beside her on the bed. She felt the heat of his proximity as he leaned towards her, his eyes locked on hers. “What am I going to do to you…” he whispered huskily. “Nothing you should be afraid of.” 

She barely had time to register the tone of his voice before he snaked his arms around her. Suddenly she was pressed directly against Kylo Ren’s massive chest and she gasped. Warmth crept up her face as she turned her gaze up towards him, trying to read the look written across his face. Hunger. Heat. Something possessive. Instinctively she squirmed against him. “Rey. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m not your enemy tonight. Please. Who knows how long the force will hold us together this time? Let me have this moment with you.” he begged, tightening his arms around her. Rey went limp, relaxing in his arms, staring up at him. “Will you be my enemy tomorrow, Kylo Ren?” “Rey. I don’t know how we will fit into the scheme of things in this new galaxy..but you are not my enemy. You never were.” He tilted her chin up towards his with one hand, and claimed her lips with his. Rey closed her eyes and moaned softly into his kiss. It seemed like time had frozen in place. She did not want the spell to break. He finally pulled away from her lips, sighing with regret. “Rey. There’s something I have to tell you, before the connection breaks.” Rey shook her head, trying to focus herself. “What is it?” “You’re never going to believe this but, I’m on my way to Ahch-To. I didn’t know you were here. I just wanted to get away from the First Order for a while. I swear.” He released her, raising his hands almost defensively as if expecting another swing from her. Rey bit back a hysterical laugh. “It would seem we can’t escape one another.” He smirked, and she felt her heart lurch. “So it would seem.” He leaned in for another kiss, this time, Rey was ready and leaned towards him in response, eager to feel his lips again. Just as his lips touched hers, the connection severed, and she fell forward in surprise on the bed. On his personal cruiser, Kylo Ren let out a growl of frustration. He strode to the cock pit to check his navigation system, and relaxed after viewing the time left till he landed. In a few hours, she would really be in his arms, and this time, nothing in the galaxy would interrupt them. This was enough to content him into going back to sleep. Just before his eyes closed, he felt a surge of warmth through the bond. “Rey.” he breathed softly, and surrendered to dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww wasn't that kind of sweet? And don't worry readers! I have every intention of making this a slow burn. Kylo Ren might have experienced a small victory with getting to kiss Rey this soon in the tale, but the battle of surrender between the two of them is barely beginning. I'll try to have Chapter 3 out before the end of next week!


	3. You Could Be Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Hurricane Rey strikes again, leaving our poor caretakers shaking their head once more. She takes a hike and gives in to a feels trip. Kylo Ren reminds Hux that he's still in charge, and broods about everyyything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again readers! I had no idea how much time it would take for me to complete the next chapter, so I'd given myself the end of the week. This story is bursting to get out though, I'd actually had the rough draft done yesterday, and felt happy with it in its final form today so who am I to sit on a completed chapter when you've already been so kind in your response to my offerings?! Enjoy, and be sure to leave me comments with your thoughts. I like hearing from you. :D

Rey woke to the insistent chirping of the Porg hatchlings nested in the tree outside the door. The sun spilled in dimly through the window of Luke’s old hut on Ahch-To. In the distance she heard the crash of the waves, the sea sounded rough today. She stretched out slowly in bed before the events of last night hit her with a ton of bricks. Kylo Ren had been here. Kylo Ren had KISSED her. Well, technically it didn’t count as it was through their bond. But it certainly felt real! Her cheeks burned as she recalled how quickly she threw all sense out the door when the bond reconnected them. Kriff. He was on his way. Hesitantly, she reached out through the bond, and felt a pulse of energy surging back. He definitely felt near. Perhaps she’d better get dressed before he arrived, she admonished herself. Still she couldn’t help but smile. In the few moments the force had connected them, he had reassured her that though his pride was wounded, he was not on a mission of vengeance. That didn’t change the fact that he was now the Supreme Leader though, of the faction that blasted Hosnian Prime into a million bits of stardust, she mused darkly. But a gentle sense of hope welled inside her, one she hadn’t felt in days. Perhaps, he would be a better leader than Snoke. With time. Perhaps he could still come to the Light. And perhaps her parents were going to reappear at any given moment, she thought bitterly. She had to be careful. He was still enshrouded far into the Dark side of the Force, and had made no declarations about anything except that he was not her enemy. With a huff she finished dressing, shrugging into an old rebel flight jacket over her tunic and trousers, given to her by Leia. She’d considered adding her arm wraps but decided against it. Finally she secured her hair in a single neat bun, not wanting to waste more time than necessary with her appearance. Today she would be trekking all across the island.

“BB8.” she called to the droid. BB8 activated and beeped a good morning to her. “BB8 I’d like for you to come with me today. I may need your help translating some texts.” The droid rolled around in a circle, seemingly excited. Rey laughed as she stood over the wooden table, gathering things for the day to take with her, including the two crystals and the damaged saber. Soon, she thought to herself, staring at the damaged weapon. Soon it will be repaired, with luck. She holstered her staff and a satchel over her shoulder, Luke’s saber clipped to the belt loop of her trousers. “Let’s go BB8.” BB8 beeped and fell in behind her as she exited the hut-only to run blindly into one of the caretakers who’d brought her a tray of fruits. The tray went sailing into the air as did the fruits. The caretaker squawked indignantly, falling backwards. Rey reached out instinctively and everything froze in place. Now the caretaker was simply stuck in place at a strange angle. “I am so very sorry!” Rey said frantically, gently reaching for the caretaker and setting her (Rey assumed it was a her at least, by the outfits they all wore) upright on solid ground. Unfortunately her focus had been solely on making sure the care taker didn’t fall, so the tray and fruit completed their unfortunate descent to land on the ground with a dull thud. The caretaker let out a chiding groan, shaking her head at Rey. “Please, don’t worry, I’ll clean this up!” Rey exclaimed. She began gathering the fruit, and handed the tray back to the caretaker, shame faced. Rey wondered why she was such a disaster on this island, not for the first time. The caretaker motioned for her to return the fruit as well but Rey protested. “It’s alright. I can clean them off, you don’t have to bring me any more. I don’t waste food.” The caretaker stared at Rey for a long moment before shrugging as if to say suit yourself, and walked off towards the other huts. Probably to tell the other caretakers about the latest accident, she thought wryly. She was so embarrassed that she didn’t even realize that she’d done something new with the Force until she was halfway up the hill from the village. A sense of elation came over her, perhaps her power would continue to progress after all, even without Luke’s instruction. From here she needed to decide where to go first, the cave to meditate, or the tree. She opted for the cave, wanting to be nearby when Kylo Ren landed. Once more she opened the bond to feel for him. It was probably a matter of an hour or less before he would land, she judged by the bond. Just enough time to make the hike and meditate to center herself. 

 

Rey returned to the cave and took the same spot beside the mosaic symbol of the Jedi, contemplating it as she wiped and ate her fruit. BB8 made curious noises as it turned about in 360 circles, trying to take in its surroundings. Rey was distracted however as she gazed on the seal protecting the cave of Kyber Crystals. She was once again drawn to the fact that neither side was completely of the Light or the Dark. And something else she hadn’t noticed in her explorations yesterday, was that the tiled line that split the two symbols was neither black, nor white. It was gray. A blend of both colors, she thought to herself. “A balance.” she said aloud to herself. A feeling of peacefulness washed over her, as she finished her breakfast, stuffing the rest in her satchel for later. “A balance of what?” Kylo Ren’s voice came to her, startling her into standing up. “I..I was thinking out loud.” she offered lamely, and turned to see his imposing figure standing behind her. She knew that the force had reconnected them once more, he wasn’t quite there just yet. He was still dressed head to toe in black. But, just as last night, he had foregone wearing his helmet. 

Rey wondered if this was deliberate or not, but couldn’t bring herself to ask. She looked him over, realizing she’d never really seen him in the light of day. The sunlight that spilled in from the opening where she’d first meditated seemed to bring out green in his eyes. His skin was pale, like the snows of the forest where they’d first crossed sabers. His hair, black and wavy was pushed back from his face, allowing her a long look at him. Her eyes traveled to the wicked scar she’d given him in their first fight, starting from above his eyebrow, trailing down his face and somewhere past his cowl. She wondered how far down the scar actually went, with a pang of remorse. “Would you like to see?” he offered with a smirk. “Did you just read my thoughts?” Rey asked, blushing. “Yes. It would seem the bond is deepening with unexpected consequences. To be fair, it was just as loud in my mind as if you’d been speaking out loud. I wasn’t trying to see inside your mind. This time.” 

Kylo Ren looked around. “What is this place?” he asked. “I’m not exactly sure myself.” Rey said slowly. “I know it’s connected to the Jedi though. There’s a cave of Kyber Crystals below us.” His eyes widened. “Kyber Crystals?!” “Yes. It’s why I’m here actually” she produced Luke’s damaged saber. He stared at it, inspecting the damage that had stemmed from their last confrontation. “Rey, do not attempt anything until I get there. If you try to repair the saber by yourself, it could go badly. You need to build your own saber, really. Let that thing go.” Rey clutched the saber stubbornly. She’d never give up this reminder of Luke. She saw Kylo Ren clench a fist, as if he’d heard her thoughts again. “Just..wait for me Rey. I’m almost there.” “How will you find me though if you’ve never been here?” Kylo Ren walked up to her and placed a hand on her shoulder, letting it slide idly up to rest on the back of her neck. “The bond. When it’s open, I can find you anywhere. I no longer need a map to reach you, my little scavenger.” His eyes bored into hers and she shivered, not quite sure what she was feeling. Before she could respond, their connection severed again. He vanished, but the sensation of his gloved hand remained on the back of her neck. Rey growled and kicked the ground pointlessly. The nerve of him, calling her his. The arrogance in his sense of surety annoyed her. Just like a spoiled brat, she thought suddenly. Then she remembered that technically, Kylo Ren was a prince. With the inflated head to match, she smirked. She walked towards the rock, determined to get some meditation in and peace of mind before he showed up to unsettle her once again.  


The wind hit her face as she took a seat on the rock, and for a moment she looked out over the ledge, to gaze at the seemingly endless stretch of water. Something fluttered in her peripheral, and she looked down towards the right side of the ledge. Something dark that had until this point blended in with the colors of the rock. She carefully made her way toward the side of the ledge and looked down, her eyes trying to make sense of what she was seeing. Kneeling she gathered it in her hands, as realization drew a sob from her. Luke’s cloak. She’d know it anywhere. This must have been where he'd projected from to Crait, before passing into the force. She bunched the fabric in her hands, and brought it to her face as tears came hard and fast. She wept for Luke, for Han, for herself, for all the loss she’d ever endured, for the friends who’d lost the ones they loved in this stupid war-for the lonely girl she’d been on Jakku, dreaming for someone, anyone to save her. She wept until she could not see, her eyes swollen shut with tears she’d been holding back for so long. The feeling of hopelessness welled up within her. She was over her head with no clue what to do, or who she was. She screamed out into the sky, letting all the frustration and pain release into the air, carried out into the waves which seemed to rage with her, seas tossing and turning in tandem with her emotions. Her anguish gave no sign of abating, she remained kneeling on the ledge and let it run through her. She knew somewhere deep down that this was a necessary thing to do, that keeping her emotions pent up would never serve her in a positive way. She’d been running from one scrape to the next, never really being given time to process or dwell on anything since she had left Jakku behind. She fought to regain the sense of peace she’d found only yesterday, but it slipped out of reach. No, it seemed this was something she was not getting out of, she grimaced, opening her eyes to swipe at the tears still rolling down her face. Her head felt stuffy from weeping so intensely, and her face felt swollen. She rose and went to the rock to sit, wrapping Luke’s cloak around her, trying to take comfort in the weight of it on her shoulders. She reached for the force, desperately seeking something to help her regain her composure. At least on the outside. 

 

Kylo Ren watched absently from the cock pit as his personal cruiser approached the outer atmosphere of Ahch-To in a slow lazy circle, preparing for the landing. He’d researched Ahch-To before making the flight, studying its geography, weather patterns and the like. It was impressive, even from the outer atmosphere. He’d normally give it more appreciation but Rey was on the forefront of his thoughts. Soon she would be with him once more. He looked forward to seeing her, more than he’d dared admit aloud. He definitely hoped that this time, at least, she would accept his instruction in making her own light saber. His brow furrowed, recalling the way she’d clutched the saber that had belonged to Luke. He hated his uncle for claiming any of her affection and care. He knew though that she sought a familial figure in anyone, desperately wanting to belong to someone. You can belong to me, Rey. he thought. In time. he ran a hand through his hair. Getting her to trust him at this point would be no easy feat. Not to mention the logistics of the new roles the universe had thrust upon them both. She was the Last Jedi, and he was the Supreme Leader. By rights they should be bitter enemies. He should hate her. But he had never been anything but fascinated by her, from the moment he carried her off world from Takadona. He’d watched her in the interrogation room, patiently waiting for her to awaken, allowing no one to enter the room, or to oversee her questioning aside from himself. He’d known she was force sensitive before she did. She’d aggravated him, eluded him, enraged him with her constant decline of his offer to teach her, to join him. She’d captivated and stunned him as she’d stood above him in the howling snowstorm, saber raised to claim his life. In that moment, as he kneeled before her, he’d found himself believing that this wouldn’t be a bad way to die, at the hand of this wild beautiful scavenger. Yes, he’d have to work hard, to show her that she could place her faith in him. He’d decided that he would have her as his student, but she would be the one to ask him to teach her. He smiled to himself before rising from the pilot’s chair to begin prepping a pack to take with him onto the island. He looked back and stared at his helmet, resting in the co pilot’s chair. His own words echoed in his mind.

“Let the past die.” he uttered. That helmet, he realized, was the past. He’d have to wear it, to keep up appearances with the First Order. But he no longer felt the need to hide behind it. He didn’t want to see Rey stare at him in revulsion, frightened of how alien he seemed with the mask on. It did not escape him that he felt very off balance. That she had thrown him off balance. Her light had been working its way into his soul, from the moment they’d touched hands on that stormy night. He no longer seemed to care, he had no one to hide it from. Snoke was dead, the only person he’d ever owed allegiance to. As the Supreme Leader, he answered to no one. And there would be no one to interfere..except Hux, he thought belatedly, clenching a gloved hand. As if his thoughts had summoned his nemesis, the com link blinked, indicating a message incoming from the general. He sighed and accepted the transmission. Even as a holo projection, General Hux was every inch the slimy imperious dog Kylo Ren despised. He idly considered force choking him. He knew it could be done, even at a distance. He’d heard how his former master had humiliated him in front of everyone on deck not too long before his demise. “Supreme Leader.” Hux sneered. “I was told you left us, rather abruptly. Is everything alright?” the General’s voice was terrible at feigning sarcasm disguised as concern. Kylo Ren stared, considering once again simply crushing the man’s throat and being done with him. But that was not the way things were done in the First Order. “General Hux, your concern is… touching.” he managed to put every ounce of sarcasm he had in his words to let Hux know he saw right through him. Hux blanched. “I am very well. I’m currently on a personal mission. I don’t expect to be away for too long. So don’t get too comfortable in my chair.” Hux jumped, not realizing Kylo Ren could see that he was projecting from the throne room. “Keep me informed of the ongoing appointments and replacements. I will be checking via my personal holo pad. And be assured, that whatever you leave out, my knights will be certain to include.” Hux’s eyes got very wide. “Oh, I suppose I forgot to mention that I’d left a few of them on board with you?” Kylo Ren grinned wickedly on the inside. “I..yes Supreme Leader. I will be in touch.” the suddenly sweaty general’s projection winked out, and Kylo Ren chortled. How could this man be capable of over throwing him when he barely had the courage to show him snark? Still years of experience in combat had taught him that even a coward could strike a fatal blow, when the moment presented itself. He’d seen several seasoned soldiers meet their end this way in scraps with the Resistance.

He finished prepping his bag for his stay on Ahch-To and returned to the pilot’s seat, strapping in for landing. He didn’t have to, this cruiser was equipped with the best stabilizers credits could buy, but it was a habit. As the ship made its decent, he saw the Falcon, a small white dot, growing larger by the second. He looked away. He couldn’t think about anything to do with his father. No. The only thing he wanted to focus on was Rey. He reached out with the force, feeling the nearness of her bond as though it was the heat of a fire. In his minds eye her force energy burned bright, like a sun. He saw the silver thread that linked the two of them together. Small pulses of light swam through her end of the bond towards his own. He studied it with a smile. The potential of their bond deepening was limitless. He knew instinctively that their bond went beyond that of any typical force user. The hiss of the engines brought him back to the moment as he touched down on the shores of Ahch-To, not far from the Falcon. He mashed the code to the security pad that opened the door with impatience, eager to close the distance between himself and Rey. Hoisting his belongings over his shoulder, he strode out into the open air of Ahch-To. The waves crashed angrily against the shore. He could feel small droplets of ocean hitting his hair which blew this way and that in the wind. Up the hill he saw crude stone dwellings, he knew that this was where Rey would be staying. Without looking at the Falcon, he walked with a purpose towards the huts. 

The air felt good on his face. There was so much open space under the sky. So much life, elemental and animal. As he came upon the huts, two small beings approached him, speaking a gutteral language, which he understood, finding himself thankful for his early education paying off yet again. Understanding multiple languages had been one of the first talents he’d shown an aptitude for, and was helpful when he’d gone on missions to different worlds for Snoke and the First Order. “I’m here to visit Rey.” he said hesitantly, not really sure how to introduce himself. The two beings turned to look at each other and spoke again. “What do you mean don’t break anything. Do you have any-“ he stopped. No, of course they wouldn’t have any idea of who he was. He let out a sigh, not wanting to be separated from Rey another moment. “You will give me the use of one of these huts while I’m here.” he commanded with the force. 

The caretakers both stared at him for a long moment before laughing. He realized they could not be manipulated by the Force. One of them spoke, to tell him he would need to stay in Rey’s hut, as all the others belonged to the caretakers. They pointed him in the direction of the hut before strolling off, still laughing. Kylo Ren decided he’d need to ask Rey exactly why they were so suspicious of him damaging something. He sighed and let himself into Rey’s current dwelling. He looked around and realized that there was only one bed which made his cheeks heat. He recalled the sight of her wrapped in the blanket, concealed yet tantalizing his senses. He knew though that Rey was not going to be thrilled about the idea of him sharing a bed with her. But she might be, one day. The thought came to him suddenly and he grinned with anticipation. But for now, he’d do the honorable thing. He decided that he’d sleep on the floor. No need to make her more uncomfortable than necessary while they figured things out. He tore his gaze from the bed and inspected the rest of the dwelling. Simple, reminding him of his own when he trained as a padawan at Luke’s temple. At least there was a shower, he noted. A bar of soap rested on the ledge. The smell of something warm and sweet that he could not identify drifted to him. This is what her skin would smell like, he realized, and shuddered. He reached out through the bond once more to gauge her proximity. He felt her not too far away. Less than an hour’s journey from the huts. Suddenly, a wave of overwhelming sadness flooded into him from her end of the bond. What could it be? He sent his essence out towards her, trying to let her know he was near and would be with her soon. He trusted that the force would carry the message to her and set out in a run towards her location. I’m coming, he sent along the bond. Concern spurred his already long strides across the land with all the speed he could summon. The only thing that mattered was reaching her. Nothing else. He set his mind and body to the task and ran, a dark blur streaking through the green hills towards her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOOOOOOOOO THE FEELS. Poor Rey! She's really going through a rough time. In times of upheaval, or in traumatic events in which loss occurs, people don't always have time to process their emotions, so here they come out all in a messy jumble for her. Also, wow, it should be canon that she's going to destroy Ahch-To by accident. I wonder if the caretakers feel like closing the island off permanently just to avoid further disaster? I really enjoyed writing in this element of humor, to cushion the rough patch of Rey's fit of mourning. Also Hux thinking he was slick. Not today General Hugs. 
> 
> I really wanted to reunite these two in this chapter, but got lost in world building. Somehow I hope that it will make it better when they do in the next chapter. I'm making time to start my rough draft of it today. Thanks again for sticking along. In the next chapter, there will be sooooo much angst, and Kylo Ren will be a bit of an idiot. (When is he not though honestly) Till Chapter 4 then, my readers!


	4. All Things In Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Rey and Kylo Ren push each others buttons, spar, and share some domestic fluff ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit of a challenge for me. I have only the vaguest grasp of how to write fight scenes. Once again I have taken liberties with the canonical storyline (the knights of ren, light saber lore, their force bond) but I trust that while it's not canon compliant, you will enjoy it nonetheless.

Rey sat silently weeping, looking out to sea. The worst of her sadness had passed and she began to feel weary. It seemed that she would not be able to focus on meditating anytime soon. The emotions had to run their course. Suddenly she became aware of Kylo Ren through the bond. A surge of alarm coming closer and closer. He must have felt her emotions through the bond. Before she could decide what to do, she heard him calling out, his voice echoing as he ran into the cave.”REY!” REY!” REY-KRIFF!” She hopped off the rock, hearing BB8’s shrill beeping. She rushed back into the cave where he stood, fending off the little droid. “BB8 it’s alright!” she cried. BB8 beeped angrily and rolled to her. “I promise, it’s okay.” The droid made a soft sound, as if to imply it would accept her decision about whether he was friend or foe before settling down by the small pool which concealed the cave. She looked towards Kylo Ren, who was breathing hard from his run to get to her. He walked to her side and grasped her with his arms, looking her over. “Rey, what is it? I felt your pain.” He looked her over, trying to assure himself that at the very least she wasn’t physically hurt. Rey froze in his arms, unsure how to deal with this open display of worry on her behalf. Her brain decided for her that more crying was the correct course of action. Kylo Ren dropped his hands from her side, no clue how to handle this outburst of emotion. “Rey, what is it? How can I help you? Tell me.” With a sob she threw herself against his chest, and cried hot tears against him. She vaguely felt his arms close around her again, one gripping the small of her back, one pressing her head against his chest. She realized she could hear his heart. The sound of it began to calm her, as did the sensation of his hand making soothing motions on the small of her back. She took a breath to speak. “I..I’m sorry.” she shuddered out. “It’s just that I..I found something, this cloak. It’s Luke’s cloak. This is where..where it happened.” She was a mess, she realized. “I’m sorry. It’s just been so much. So much to process. I always seem to be left behind. You must think I’m ridiculous, a stupid girl.” She pulled away from him, turning her back.

“If nothing else, this proves to me that you are not meant to be a Jedi.” his voice came quietly. Rey whirled in anger, ready to deliver a retort before he held up a hand. “Jedis are always in control of their emotions. It is one of the foundations of their religion-there is no emotion, only peace.” he smirked “But you Rey, you burn with emotion. You cannot be a Jedi. You feel too much, and I for one, would never want to see you molded into some cold, passionless acolyte of a flawed and ancient movement. You are meant for more than that.” “What am I to be then?” she asked petulantly. “I have no intention of joining the dark side. You know this. I will never become a Sith. I will never let the dark command me.” Kylo Ren picked up on the implication that she was not joining him, and gritted his teeth, trying to find the patience to explain the epiphany he’d had. “Did it ever occur to you that I have no intention of turning you to the dark side? That I never did?! Keep your soul Rey! I’ve only wanted one thing from the first time I felt your power, to guide you!” Rey bared her teeth, stepping into his space. “Oh, right, and did you honestly think that your master Snoke would have let you keep me all to yourself!? That he wouldn’t have tried to turn me from the light?!” Kylo Ren flinched. “Snoke is dead.” he ground out, stepping into her challenge for his space, showing he was not intimidated by her. “Skywalker is dead! Stop wasting your tears for people who didn’t give a damn about you!” Rey reached out in blind anger and slapped him across the face. He looked at her, stunned. “You know who gave a damn about me? Han Solo. Your father, and you took him from me. You took Luke from me too. YOU HAVE TAKEN ALMOST EVERY PERSON WHO’S EVER SHOWN KINDNESS FROM ME AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT.” She screamed, burning holes in his eyes with her own. “Damn you Kylo Ren.” she seethed, and did an about face to walk off and head towards the hut. 

“DON’T TURN YOUR BACK ON ME SCAVENGER.” Rey felt herself freeze in place, mid step. BB8, she could tell from the sound of more angry noises was in the force grip also. No doubt the droid had tried to rush to her defense. Fear climbed up her insides, threatening to claw its way out. “Put me down.” “No. Not until you let me explain what I was trying to say about you.” Kylo Ren walked in front of her. His face was unreadable but she could feel the rage pouring off of him. And beneath that, frustration. It had all gone wrong. This was not the reunion he’d planned, she saw, the bond showing her his mind. “GET OUT OF MY HEAD.” He yanked the cloak from her, holding it as if he wanted nothing more than to tear it to shreds. “DON’T!” she pleaded, flailing uselessly with her mind to escape his hold. He slid his eyes from her face to her body. “I think I like you like this. I like it when you beg. Reminds me of our first meeting.” he said, a smug tone in his voice. “You mean the one where I escaped your pathetic security?” she spat out, unappreciative of being stared at as though she were a meal in front of a hungry predator. His eyes whipped back to her face, and he snarled and tossed the cloak aside. 

“What’s the matter Kylo Ren, afraid I’ll best you in a fair fight? Is that why you won’t release me-“ Rey’s foot completed the step she’d been taking to leave when he’d frozen her movements and she hardly had time for her brain to register she’d been set free before Kylo Ren had once again trapped her in the steel cage of his arms, eyes smoldering. He’d also released the droid who sputtered what was certainly obscene names in his direction, but remained at a wary distance. Kylo Ren leaned down and Rey knew he was going to try and kiss her again. She could sense his intentions through the bond. She reached her hand up to slap him once again but he caught it with his, crushing her against his body with his other. “That will not happen again Scavenger. You might have surprised me once with that move, but I am a quick learner.” He dropped her hand, allowing her to make the call to test him. She decided against it. “My name is Rey. Stop calling me scavenger.” He growled. “When you act civilized, I’ll be more than happy to. You think you can best me in a fair fight?” he brought his lips close to hers, before leaning his mouth against her ear. “Let’s spar then, Rey.” The words whispered slowly, emphasizing her name into her ear, caused a gasp to escape her. She felt his smugness through the bond at her response. “You know I can’t beat you right now. My saber is broken.” He pulled back and released her. “Then use my own.” He gave her a gentle shove away to widen the gap between them, and unclipped his saber. He stepped back and threw it to her. Rey caught it instinctively, but stood still, gaping at him. “You’re just going to hand over your saber to me?” He cocked his head towards her with an arrogant gaze. “I have every confidence that you’ll do your best to defeat me. But since you’re an untrained scavenger, I thought I’d give you an edge.” 

Rey’s vision went black and she howled, charging towards Kylo Ren as she ignited his saber. She heard the angry hiss and sputter of his red blade as it flared to life in her hands, matching the rage burning in her core. She swung out, and Kylo Ren side stepped her. Her frustration increased as she turned to face her body to his, stabbing blindly. She knew instinctively that she was not even trying to follow any sort of form, she was completely unbalanced and simply wanted to give Kylo Ren an ounce of payback. He ducked and dodged out of her way, a look of amusement growing on his face as her ire increased. He put his hands behind his back and raised an eyebrow at her, taunting her. That canned it. She whipped the saber around in a twirl to ready herself. She was going to knock that stupid look off his face, and knock his smug face into the dirt! With a yell she charged forward, saber raised like a scarlet demon as she aimed. At the last second, she feinted, switching her stance, and Kylo Ren felt the heat of his saber pass much too close to his neck. She spun back around, a small grin playing on her face. “Oh dear, it seems you’ve accidentally gotten a hair cut.” She gestured with the saber at a lock of dark hair laying on the ground. His eyes widened in surprise but his voice remained infuriatingly cool. “Mediocre at best, scavenger. If this is all you can do, whittling me down piece by piece, we’ll be here all night.” Rey lost all her composure and ran towards him, fully intent on kicking him square in the chest. But in an instant, Kylo Ren was rushing to meet her. He slid low to his knees, his hair flaring out with the motion,and with the speed and grace of a viper, swept a long leg out. She felt her legs give out from underneath as Kylo Ren kicked them, and she fell with an unceremonious grunt, the saber falling out of her hands. He picked it up, and extinguished it. 

“Lesson one. Do not let your emotions blind you in battle.” “THAT’S RICH COMING FROM YOU!” she shouted. He rolled his eyes. “You were not in control of yourself. You won our first battle because I was already gravely injured. In the throne room, you took down the Praetorian Guard with me, where was that concentration today?” He reached out his hand, and she grudgingly took it. “You’re not a bad fighter. At all. But this lack of control and lack of form you just displayed could cost you your life. In battle you must harness your emotions, not the other way around. Use the rage but never give it the lead. It would also serve you better in combat if you would allow yourself to tap the dark side of the force.” He brought her to her feet but kept a distance between them, on alert for anything she might pull. “Another thing, my saber, and Luke’s would never accept you. Or rather the crystals. Kyber Crystals are attuned to bond with one master. You may be able to wield another force user’s saber, but it will never fully work with you, you will remain unbalanced. With a properly constructed light saber, one made by your own hand, I could show you your true potential in saber combat.” Rey looked at him guardedly. She was beyond exhausted now. She’d gone from weeping like a child in his arms to screaming at him to trying to best him, then to listening as though he was her Master, and she his student. A thought that made resentment rise in her all over again. She exhaled, trying to calm herself. “So what is this understanding you’ve had about me?” she asked, wanting to change the subject. She saw him visibly relax. “Rey. I don’t think you belong entirely to the light, or to the dark. Earlier today you spoke of a balance. I think you are potentially what is known as a Gray force user.” he spoke slowly. “I don’t know everything about it, but you essentially, would be balanced evenly with both light and dark.” Her eyes widened. “I want to show you something.” she said, and reached for his hand.

 

Kylo Ren stared at Rey’s offered hand for a long minute. “Please.” He heard her say. This was almost a mirror of the way he’d reached for her in the throne room. For a moment, he considered smacking her hand away. No. He thought. If she is to trust me and accept me, now is not the time for petty revenge. He’d provoked her enough today. Kriff she was beautiful when she was angry though. He’d definitely have to teach her proper combat technique. Her form was atrocious. And, he thought wickedly, he would keep her mad all day just to watch the fire dance in her eyes. Her anger had coiled around him projected by the force bond, and he felt his body respond, the hair on his neck standing up. It was strangely exhilarating. Arousing. Yes. He looked forward to the battle ahead. “Are you alright?” Rey’s voice brought him out of his thoughts. Instead of answering, he took off his gloves. He felt her wariness through the bond, but he willed her to see he had no tricks up his sleeve. He took a breath, and placed his bare hand in hers. He heard Rey exhale loudly, but was too overwhelmed by the feeling of skin on skin contact. And then the force bond enveloped them both in a way he’d never felt before. Almost as if their energies were heightened by the touching of bare flesh. A jolt of fire ran up his body, his heart pounding. Their energies were melding together, he realized. “This is amazing.” she said softly. His eyes latched on to hers. He studied the flecks of brown and green, realizing her eyes were both. A shade of hazel. He’d seen a nebula in space once as a boy. It whirled with green and amber gas. He remembered asking his mother if that was where angels lived. It had enchanted him, the colors swirling in the winds of space. Just like her eyes. “Yes.” he replied quietly, unable to say anything else as he marveled in the connection. He could feel her, in ways which he hadn’t imagined. He knew if he wanted to he could search freely for any truth he’d ever sought from her heart and mind, but opted to give her as much privacy as possible. He felt her emotions though, and was elated at sensing her desire for him. She thought he was attractive. His ego flared up like a sun burst. “Now who’s in who’s head this time Kylo Ren?” she shot at him. But he could feel her through the bond and knew she was merely annoyed, equally just as pleased to know he thought she was beautiful. “Sorry.” he offered, running his other hand through the black tangle of his hair. “I can put my gloves back on, if it’s too much.” Her hand squeezed his, and a another jolt flew through his body. “Don’t you dare. Come on.”

He walked beside her, reveling in the sensation of her touch. He flexed his hand a bit to thread his fingers between hers. He was rewarded with a spike in the essence of their energies, and Rey squeezed his hand, silently acknowledging the occurrence. She’d begun absently rubbing her thumb in circles on his hand and it was all he could do then to resist the sudden urge to throw her down on the floor, a vision of them completely unclothed and pressed into one another arose unbidden in his inner most thoughts. His cheeks heated. This was insanity. This was intoxicating. Distracting. He never wanted it to end. She led him across the floor, marred somewhat by their sparring to the small pool, and knelt down, motioning for him to do the same. He knelt, studying the ancient symbol of Light and Dark entwined under the water. “This is what I want to show you.” Rey said softly, her eyes shining with excitement. Keeping her hand in his, she guided their fingers down the sinuous gray line between the two sides of the Force. The water drained and the symbol slid back. “The cave?” he asked. She nodded and rose, still keeping his hand firmly in hers. “Wait for us BB8.” BB8 beeped an affirmative in reply. She walked down the wooden stairs, and he followed, aware of the smell of sea and the feeling of moisture hanging in the air, before his ears attuned to the sound that had entranced Rey her first time journeying into this place. He felt the force strongly in this place. She urged him deeper into the cave and he stood awed by the hundreds of flickering crystals growing along the walls of the cave and ceiling. “This truly is incredible Rey. This could be one of the last caches of Kyber Crystals in the galaxy.” He looked towards her and saw the biggest smile spread across her face. He was fairly certain his heart had just stopped. He almost couldn’t bear the light and warmth beaming towards him from the bond at the moment, emanating in overwhelming waves from her. And yet he remained, gaping at the look on her face, letting the emotions she felt pour over him. Happiness. Wonder. He decided then and there that he would do anything to make her look at him like that every day. “I never thought I’d see you smile. Not like..like that.” 

“Funny. I could say the same of you. I’m still not sure you’re human.” He bristled for a split second before he realized that she was teasing. She had a point though, he realized. “I can smile.” he said lamely. She stepped into his space and grabbed his hand in hers once more.  
The crystals began humming loudly the minute they clasped each other, and they both caught it.  
Their strange light burned brighter than it had before. “What…” Rey trailed off. “What do you think it means?” she asked, looking around. “I couldn’t say. I don’t remember this happening when I found my Kyber Crystals. Then again, they weren’t found in a cave.” Curiousity seeped through the bond and he squeezed her hand. “A story for another day, I think.” She nodded. “Promise me something.” “What?” “Promise me you’ll never tell the First Order about this cave. It should remain secret. Just like this island.” He studied her and nodded. “Nobody knows where I am Rey. Nobody except my knights. And they will never betray my secrets.” He felt her stiffen, sensing fear. A vision came to his mind, and he realized it was hers. She lay on her back, surrounded by his knights in the pouring rain, panting with fright. “Rey, how could you have encountered my knights?” he asks her, running a soothing hand up her arm. She shivered but he knew it was from her memory, not his touch. “I haven’t. It was a vision I’d had, on Takadona, before you’d captured me.” Interesting, he thought to himself. “I think it was because I was beginning to awaken to the Force.” “Possibly. Rey, don’t be afraid of them. This may actually be the moment for you to meet them. The Knights of Ren aren’t just my personal soldiers, they guard me. And considering there’s a large bounty on your head, it might not be a bad idea for them to guard your back as well.” Rey’s jaw went slack. “Have you lost your kriffing mind?” “Not at all.” “I DO NOT NEED A GUARD. MUCH LESS THOSE MONSTERS.” Rey’s shout echoed through the cavern, the Kyber Crystals dimmed, as if in response to her sudden indignation. She breathed hard, nostrils flaring. “Those ‘monsters’ saved my life, countless times. They were the only people who’ve shown me anything close to friendship since childhood!” he hissed. Again the light dimmed, and he realized he’d tightened his grip on her arm. He released his hold on her. “You once called me a monster.” Rey glanced at him through hooded eyes. “All six of my knights know me. I know them. We six were together from the night your precious Master Luke-MY UNCLE-tried to murder me in my sleep. If we are monsters, consider who made us. My parents who sent me away. Luke. Snoke. I have never known kindness or love. I dedicated myself to giving my entirety to the Dark Side. To destroy the hypocrisy that was the Jedi. Through it all, they have stood at my back. They too, have suffered. They raised their weapons against those who they called Master and friend alike, to get me out of the temple alive. We have been forged through torture and darkness into what we are. Yet you found compassion for me.”

He felt her conflict through the bond, a mixture of pity, sadness, anger, uncertainty. Shame at her outburst and righteousness. “I have no right to ask you this, but I am asking you to trust me. I sense conflict approaching, and I will do anything to keep you safe. Anything.” His darkness swirled up through the bond, possessiveness which he knew she could feel. He didn’t care. Anyone who tried to harm her would die. Slowly. He saw her hand raise and she gingerly reached out to put her hand on his face. “I’m sorry Ben.” Her eyes widened, her other hand flying to her mouth. “I mean, I’m sorry-“ He interrupted her by taking the hand she’d placed on his cheek and kissing the palm of it, eyeing her reaction. He traced slow, deliberate kisses from her palm to the inside of her wrist. “You can call me Ben. I understand it can be..confusing.” He breathed in the fragrance drifting from her pulse point on her delicate wrist, recognizing the scent from the bar of soap in the shower. “Ben..” she spoke again, softly. “I trust you.” Then she laughed darkly. “How do we keep going from yelling at each other to this?” he grunted in surprise as she leaned into his chest. The crystals around them flared, before dying down in a soothing glow. “I’m so tired.” she admitted to him. He felt her exhaustion, emotionally and physically through the bond. “Let’s go back then.” She nodded against him. Then he tensed. “Uh…about my sleeping arrangements.” “Yes?” “It would appear that I’m going to be staying with you. The…caretakers of the island told me that there were no spare quarters available. I’ll sleep on the floor.” he finished hurriedly, waiting for her to explode. Instead she let out a sharp giggle. “Let’s go.” She drew away and they headed for the stairs. Again she walked ahead of him, and this time he had a very pleasant view of her backside, and her shapely calf muscles as she ascended the stairs. 

The sun had dropped in the sky again, and a cool breeze blew through the cave when they reached the surface again. He watched in fascination as the symbol slid back in place, pleased that he’d shared such a significant discovery with her. She’d gathered her belongings, and he did as well. The wind picked up and he felt her shiver through the bond. He gave her an assessing gaze, and realized the old flight jacket she was wearing didn’t offer much in the way of warmth. It was thin, and frayed here and there. He spied the cloak that had belonged to Luke still laying on the ground. Sighing, he retrieved it, and placed it around her shoulders. The silent gratitude he felt through their connection was worth it. She gave him another smile, and he felt sure that his soul was cracking. Her light was forcing its way into the darkest corners of his being. He couldn’t think about that now. He reached his hand out to her, and closed it over hers. It was so small, he marveled to himself. She was small, but nothing about her was dainty. Her body had been forged by hardship and survivalism. In her own way, she was just as much a fighter as he. His equal. They walked, silently hand and hand back to the village. BB8 followed them, he noted the alien caretakers watching them as they approached. He realized that it was the same pair that had spoken with him on his arrival. Rey groaned and he looked at her questioningly. “I’m afraid I’ve made a bit of a mess of things around here.” she replied to his silent query sheepishly. “I keep accidentally destroying things, so they’re not exactly fond of me.” “So that’s why…” before he realized it, a laugh escaped his throat, rich and full. He threw his head back, shaking with laughter. Rey was staring at him like he’d grown an extra head but he couldn’t stop. Tears of mirth rolled down his cheeks. “So you are human after all.” He straightened, smiling. He turned the full force of it on her, and she seemed to be stunned all over again. Their connection flared and he glimpsed her thoughts. He made her knees weak? He’d have to smile for her more often, he noted. He’d never thought about seducing anyone, or whether he’d had an effect on anyone in that way. When would there have been a moment? His life had not allowed for this. But now, with Rey, the possibilities seemed endless. All things in time, he told himself. Hand in hand, they walked to their hut.

Once inside, they sat down their belongings. Rey began the process of starting a fire. She did look tired, he realized. “Let me do that for you.” he volunteered. With a gesture of his hand, the wood in the fire pit ignited, flames burning brightly. Rey was staring at it in amazement. “How did you do that?” “Don’t worry, I’ll show you. But not tonight. You need rest.” Her stomach grumbled loudly at him. “And food.” At this pronouncement he felt his own hunger. A knock on the door caused him to turn around. It was the caretakers again, with a tray of steaming fish and vegetables, and some kind of green liquid in a bottle. He took it from their hands, thanking them for their good timing in their language. They nodded with approval and plodded off into the night, talking softly to one another. He closed the door and set the food down beside her. “Let’s eat.” he said, gesturing to the food, reaching for some of the fish. Rey snatched a potato from the tray and horked it in a parsec. He stared in alarm, watching her decimate half the tray in what seemed like the blink of an eye. He’d barely started on his fish! Rey stopped, sensing his eyes on her. She looked at him, cheeks stuffed. The sight of her bulging cheeks made him chuckle yet again. She laughed through her mouth full of food with him. She gulped it down. “I know, I eat like a pig. That’s twice you’ve laughed in a day. I fear you’re absolutely ruined to be Supreme Leader now.” He grinned at her before his thoughts cast a shadow over the moment. He would have to go back to the First Order at some point. His ‘vacation’ was not an endless one. He realized how different he felt with Rey. How light his soul felt. As though he could unburden himself. How he was supposed to go back and take on the weight of restoring order to the galaxy was beyond him at this point. Duty bound him with tight chains, this was only a temporary reprieve. He vowed though, resolution filling him, that between now and his return, that it would not be without Rey. The force seemed to affirm this, perhaps a premonition of things to come. He would never let her escape him again. Rey yawned, stretching her arms over her head. “Get some sleep Rey.” She nodded, and rose to plod over to the bed. She gently removed the cloak around her shoulders and folded it, setting it at the foot of the mattress. Then came the flight jacket, tossed a little more haphazardly. He watched her as she took her hair down, entranced. She kicked off her boots too. “Uhm Ben, could you..turn around please?” She was blushing. He complied silently, the sound of clothes being removed making him sweat. He heard some rustling of fabric. “Okay. It’s alright now.” she called to him. He turned back around and stared. She was only in her tunic, which fell just above her knees. Her loose hair clung to her shoulders. He drank her in with his eyes, heart pounding. She sat on the edge of the bed, looking irresistible. He wanted to press her into that mattress with every fiber of his being, and take her right now. 

Instead, he cleared his throat. “Is there anything I can do for you before you sleep?” he offered.  
The bond quivered with nervousness. From both of them he realized. “I uhm..” he rose and went to her side. “You what, Rey.” he sat next to her. “There’s something I’ve always wanted but never had the chance to experience.” she mumbled, not looking at him. “Will you..will you hold me tonight?” The vulnerability and need in her washed into him. “Would that make you happy?” he asked. “Yes.” the whispered reply came. He saw in her mind, flashes of a lonely childhood, cradling herself at night, weeping, as she tried to find sleep in her AT-AT. He felt her pain and loneliness as though it was his own. He knew that ache too. “Alright, get in bed.” She scooted back into the mattress and got under the covers, settling in with a smile. He stood up and removed his shoes and belt, setting them by Luke’s cloak. Then he removed his tunic. He felt her shock and something else he couldn’t quite name as he stood over her. Kylo Ren had never felt self conscious about his body. He recalled the first time she’d seen him shirtless and she’d been quite frazzled then. Her outward composure was better this time around, but the connection betrayed her true emotion. He took a moment to enjoy her eyes wandering over his chest and arms before climbing into bed with her. He noted with some surprise that the bed was big enough for both of them, though his feet stuck off the edge just a bit. With flushed cheeks Rey rolled over to face the wall as he settled in beside her. A thousand ideas came to mind as he leaned over her form, but he knew that acting on any of them could ruin the trust they were building in each other. He would claim her, in time. She would be his. Her body trembled beneath the quilt, but she reached out to drape his arm around her waist. He barely dared to breathe. She wriggled herself further against him, and his groin began to ache at the sudden contact. He closed his eyes and did a breathing exercise. He had the discipline to get through anything, he reminded himself. He sensed her contentment through the bond. “Goodnight.” she called to him in a sweet drowsy voice. “Goodnight Rey.” he choked out, wondering if he’d get any sleep at all. Surprisingly though, rest came on quiet wings. For once, he slept without dreaming, his heart beating in unison with Rey’s as they dozed through the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew what a ride! These two cannot resist fighting with each other! I loved writing this chapter, especially portraying Kylo Ren (or is it Ben Solo now??) as someone capable of positive emotion. I don't have the desire to erase the darkness within him, however I enjoyed writing what I imagined Rey could evoke in him under the right circumstances. Please stay tuned as I begin drafting the next installment. Feel free to leave kudos or comments to help me along! :D


	5. Burn On Bright Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Rey gives in, Kylo/Ben's shows more of his softer side, and there will be blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is written entirely from Rey's POV. I think the next chapter will be entirely from Kylo/Ben's POV. More abuse and liberty taking occurs in this chapter with the canonical topic of Kyber Crystals. I was really trying my hardest to make you wait before things got hot and heavy between these two, but the story took on a life of it's own, I swear! XD But have no fear, we're barely getting started!

Rey woke the next morning with a yawn. She blinked groggily before the warm presence beside her registered in her brain. Very carefully, she turned over to stare at him. And swallowed as she realized the blankets had slid down to his waist, leaving his upper torso bared to her gaze. Kriff he’s huge, she thought to herself. Kylo Ren was in her bed, shirtless. She still couldn’t quite believe it. No, she thought, he is Ben. I will never call him that name again, she resolved. He might not be ready to decide who he was, but her mind was made up, she would bring him back to the light, and help him let go of that name. Last night she’d been so nervous she’d thought her heart was going to explode when she’d asked him to hold her. She was in need of the comfort his touch had brought her though, after the upheaval of the day they’d shared together. Rey’s gaze fell over his sleeping form, staring at a myriad of scars old and new. Including her own. She finally knew just how far down the damage from their first fight extended. Her fingers ached to trace it. She blew out a shaky breath and brought her eyes to his face. He looked so young, when his eyes were closed. As though the cares he had were taken away in sleep. She wondered what he dreamed of. His dark hair fell in a wash of inky softness across his forehead, and she could not resist reaching out to brush it away. His eyes flew open and Rey blushed, feeling as though she’d been caught doing something very wrong. “I uh, I..good morning.” she stuttered. “Good morning.” he replied, gazing at her with an expression she couldn’t define. He threw an arm over her waist and drew her body into his without another word. His hand slid down the small of her back, pressing her against him and Rey gasped, feeling something flare to life inside of her at the intimate position. She tried to calm her mind, after all, she’d been held like this only yesterday. Yes, her inner self replied, but yesterday you weren’t in a bed, with him half clothed. She waited to see what he would do next, but he seemed content to simply hold her against him. “I’ll let you escape in a minute.” he teased, sensing her uncertainty. She sighed and snuggled her face into his chest, taking advantage of the feeling of calm that seemed to give her.

“Are you hungry?” his voice brought her out of her reverie. She smiled. “Always.” she replied. “In that case, I’ll see if any of the caretakers are up, and check what’s available in the way of breakfast.” he said. He unwrapped himself from her and sat up, stretching his broad muscular shoulders and arms. Rey took the opportunity to give him a study. She had the feeling he’d done that for her benefit, and she blushed again. He stood and shrugged on his clothes, then his boots, belt, and clipped on his light saber. “I’ll be back Rey.” he said, looking at her softly. She nodded shyly and he left the hut. She took the opportunity to jump out of bed and rush to the shower. She wanted to be out and dressed by the time he returned. But what would he do, a lustful voice whispered inside her, if she were to say, let him walk in just as she was drying off? Rey shook her head. Kriff, what was wrong with her? She’d never had this reaction to any man before. She’d never been interested in the idea of being with a man either. The examples of how men treated women on Jakku were a prime reason for that. And then Ben had come barreling into her life like a crashing ship from space, making her body awaken in ways she’d never even imagined. When he’d kissed her, she’d felt like stars were exploding behind her eyes. Every time they made contact, her body burned and she had no idea how to handle it. Between her legs, she felt a heat, a throbbing. A need. She gritted her teeth and turned the handle to let cold water douse her into shock. There was no time for this. She hastily washed and dressed into new clothes, feeling better the instant she was covered by clean garments. Today she’d chosen some of her old light colored clothing from Jakku. The cream colored dress tunic and leggings were comfortable. The tunic hung long, divided into strips allowing her legs freedom of movement. She tied a sash at her waist before adding her belt over it. She put her arm wraps on as well for good measure. Luke’s cloak could wait until she headed out the door, she decided. She’d need to let her hair dry before doing something with it, but at least she was dressed for the day. 

The door opened, and the epicenter of her whirling thoughts came through it with a tray of fruits. Rey couldn’t help but be grateful that he was the one carrying it today. She didn’t know when she’d have the nerve to look the poor caretakers in the eye again. Rey took him in, appreciating just how good he looked in the morning light before giving her head a shake. He set the tray down on the floor and gestured for her to join him. She did so, catching the fruit he tossed her way. They ate silently, Rey not quite awake enough for conversation. She found herself wishing they could return to the bed and take a nap, before she blushed. “Something on your mind?” his smug voice called out to her. “Nothing.” She felt the push of him through the bond and she threw a fruit back at him, which he caught as though it were nothing. “It’s too early for your bad manners.” she shot at him. “Oh, I could do worse.” he warned. The dangerous tone of his voice made her look to him. His face was a mask. But the bond conveyed that he meant her no harm. He was such a confusing person, she mused, gobbling another piece of fruit before standing up. She walked to the bag of her belongings on the table to look for something to tie her hair up. She rummaged through it absently, fumbling with her fingers. “Ow!” she cried, having felt something slice her finger. She pulled it out of the bag. Instantly he was next to her. “What is it? Are you okay?” “I’m fine, I just cut myself on my Kyber Crystals looking for my hair ties. Kriff, I got blood on them-wait..” Rey stared at her crystals, and as she watched her blood seemed to absorb into them. They flared with a soft gray light before returning to their opaque state “How strange.” she breathed. “Rey, where did you get these? The cave?” “Yes, on the first day I came back to the island. They..they were calling to me.” He crossed his arms. “I see. Well, you’ve technically just bled your Kybers. Unusual for you to have two choose you, or for this to have happened but then I should know at this point nothing ever goes as planned when it comes to you.” She rolled her eyes at him. “What do you mean about..bleeding my crystals?” “This is something that dark sided users of the force do, to bend the crystal to their will. Kyber Crystals are naturally aligned with the light, so a dark force user will pour their hatred, their pain into the Kyber Crystals, it turns their crystals red.” Rey stammered in horror. “But I..no..I didn’t..I mean, no, I couldn’t have.” He grasped the hand that had been cut, examining it. “I didn’t mean to scare you Rey, but for what it’s worth I don’t think you’re going to turn into a Sith Lord, if it makes you feel any better. This is an unusual occurrence to be sure, but this doesn’t make you a dark sider. Besides..the colors haven’t changed.” “Did you bleed your crystals?” He nodded, not looking at her. Instead, his eyes were locked on her bleeding fingers. He took her hand in his, studying her injury with an intense gaze.

He raised them slowly to his face. “Ben..what are you doing?” Rey asked, feeling frightened. She could feel something dark stirring on his side of the bond, as their connection flared to life. Power danced around him, and over her, tempting, whispering things she couldn’t quite hear.  
She felt frozen on the spot, almost as though she’d been in his force grip again. She watched as he brought her fingers to his lips, pressing them against his generous mouth. When he lowered her hand she saw her blood on his lips. She felt a twinge in her core at the sight of it, her own energy stirring to once more mingle with his along the bond. She realized she wanted to kiss him, even with her blood on his mouth. The sight of it repelled and lured her in all at the same time. She was frightened and fascinated. Her mouth was dry. She clenched her jaw and turned her gaze away. “Why do you deny yourself?” he asked. “You’re not a Jedi. You don’t have to live by their precepts.” He slid his arm around her waist and her breath hitched. “I can feel the hunger in you. Embrace it. You’re more powerful than you give yourself credit for. I have wanted for so long to show you your potential in the force.” his words spoke of one thing, but his body told another tale. His hand was sliding down the fabric of her tunic. “Rey. You want something from me. Take it. I won’t stop you.” She looked up into his eyes and turned her body into his grasp. The edge of the table pressed into her back as she moved into his space, facing him. Their energies swirled around them, coalescing. The air in the hut felt thick with it. “I do..want..” she could feel his body quivering with excitement, she watched the hunger swim in his eyes, felt his hand sliding down to her hip, pulling her gently but insistently against him. “Show me.” he said hotly. Rey shuddered, and threw all common sense out the window once more, reaching up to pull his head lower, to place her aching mouth on his. 

It was pure bliss. His lips felt like everything she’d imagined and more. Soft, warm, hungry. She threaded her fingers through his hair, finally able to enjoy the fullness of it in both hands. She explored his mouth with her own, her kisses becoming slower, deliberate. She paused, hovering at his bottom lip then ran her tongue across it, tasting her blood. The taste of it awoke something primal in her and she tightened her grip on his hair, pulling to bring him closer to her. She felt energy pouring into her, his energy, but she couldn’t find it in her to stop. She felt as though she were melting into him, drowning. She gripped the back of his hair and pulled his head back, to expose his neck to her. He hissed, but made no move to stop her. His hand had remained at her hip, his other at his side. His eyes fluttered, and she felt the pleasure crashing through him, through her. She realized that he was giving her complete control. Letting her take the lead, letting her decide how far to go. She stared at the long line of his neck, up to the face of the man who had haunted her dreams for so long. She pressed her face into his throat and closed her eyes, taking in the scent of his skin. She could feel his pulse fluttering in his neck, and instinctively she placed a light kiss against it. The noise that came from him was all the motivation she needed to continue, making a trail of soft touches with her mouth going up, as she lowered his face back to hers, her grip becoming gentle in his hair again. She considered his mouth again, but instead continued her kisses, reverently up the line of the scar she’d given, stopping at his brow. You’re mine, and you have been since the day I marked you, she thought. It had come out of nowhere but it was a truth all the same. He tensed against her and she realized he’d heard the thought. She could hear his breathing, shallow, frantic. She stepped back from his neck, suddenly unsure. “I’m sorry, I..lost control of myself.” she whispered, her eyes lowering from his. 

“Don’t you dare apologize for this.” he said, and before she could even think of a response, his lips crushed hers. He moved to grip her waist with both hands, setting her on the table, pushing her legs apart as he pressed against her. His groin made contact with hers and she sighed into his mouth at the sensation. She was drowning, she was sure of it. There was nothing but the taste and feel of him and she could not stop the need building deep within her. He continued his assault on her senses with his lips, his body, and oh how she ached for him. For something..she didn’t know what. Some sort of release. “Ben..please..” she begged, her head falling back. He braced the back of her neck with his hand, and broke away from her mouth. She could feel his gaze on her but she was too light headed to feel self conscious at the expression on his face. She took the moment he gave her to breathe and center herself. He kept her supported with his arms while she tried to realign her senses. “Now I feel like I was the one who pushed too far.” he said hoarsely. “No, you didn’t. I..that was..that was..amazing. You’re so good at this. Have you ever-oh what am I saying of course you have. Women must have thrown themselves at your feet.” She felt him lift her chin up, and she met his gaze. “The only person I’ve ever kissed in this whole galaxy, or ever wanted to, was you Rey.” he told her seriously. “But if you don’t want to keep going, get off of this table or I’m afraid I won’t be able to help myself and we’ll never leave this place.” 

“Doesn’t seem like a bad way to spend a day.” she smiled, but extracted herself from his arms. She had plans to make it to the tree to retrieve the Jedi texts. She couldn’t be wasting time no matter how pleasurable the cause. The sooner she had a saber, the sooner she could be of use to the resistance. With that thought, guilt poured through her. Her friends were struggling to rebuild and find hope, and here she was in the arms of the leader of the First Order. But no..this was different. She knew she would bring Ben Solo back to the light, no matter what it took. He was her equal. Her match. She chose to trust in the Force. Peace and purpose washed over her as she recalled Leia’s words. She smiled and retrieved a hair tie from her bag, and began to put her hair up. “Allow me.” he intoned, taking the tie from her hand. He stood behind her and gathered her hair into his hands. Rey was shocked. This was somehow far more intimate than the kisses they’d shared, as she felt his hands weave her hair into a braid. “I have to go to my ship and speak with my knights. I’ll set up a meeting with them, and you.” She tensed. “Not here Rey. I will abide by your wishes on this. No one will touch this island but us. Will you trust me on this?” Rey thought for a long second while he continued to braid her hair. She had no reason to believe this could be a trap. She’d resolved to do whatever it took to bring him to the light. If this was a part of the path she had to travel to accomplish it, she had to believe in him. “Okay Ben.” “What are your plans for today?” he asked. “I have to retrieve some books.” “Books?” “Yes. You can meet me there if you like, after you’re done.” she replied. “As you wish.” He was finished braiding her hair, and she realized she quite liked the way he’d done it. “How do you even know how to do this?” she asked. “I used to braid my mother’s hair-when I was a boy.” he said roughly. “I have to go.” “Ben I didn’t mean to upset you.” she turned to look at him. His face was once again a blank slate, eyes guarded. “It’s nothing.” he said, letting some warmth come to his eyes. He placed a gentle kiss on her cheek before heading for the door. Before he stepped through it, she heard him in her mind. “Rey…you’re mine too.” Rey’s heart soared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it hot in here or is it just this chapter, sheesh! WHAT ARE ALL THESE FEELINGS?! ESTABLISHED SO EARLY ON AT THAT?! And what about our boy eh? He's being awfully...sweet. This can't last, can it? That moody man has a long way to go before he's reformed, that's for sure. So if you find yourself feeling suspicious about his lack of temper, don't worry, it will return, with a vengeance. Just enjoy the fluff while you can, because who knows how long they'll have on their island getaway to moon over one another? 
> 
> Comments and Kudos are welcome and wanted! Don't be shy, tell me what's on your mind ;) I don't know when I'll update again, my brain really doesn't seem to have the desire to set a schedule on this. I just boot up the old laptop and type away until I come back to earth several hours later. Till next time then dear readers!


	6. Prophecy and Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is entirely from Kylo's perspective. Hux is definitely up to no good, but the Knights of Ren have Kylo's back. Rey throws a temper tantrum, and they are paid a visit by a ghostly figure. 
> 
> Force Ghosts, Intropsection, General Hugs!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello readers, I'm finally back with chapter 6! I'm hoping that today (February 3rd) we will all be graced with the first trailer and title reveal of Star Wars Episode 9 TwT I'm sorry it took me so long, I really wrestled with the wording of this chapter but today I decided to stop being a perfectionist, accept that this is my first fic and it's okay if it's not a literary masterpiece. I hope you're enjoying it nonetheless.

Kylo Ren sat in the cock pit of his personal craft, flicking through messages on his holopad idly. Even though he’d only been gone for one day, the work still stacked up. He needed the distraction though, he had been this close to losing all of his self control with Rey. Kissing her was a high, an adrenaline rush he’d never achieved even in the heat of the hottest battle. He couldn’t have imagined just how perfect she’d feel in his arms when he first entertained fantasies of having her by his side. It was as if the universe had made them for each other. Not making love to her on the table this morning had been the hardest challenge of his life. He’d nearly run the entire distance back to his ship, sucking in oxygen to calm his body down. Now the monotony of the First Order was, for once, a welcome distraction. Settling disputes between members of the fleet, approving plans for a replacement to the Supremacy. These were tedious issues that left his body positively asleep, and his brain was in danger of following but he needed to focus on something besides Rey. He’d been brought up in the political arena, had plenty of occasion to observe first hand the machinations and subtle games members of the various factions played, squabbling amongst themselves. He’d admired his mother for her deft hand and skilled abilities to maneuver them to her will though. Even now, he’d give her the credit she deserved for being a master tactician. He found himself questioning why he’d been thinking of her. Rey, he mused. Braiding her hair like that had been an impulse. He had braided his mother’s hair, back when he was young, before he’d been sent away. As a child he worshipped the ground she walked on, as he did his father. With a grimace he exhaled. He had had a surprising lack of rage since reconnecting with Rey even when thinking of those topics. A thought that might have frightened him, if he hadn’t been so pleased with how he’d just been kissing her. And how she’d kissed him first. He’d felt the darkness whispering to him to seduce her, to take her then and there, but no. He might have given her a little…encouragement, he thought with a smirk, recalling how she seemed to be affected by the sound of his voice at times-but he knew this was something he’d never force her into, or trick her with using the force. No, he wanted a clean victory. It would taste all the sweeter when she willingly gave herself to him. But before then, he needed to figure out his next move. He sent a holo call through his ship’s system to Master Odain. It was time to trust his knights with everything. “Greetings Master Ren.” Odain’s voice came through somewhat staticly. Kylo suspected that it might have something to do with Ahch-To’s volatile weather system. “Master Odain, I will require your presence in three days time. Summon all the Knights of Ren. We have matters of great importance to discuss, I will meet you all on Mustafar.” “Yes Master Ren. You may count on us.”

He ended the call, and with a grimace, made a new one, to the ginger weasel who was probably even now, lounging in the Throne Room. He longed for the day Hux took his last breath. Preferably by his own hand, but a glorious day either way in his opinion. “Ahh Supreme Leader. So good to hear from you. How goes your mission? Chasing after dusty Jedi relics again? No matter. When can we expect the pleasure of your return to the flagship?” Kylo smirked. “Have no fear, general. I’ll be back before you know it. I’m traveling to my private quarters on Mustafar in 3 days time. From there I will update you. I expect to be kept informed of all decisions General, as usual. Oh, and Hux…keep my chair warm for me.” he swore he heard the general make a strangled noise of surprise as he’d ended the call. He grinned to himself before taking a glance at his other messages. He noticed one from Salander Ren, one of the knights left aboard to be his eyes and ears. What he read sent a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead. Hux, the devious dog, had tried to access his personal archives. He’d been caught trying to manipulate the biolock to Kylo Ren’s quarters. He’d nearly gotten away with circumventing the lock, with two Stormtroopers posted to give warning, but none of them expected Salander Ren, who merely force freezed the troopers and Hux. He then gleaned Hux’s true purpose with the force, combing Hux’s mind for the truth. Salander saw in Hux’s mind that he was trying to access the archives Kylo had stored from the Supremacy to his personal computer. The archives which showed him killing Snoke, and fighting back to back with Rey to take down the Praetorian Guard. In Hux’s hands, that would be a potential spark for a coup that gave the bastard the First Order and title of Supreme Leader. Salander Ren had wiped the General’s memory with the force of his encounter, then did the same for the troopers accompanying Hux, and sent them on their way. The three of them would not even recall that they’d tried to break into the Supreme Leader’s quarters in the first place, much less meeting Salander. Kylo blew out a harsh breath. One of Salander’s many talents which Kylo appreciated was his ability to manipulate other’s memories. Salander Ren was for all intents and purposes, a ghost-those who encountered him never remembered it unless he deemed otherwise. That made him the most valuable eyes and ears Kylo Ren could ever wish for. Kylo sent him a message of thanks, and assurance that they would speak of this when they gathered on Mustafar before setting his holopad down. Hux was growing a little bold in his absence, he thought. It probably wouldn’t be long before he tried to stage a coup, with the footage or not.

 

He sighed. Already he ached to return to Rey’s side. He wondered what these books were that she’d been seeking. He exited his Upsilon and shooed away some of the small strange birds he’d heard Rey call Porgs that had taken up residence in the underside of the ship. He found himself thinking they were almost cute, and palmed his forehead. Rey was obviously becoming a bad influence on him. He cursed under his breath half heartedly. How was he supposed to continue embracing the path of the Dark when her light was drowning him? He knew deep down that he could not let Rey fall to the dark either, because everything he had become enchanted by within her being would be gone, corrupted. Some part of him knew from the moment she’d joined him on the Supremacy that he could not let her go that way. That was not her path. But what of his path? He was now the Supreme Leader, still shrouded in darkness. The blood of his father and countless others stained his hands. How could he find redemption? He was unworthy of it, and yet being with Rey had in the space so little time given him something he couldn’t believe he was feeling-hope. Small, frail, but growing within him nonetheless. If he was to find his way towards some sort of redemption, he’d start with the things he knew he could change. Starting with Hux, he thought with a frown, letting instinct take him towards Rey. He knew he wasn’t perfect, but he was never needlessly cruel, either, just for the sake of reveling in suffering. All he’d done had been in service to Snoke, to the Dark. Hux on the other hand, was dangerously enthusiastic about torture. Kylo had heard about the “reconditioning programs” Hux had been implementing with the Storm Troopers who failed to be the perfect and compliant soldiers the First Order demanded after Finn’s defection. The odd thing though was that more than half of the Troopers who went in for reconditioning wound up dead, broken by the torture inflicted on their bodies and minds. Kylo realized he needed a better assessment of the alliances currently in place. Perhaps the Storm Troopers would take his side, if he were to intercede and end this practice. It would take more than that but it was a start at the least. He’d need to rely on his knights as well, to get a better of idea of where he stood in the eyes of the First Order. His thoughts carried him up rough steep terrain, but he navigated it easily. He trusted the bond to guide him back to Rey’s side. He sensed a growing agitation coming from her through the bond as he crested the hill to a charred and gnarled tree.

Rey stood with her back to him, her fists clenched at her sides. He wondered if she’d ever done that before, or if they were starting to mirror each other’s behaviors because of the deepening of their shared bond. “Rey?” he called out to her. “They’re gone, Ben. They’re all gone.” her voice was low but frustration and sadness carried through their connection. “The books?” “Yes the kriffing books! How can I continue?! How can I learn?! How will I fix Luke’s saber, or build my own?!” She kicked the ground in frustration, her anger beginning to swell noticeably. “Some Jedi I turned out to be! The Resistance is counting on me and I have NOTHING!” The hackles rose on Kylo’s neck. “Rey..” he began, and she turned to face him. Her eyes made him take a step back. “What is the POINT?!” she screamed at him. “What is the point of any of this!” “A question many have asked, young Rey.” a voice spoke behind Kylo. He turned, hand reaching for his light saber instinctively. He heard Rey’s gasp but was held on the spot by the sight of the diminutive creature with protruding ears standing before him, surrounded by a blue glow. “You’re…Yoda?” he couldn’t believe it. He knew Force ghosts were real, but had never seen one, not even his own grandfather in all the years he’d called out for him. “THE Yoda?!” Rey’s shocked question echoed his own. The creature chuckled. “Heard of me you have then? Then trust you should Rey, and you Ben Solo, in what I am about to say.” Kylo was still so stunned he couldn’t even find the ability to tell Yoda not to call him by the name he’d forsaken. “Rey. These books you need not. Despair you should not. So much power within you, and yet you do not see that all that you need is before your eyes. Knowledge yes, a teacher, and more.” Yoda’s eyes flicked to Kylo’s and held them with an intense gaze. “Ben Solo, it is you that must guide Rey. Teach her, both Dark and Light she must learn. Balance you must both achieve.” Kylo frowned. “How can I find balance, I’ve given my soul to the Dark. I have..taken life.” Yoda rolled his eyes, or at least that was how it appeared to Kylo. “Think you are too far gone to turn back? Wrong! Your grandfather did it, and so shall you. But not to the Light Ben Solo. Gray you must both be. The failings of the Jedi, and the Sith were in believing in the totality of one side or the other.” His gaze moved to Rey once more. 

“Hear me now young Rey. You have helped Ben Solo take his first steps, and he will help you take yours. Do not fear the Dark. Trust that you will find the balance.” “But..I..” she stuttered. Yoda raised a finger and she fell silent. “Listen now, both of you must. Without each other, you will fall, you will pass from this life in darkness. The bond you share is beyond what either of you realize. Live, neither of you can if one should die. Balance cannot be achieved without complete trust in one another. The Force will only be balanced when the two are one.” His glow began to fade, Kylo realized Yoda was about to disappear. “Wait. My grandfather-Does he know I’ve tried to reach him?” Yoda gave Kylo Ren an appraising smile. “Tried, Annakin Skywalker has for many years to reach you, Ben Solo. Snoke’s grip on your heart and mind made this impossible. Perhaps soon, you will meet him. Remember, trust each other. Trust the Force. Your journey truly begins today.” Yoda faded, returned back to the Force. Kylo turned back to Rey with an incredulous stare. “I can’t believe that just happened.” he walked towards her. Rey stared at him silently. “Are you okay?” Rey shook her head. “Did you hear what he said, about us?” Kylo’s heart skipped a beat at the word ‘us’. “Yes..he said I should teach-“ “No Ben. If one of us dies…the other does too.” Her eyes were wide with fright. He gathered her in his arms. “Rey, I will never let anything happen to you. Never.” he uttered softly. “I will do everything I can to help you. I can help you build a saber.” She looked up at him, her face unreadable. “And Luke’s?” To his credit he didn’t grimace at his uncle’s name though he knew she probably felt his discomfort. “Yes. But you need to construct your saber first.” He could see she was about to protest. “Rey, conflict is coming. I feel it. I am not sure how much time we will have to prepare, which makes constructing your saber a vital matter. I will not allow you to be weaponless. This is not up for negotiation!” Immediately he regretted his harsh words. “I, I’m sorry. That’s not how I intended to say that.” To his shock he felt amusement through the bond. “Anything you say, Supreme Leader.” she teased, letting him feel through the bond that she understood. He smirked down at her, a million thoughts coming to mind. “Anything?” he leered at her, recalling their morning. Her blush was all the reward he needed, even if she did punch him in the stomach. Thunder rumbled overhead. The rain would not be far behind, he could tell. “We should head back. I’ll fill you in on some things you need to know along the way.” 

 

“What sort of place is Mustafar?” Rey asked, perched on the bed, staring at him with curiosity. “Mustafar is a lava planet in the Outer Rim. The castle I use as one of my private dwellings belonged to my grandfather. It’s hot, incredibly hot, but the castle is well insulated and kept cool. My knights will meet with me there in three days time.” He ran a hand through his hair, feeling nervous. “The force can be unpredictable there. I suppose you could say the imprint of the bad things that happened there have the ability to affect your mood, if you are unprepared. That’s another thing I need to help you with, your mental shields.” He closed his eyes. There was so much she needed to learn, and she could have been much further in her training if his uncle hadn’t been so scared of her power, he thought. “You should be fine as long as you stay in the castle. I doubt you’d find the atmosphere as pleasant as this planet’s.” he said wryly. “In the mean time, let’s get started on your saber. Here. I brought this with me. It was one of the other reasons I went to my ship this morning.” He pulled a set of manuscripts from the pocket lining the inside of the of his cloak and handed them to her. “These are copies of different diagrams for building your saber. This one however, is something I designed with you in mind this morning.” He pointed to a diagram he’d drawn for a dual bladed staff, with the option to detach the staff in the center, turning them into dual sabers. “You made this for me?” she whispered. Kylo shrugged. “It seems more your style. You don’t have to use it.” Rey smiled up at him. “It’s perfect Ben. You keep on surprising me.” He noted that she had not once referred to him as Kylo since he’d told her it was okay to call him Ben. The smile she’d given coupled with her response made him not care. But when they were on Mustafar, when he introduced her to his Knights? They’d lose their kriffing minds to hear anyone call him by the name he’d renounced. “One other thing. When you meet the Knights of Ren, my birth name is not to be spoken. I made that taboo long ago. You don’t have to call me Kylo. But you can’t call me Ben either. I have a standard to uphold.” he felt dumb saying it. He waited for Rey to blow up in anger on him. Again she surprised him with teasing. “Oh absolutely Supreme Leader! Anything you say!” She mockingly saluted him and rolled her eyes. “Has anyone ever told you you are very sarcastic?” he muttered, crossing his arms. “My apologies Supreme Leader!” She Should I curtsy or bow for your men? I’m just a simple girl from Jakku, I’d hate to let my lack of breeding ruin the moment.” she feigned an exaggerated look of adoration at him and he couldn’t help it. He threw his head back and laughed. “I like it when you laugh.” Rey said to him. He gave her a gentle smile. “It’s been a long time for me. But ever since Snoke’s death I feel different somehow. Some of it is that his influence and manipulation died with him. Some of it I think, is you. When I was facing down Luke, my rage was crumbling. I kept seeing your face. Your eyes. When you left with the Resistance, I felt incomplete. All I could think of was you, and hoping that the force would connect us. I haven’t been able to focus on my leadership, which is dangerous as I know that Hux is plotting to overthrow me.” Rey frowned. “Hux. Why do I know that name..ohhhh, did you know that Poe Dameron called him General Hugs?” Kylo chuckled. “I almost regret torturing him now. Yes. That Hux. He was responsible for the extinction of Hosnian Prime.” his smile was gone at that recollection. “I felt them all Rey. All the souls crying out in the Force. You thought I was a monster, but Hux makes me look like an innocent.” Rey stood up and took his face in her hands, standing on her tip toes to kiss him softly. “You’re becoming more balanced. I still feel the dark in you Ben..but I also feel the light. More than ever.” She kissed him again before standing back on the balls of her feet. “As for Hux, we’ll take him down. Together.” She stared off into the distance, and again Kylo felt a faint sense of the Dark rising in her. “Your life is not his to take, Ben Solo.” She stared back at him, hot eyes trailing his scar. He was surprised by the possessive tone of her voice, and more than a little aroused by it. “And what will your friends in the Resistance think?” he teased. “That’ I’ve lost my mind, most likely.” she said. “Nobody knows I’m here except..” her voice trailed off but he caught the thought. “Except my mother.” She nodded. “She still has hope, Ben.” she said softly. He sighed.”Let’s just..focus on one thing at a time. Starting with your training.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. Well well well well well. Wasn't that an interesting visit? A lot to take in from old Yoda for our two favorite people. I also enjoyed introducing Salander Ren. I definitely imagine this knight as a master of espionage and a bad ass at tech and memory manipulation. Which led me to dub them with the honorific first name Salander, that happens to be the last name of one of my favorite fictional bad ass characters, Lizbeth Salander. ^_^ Stay tuned for the next installment, coming soon! Comments and kudos are much appreciated <3


	7. Ties That Bind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben leave for Mustafar, finally. Boundaries are set, and Ben gets a heart to heart with an unexpected visitor. Rey builds her light saber, with some concerns along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I'm sorry for the long wait, truly! I've been sick XD but now I'm on the mend and ready to publish this chapter for you. Thank you for your patience!

“Again.” Rey was exhausted. They’d been practicing forms and footwork all night since dinner. BB8 had wisely rolled to a corner of the hut to stay out of the way and had fallen asleep, ignoring their sparring. Rey felt the smallness of the hut with every step, but there was no help for it. Space was limited as it was to begin with, and more so while he trained her in close quarter hand to hand combat with their bond shielded. “Rey! Concentrate!” Rey shook her head. “Sorry.” She took up a defensive stance, watching for his first move. He was so fast. So incredibly fast. Rey was frustrated, because it was all she could do to get in a punch or a kick. He was a well seasoned warrior, so this was child's play to him. “Use the force Rey, use it to see, not your eyes, not the bond. Let it tell you where the next blow will fall. Open yourself up to it. If you can land a blow this time I’ll call it a night.” With a nod she closed her eyes and reached out. She felt everything, heard everything as the force poured over her. The storm raging outside, the crackling heat of the fire pit. And through the bond she felt him. She could see his essence, with her eyes closed. He was a dark cloud, tendrils of ink reaching out to circle her. The air stirred around her, she felt a breath on the back of her neck, as he stepped around her. Her first instinct was to strike out, but she waited, trusting the force to let her know when the time was right. “Good.” was all he gave her by way of encouragement. She heard his left foot slide back across the stone. It was a move she was familiar with, recalling their fight on Star Killer base. Wait for it, she told herself. The air shifted as he made his move, and she turned into his attack, ducking the reach of his arms and in what felt like poetic justice, swept her leg out to catch him. Her leg struck home and she opened her eyes with a satisfied feeling, to the sight of him splayed out on his back. Just as he’d done to her only yesterday. She wasn’t sure what his reaction would be, but he looked up at her with the proud gaze of a teacher, which made her feel pleased. She reached a hand out to help him up. He took it, and instead of drawing himself up, pulled her down. She was so surprised that she toppled onto him with a grunt. “BEN! What the-“ he grabbed her by the waist with a grin and rolled her over gently to her back. “Never help an enemy up. You can’t trust their intentions.” Rey froze, as their shields came crashing down. She felt him suddenly, and she knew he could feel her, her emotions. His breath was warm on her face as he leaned over her. He shifted, propping himself up on his elbows so as not to put his full weight on her. she couldn’t help the quiet squeak that escaped her throat. A wave of heat traveled from her groin to her chest and she knew she was blushing, knew he could feel it, and her heart stuttered. “I don’t think this is how enemies fight.” she said hoarsely. Amusement came through the bond, along with the same delicious sensation of arousal he’d poured over her earlier that day. She studied his face, the way his hair fell into his face. She longed to reach up and touch it and he must have sensed it because he smiled down at her. It devastated her all over again. Her heart ached, thinking of how little he’d probably smiled in his life. “Don’t Rey. Don’t be sad for me. I’m not worth your tears.” Still, he kept smiling, his face softening the tone of his voice. “You’re so good..your heart is so good.” he breathed, and pressed his head into her neck. Rey felt his tongue sweep the line of her jaw, he was tasting her sweat. 

She was sure that she was nothing but a ball of sensitive nerves at this point. When she felt his tongue she instinctively tried to lift off the floor, to press herself against him, but her legs were pinned. She felt as though she was crawling out of her skin at the sheer amount of need emanating from her, and pouring over her body and mind from him. “I can see inside your mind Rey. I feel your desire.” he breathed against her neck. “What are you holding on for? I want you just as much.” Hot tears fell down her cheeks, she was overwhelmed. All her life she’d wanted connection, belonging, family, friends. The Force had given her some of that, but split down lines she didn’t know how to merge. He was supposed to be her enemy. He’d called her nothing, a nobody. Even now the words stung, because she was a nobody. Just an orphan from a giant desert. He was everything. Everything. Her traitorous heart had told her the truth of her emotions the moment she’d left him in the throne room. They’d told her, reminded her of the missing piece in her mind, in her heart every night she’d spent since Crait. A sob ripped through her, escaping her chest. “No don’t cry. Please Rey.” He sat up, and gathered her into his arms. “I shouldn’t have done this. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pressured you.” She shook her head. “It’s not..it’s not that. I just..I never thought I could feel so much, all at once. I’ve only ever known a survivor’s life. The way you look at me, the way you touch me..I don’t know how to handle it. I never imagined..being wanted.” She closed her mind to him, but left the bond open, lest any of the thoughts she’d just been thinking escape to him. She snuggled into him, trying to let him know that she was not rejecting him or his presence. A push of comfort came from him through the bond. “I understand that much at least.” he sighed. “Kriff. I’m sorry Rey. I just..l wanted to make you feel good. To show you how you make me feel.” Rey looked up into his eyes. “How do I make you feel, Ben? Is this all that you want from me?” His eyes seemed to glow as he looked at her. “If your body was all I wanted from you, I would have already had you. I’m not like those baseless heathens you’ve known on Jakku. I will never force you Rey. Never.” “But..that’s not an answer-“ He frowned at her. “Rey, you’re mine. Not an object. Not a possession. But you are mine. Please I don’t know how else to say it. I’m not used to..talking like this.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I’ll make you a promise. I won’t do this again, I won’t kiss you again, until you’re ready. Until you tell me to. Okay?” Rey exhaled softly. “Okay.” He stood up and gently lifted her to her feet. “I’m going to sleep on my cruiser tonight.” “NO!” she shouted before she could stop herself. His eyes widened. “Don’t..don’t go. Stay.” she pleaded with him.  
“Okay.” he said softly. “We should get some sleep. We leave for Mustafar tomorrow. It will take us two days to get there.” She tensed at the thought of meeting his knights, but it was smoothed away with another push of reassurance through the bond. “It will be alright, Rey. You’ll see.” 

They awoke the next morning to sunlight and calm. Rey stirred lazily, feeling the heat of Ben sleeping next to her. He’d tried to argue further with her that he wanted to sleep on the floor, but she beat him down with the fact that neither of them would be able to sleep apart, even inches away from each other. He’d caved with a resigned sigh but she could feel his contentment when he cautiously held her against him. They’d drifted off without a word, lost in the comfort of one another’s presence. Rey watched him, watched the rise and fall of his chest and realized that she didn’t know if she could stand to wake up alone ever again after this. “Ben.” she said softly. His eyes flew open. “Hey.” he mumbled, looking dazed. “It’s time to get up.” she smiled at him. “We’ve got a planet to get to.” He returned her smile with a grin of his own before sitting up to swing his legs over the bed. Rey followed, if reluctantly. She’d never slept as well as she had the past two nights they’d shared. They had a quick breakfast and packed up their belongings efficiently. As they left the hut, Rey turned back to stare at it with fondness. She hoped that they could come back here again. A hand squeezed her shoulder, and she turned to smile up at Ben before they set out for his ship, him walking ahead of her with long sure strides. The caretakers had come out to see them off, surprisingly, with food for them to take on the journey. “I’m sure they’re glad to see me go for a while, at least.” Rey chuckled aloud. She couldn’t see his face but she felt Ben’s amusement through the bond. “No doubt.” was his reply. BB8 beeped sassily at her side and Rey rolled her eyes at the little droid. “First of all, it was an accident. Secondly, it was an accident!” BB8 emitted a noise that almost sounded like a laugh. She patted it’s head softly. “No hiding the truth from you at least, I’m a walking disaster here.” The Upsilon cruiser loomed ahead of them, but Rey’s glance strayed to the Falcon. Hopefully the Porgs wouldn’t overrun it before she could return. She felt his gaze follow hers, and a jumble of emotions spilled over her, his emotions. She chose not to say anything and raised a shield between them, to give him privacy. “Thank you.” he said quietly. “You’d do the same for me.” “I’m not so sure I would. I find myself wanting to know what you’re thinking and feeling every second. It was so hard not to reach out to you after Crait, but somehow I did it. Now though..” he sighed. “I’d try Rey. I’m relearning manners and human interaction all over again. When Snoke was my master, consideration for others was not something I thought of. I was so far gone.” “No one is ever truly gone, Ben.” she told him. BB8 beeped softly, in agreement. They walked on, and the ramp to his cruiser opened. Rey hesitated for just a second, something compelling her to look back at the island. In the distance, she saw the blue glow of Yoda’s small form, his hand extended in a wave. She smiled and returned it, before boarding the ship.

Ben sat in the pilot’s seat, and began prepping for take off. He tried to sort through his thoughts while Rey respectfully maintained a gentle wall between them for his benefit. It was soothing to him to go through the sequences, to be in control of something. Flying was a solace for him, one of the few moments when he felt free. Rey was beside him in the copilot’s chair, which struck him as the most natural and wonderful thing in the world. He felt her concern, and her excitement, probably at the idea that she’d be seeing another world. Beyond that he didn’t press, especially since she was being so gracious about his current turmoil. The engines of the Upsilon roared to life and the thrusters hissed, prepared for take off. He silently guided the ship up and out of the outer atmosphere, completely focused, his emotions pushed aside for the time being. Once they were in space, he disengaged the controls to auto pilot before glancing over at Rey. She was sitting with her knees drawn up to her chin, staring at the stars. She must have sensed his gaze and turned her eyes on him. She was the first to speak. “So…two days till Mustafar you say?” “Yes.” “What will we do for two whole days in space?” His breath caught at her innocent question, fist clenched. Surely the universe had found the most delicious, exacting punishment for all his crimes, by creating Rey to tempt and torment him. He cursed his body for its unending need to possess her, glad for the shield between them so she would not pick up on his thoughts. “You mean, what will you be doing.” he replied, emphasizing the ‘you’. “Come with me. I need to show you around the ship.” The Upsilon was not as small as other personal ships out there, and would be considered luxurious almost, in it’s size and accommodations if not for the austere design of it. Sterile and maintained neatly. Still, it was his, and suited his needs. He gave her the guided tour and couldn’t help but smile at her delight when he showed her how to make Caf -which she declared was the most amazing thing she’d ever tasted. It was a reminder of the sad life she’d endured, and he swore to himself he’d show her everything she’d ever missed out on, especially, the food he thought with an internal grin. They entered his quarters and he went to a set of cabinets on the wall. “This is what I needed to really show you. I am setting you your first and most critical task.” He rifled through the cabinets, pulling out tools and materials before setting them on his bed. “It’s time Rey. It’s time for you to create your own light saber.” He heard her gasp. “Ben, are you sure I’m ready do this?” “I have every confidence in you. Do not underestimate yourself. Your mind.” “But..” her voice trailed off and he walked towards her. “But what?” “What if..my saber..what if it’s red?” Her eyes were filled with fright. An image escaped from her mind to his, the horrified stares of her friends from the Resistance as she stood in front of them bathed in the glow of red light. He understood. “Then it’s red, Rey. But I will never turn my back on you. I won’t leave you. I can’t speak for your…’friends’” he grimaced before continuing “But if they’re the good people you truly believe them to be, then they won’t be afraid of you. They will understand.” She nodded wordlessly. He reached out to take her hand and squeezed it in what he hoped was a reassuring fashion. “Clear your mind Rey. This can take days. You’ll need to be absolutely focused on this task. You must give this everything you have. And I will guard you while you do so. This is the safest place you could be in to do this. Set your worries aside and accept what the Force gives you to create.”

He’d left her in his quarters, cross legged with all her materials set out before her. He’d left her water and some ration packs in case she needed them. He knew that she would be in a deep state of focus, and he found himself almost grateful, he needed time to cool his thoughts and constant passion for her. He sprawled carelessly in the pilot’s chair with his holopad and a mug of Caf as the cruiser hurtled through space towards Mustafar. The requests for meetings and approvals distracted him for some time before he set the pad aside. He closed his eyes and reached out, following the glowing threads that connected him to Rey. He could feel her but couldn’t discern anything specific. He quietly retreated, not wanting to disturb her concentration with his presence, but felt reassured by the connection. It still took him aback, the depth of his need for her. Physically, emotionally, she had permeated him entirely, her light beginning to cast day upon the darkest parts of himself. All the broken, jagged edges. Her acceptance, her compassion terrified him in ways he could not define. He reflected upon the visit from Yoda, and the words the Jedi Master had imparted to them both. The weight of realization hit him, he was truly to be her teacher in the ways of the force. He would be responsible for her growth and well being. How would he begin her guidance into the dark though, when she was so terrified of the idea of it. She would hardly acknowledge that side of her soul, though when it rose within her his own darkness rushed to meet and entwine with it with eagerness. He had to find a way to show her that it wasn’t all horror and blood and fire. That there was a balance. Just as he knew he had to find a way back to the light. He sighed loudly, raking a hand through his hair. Perhaps some meditation of his own was in order, he mused. He moved to the floor and knelt, palms resting on his knees. With a deep breath to clear his thoughts, he closed his eyes and reached out to the force. He saw in his mind the vast web of threads that connected all things in the galaxy, the beams of light that gave off unique signatures. He let himself drift, with no particular purpose, content to simply exist with no feelings to deal with one way or the other. A sudden humming noise reached him, one of the lights seemed to be pulsing brighter than the others though he didn’t know it. He felt himself being drawn towards it, but he had no time to react, to feel anything as he seemed to be swallowed by light. When he woke, he was surrounded by desert. The suns were setting off in the distance. Confused he turned, and spotted a man with wavy brown hair, his face almost like his own, but more handsome. He wore black robes, and a faint scar trailed his face, much less severe though than Ben’s own. The smile he wore was gentle, with no malice that Ben could sense. “Hello grandson.” the man said. “Grandson?” “Yes. I’m Anakin Skywalker. This meeting has been long over due. I’ve been trying to speak with you for years, but I could not reach past Snoke’s hold on your heart.” Anakin grimaced. Ben stared at him with his mouth open before closing it. “I have so many questions..I called out to you for years. Could you not hear me?” Anakin gestured off in the distance. “Walk with me Ben. I like to walk when I need to think. I will try to answer your questions.” The two men set off together into the desert.

 

“Firstly, to address your question, you called for Darth Vader. Not me.” he held a hand up to Ben to keep him from interrupting. “Hear me out. Darth Vader is not who I rejoined the force as. The visions of Vader you had were fed by Snoke. Not me. I would never wish anyone to follow down the path of pain I made for myself. Do you know my last moments as Anakin Skywalker? They were filled with horror, and agony. I was so consumed by the dark side that I’d nearly killed the woman I loved and it didn’t even register. I nearly killed our children. That is not the legacy I want for you grandson. I feared for a moment that I’d see this curse happen again when Snoke ordered you to kill Rey. To see you about to cut down the woman you love was-“ he paused as Ben sputtered. “Love?!” Anakin quirked an eyebrow at his grandson. “I thought you were more in touch with your feelings grandson. Because it was certainly your love for her that altered an otherwise dark fate for you. Have you really not admitted it to yourself yet? I knew I loved Padme from the first time we met. We Skywalker men tend to be very….obsessed with our mates.” He chuckled wryly. Ben harumphed. “I’m unsure what my fate is now, grand father. All the things I thought I wanted, have become inconsequential. I’m supposed to be leading the galaxy now, but I’ve no desire for it. I don’t want to repeat the same mistakes the past powers have made. I do want a better galaxy, but I’m only just now starting to see it doesn’t have to be made with oppression. It’s Rey. She makes me think twice about everything. Her light is changing me. Sometimes, I think it’s going to burn me into ash.” Anakin threw an arm around Ben’s broad shoulders. It was a little funny, his grandfather was quite a bit shorter than him after all. “She is truly something special. Ben, the universe has given you an amazing gift in her. Don’t be afraid to take what she offers. I could not achieve it, but the two of you could truly restore peace. Together, in the gray. Work with one another. Be patient with her. Be more open with your feelings. And don’t wait forever to tell her you love her either.” “I..what if she doesn’t love me back.” Anakin chuckled. “Oh Ben. Yoda and I have been laughing over you two, because it’s so glaringly obvious that both of you love each other to everyone but the two of you.” Ben flushed. “That may be, but..” “No buts. You’ll know when it’s the right time to say it. She’ll say it back. Now, I have to send you back, you’ve been meditating for hours now, but hear me out kid. You’ve got some trials up ahead. Trust each other. Protect each other. And think about reaching out to your mother.” He nudged him with an elbow. “She loves you still.” Ben only nodded, unsure what to say to that. “Will I see you again?” Anakin smiled up at him. “You will. I’ll always be with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I went there with the force ghost visitation again. I floundered a bit with the idea of writing about Rey constructing her saber, but decided in the end that it would be better to write it out as you've just read it. So in this chapter Ben has to admit that he's in deep, and Rey struggles with the conflict in her heart, but she's just as over the moon about our moody boy as he is for her. And now they're headed towards Mustafar, a chapter I'm really excited to write, especially where the Knights of Ren are concerned. Thank you once again for reading my humble fic, and stay tuned for chapter 8!


	8. Introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be entirely from Ben's POV. In this chapter, Rey reveals the color of her saber and begins to embrace the darkness as an asset. On Mustafar all is revealed to the Knights of Ren, and Rey discovers something new about Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I'm going out of town for a few days and I decided to give you this chapter a little early to hold you over until I return. I hope you like it ^_^

Ben came to with a start. His throat was parched, and his stomach growled at him. He opened his eyes and rose to his feet carefully. He wanted to check on Rey, before anything else. He walked towards his quarters and saw her standing, with her back to him. This wasn’t possible, was it? She should still be deep in a trance, working on her saber. How long had he been with his grandfather? She turned to him, her face was pale, and beaded with sweat. “Ben.” She clutched a saber hilt in her hand. “Show me.” he said softly. Her hand clenched over the hilt as she took a step back to activate the button. The sound of the saber igniting filled the room as the beams erupted from either end, bathing her in a violet light. He stared in awe, knowing she’d probably been the first person in the galaxy to ever construct her saber this quickly. She extinguished the blade and took a step towards him, before her eyes rolled up in her head and her knees gave out. He was there in an instant to catch her, to place her gently on his bed. He looked her over with a sense of fierce pride. She never ceased to amaze him. He pulled the blankets over her and settled his cloak down on the floor, to pass out with her. He woke briefly later, unsure of how much time had elapsed, to find Rey had moved from the bed to the ground with him, burrowed into him and breathing softly against his chest. He smiled at the idea that she’d give up a comfortable bed just to sleep next to him. Anakin’s words echoed in his head. He loved her. Force preserve him, he loved this tiny woman pressed against him. Breathing in the scent of her, he closed his eyes once more to fall into a dreamless but comforting sleep. He woke again later, as the ship’s system came online to alert him that they were approaching Mustafar. Kriff, they’d practically slept the whole flight. But he couldn’t bring himself to be too upset, Rey needed the rest after the rigors of constructing her saber so quickly. He was still amazed by it. He gently untangled himself from her grasp to go brew some Caf for them both, before returning to rouse her. “Rey.” he said softly, not wanting to startle her. Her eyes opened slowly to meet his and she smiled up at him. “I did it.” “Yes you did.” he passed her a steaming mug which she took with a grateful nod. “We’ll need to drink this in our seats. It’s almost time to enter Mustafar’s atmosphere.” Rey stood and followed him, a quiet but content hum of energy through the bond. He stared out the window at the glow of the molten planet lost in thought before strapping himself in. Rey followed suit in the chair beside him. He shot her a roguish grin before taking the controls for their landing.

“It’s brighter than I thought it would be, for a planet with no sun.” Rey said conversationally before draining her mug. She watched splashes of lava hiss and flare as Ben piloted the cruiser. He felt her fascination and curiosity as he brought them lower to their destination. He would have liked to have taken her for a tour of the lava fields but time was of the essence. His knights were waiting. Soon the black fortress that had belonged to his grandfather loomed into view. He saw the ships of his knights already there, on the landing pad. A wave of panic washed over him, and he knew it was Rey’s. Her gaze had fallen on the ships. He brought them down for a smooth, silent landing before turning his attention to her. “Rey. Look at me.” Rey turned to stare into his eyes. “No harm will come to you here. I would never allow it. We have to trust each other. I’m asking you to trust me now, okay? Remember what Master Yoda said” She nodded silently. “My knights are waiting for us. I can sense them. Consider this an exercise in our relationship as Master and Apprentice. Follow my lead and keep silent. The less you say, the better at this point, till I can explain everything. Put your mental shields up, and keep them firmly in place. Walk with confidence, not fear. If you need to, tap into my darkness for strength.” Rey looked at him in mild confusion. “What do you mean?” she asked him. “Do you think people walk wide of me just by reputation alone? I project an aura of darkness purposely. It is a show of dominance. Would you be willing to try this as an exercise in balancing your light with darkness?” Rey chewed her bottom lip. He could see her turning it over in her mind before she nodded. “Show me, please.” she said quietly. He raised a hand to place two fingers gently against her forehead. “With your permission.” he told her curtly. “Yes.” was her only reply. He closed his eyes and transferred the knowledge she needed to her mind, withdrawing as soon as it was done. “I see now.” Rey breathed. “Thank you..Master.” He nearly choked in surprise at the thrill that shot through his body at the way she called him by that name. In his darkest fantasies that was the only name she called him as she submitted herself to his desires. Quickly he threw up his own mental walls to keep her from viewing his current turmoil. If she sensed it, she said nothing. He cleared his throat. “One last thing perhaps, to give you a little more confidence, and to show you are under my protection.” He removed his cloak, and placed it on her shoulders, drawing the hood up. He stood back and smiled hotly at the sight of her wearing his cloak. Nobody would mistake her with that. His darkness, the possessive streak that claimed her roared to life, pleased with such a visible sign of his ownership of her. He shoved it down, but kept the aura of his darkness pulled around him. “It’s time Rey. You’ll do well, I know it.” 

The air around them was hot and whipped with howling winds as they exited his cruiser with their belongings and BB8 following in tow. On the landing pad, a group of black clad warriors knelt at the approach of their Master. He’d left the mask behind. His knights would know him without it anyway. “Rise.” He spoke, gesturing to them. They rose as a unit, wordlessly. “I believe you may all recognize the woman beside me, Rey of Jakku. She is under my protection.” They all focused their attention on her, the cloak on her shoulders left no doubt that he was deadly serious about his claim on her. “Come. We have many things to discuss.” He motioned for them to follow as he took Rey’s hand and placed it on his arm, another clear and visible sign to his knights that she was his. She was doing well, just as he predicted. As they strode past the knights gathered, he felt her projecting her own darkness, she walked with her eyes ahead, chin held high and back straight. He led them into the cool air of the fortress, through a long hallway and a set of biolock doors. From there it was up a flight of stairs and down another hallway, this one wide and with many doors. At the end of the hall, the largest pair of doors loomed. He used the force to open them. “Wait here BB8.” he told the little droid. They strode into a black room which held a round table with chairs. He pulled one out for Rey and took the one beside her. His knights followed suit, taking chairs around them. Salander Ren sat next to him, Odain Ren next to Rey. “Remove your helmets.” he commanded. All seven knights did so, and he could feel Rey intensely studying their faces beside him. “You are all wondering why I have the woman who killed Snoke by my side. Why I’ve waited so long to call you to a meeting. It is time for you to know the truth of the matter. But before I do, I wish you to introduce yourselves to my apprentice.” Odain Ren who sat beside Rey, nodded to her. “My lady, I am Odain Ren, first of the Knights of Ren.” Rey returned the nod respectfully. The knights went in turn, naming themselves to her. Nasham Ren, Artan Ren, Petra Ren, Cyrus Ren, Jesver Ren, and finally, Salander Ren gave their names to her. Each one nodded respectfully, and she returned it silently. “Now that formalities are seen to, let me begin the tale.” Quietly he revealed the events which lead them to where they were now, including his suspicions of Hux. “Do any of you have any reservations about following me still? Or will you trust me as you have to see this through?” “Master.” Salander Ren’s voice broke the silence that followed his challenge. “We seven have always been yours since before Snoke, and shall remain so. Our loyalty was always to you. We did Snoke’s bidding by your command, but he was never our Master. I believe that we speak for all of you when we say that we stand with you to death.” Odain Ren rose out of his seat. “Master I agree with Salander Ren. We are yours to the death.” he bowed solemnly. The other knights rose and bowed, assenting their loyalty as well. Ben exhaled a sigh of relief mentally but remained composed outwardly. It was after all within their right to challenge him for the right to be called Master if they questioned his judgement. “Thank you all.” he rose and gestured for everyone to as well. “We will discuss our next steps tomorrow. For now, at ease.” The men in the room all relaxed visibly. Odain Ren approached him. “Can I just say Master, how nice it is to see you with such a lovely young lady. My wife can finally leave off trying to play match maker.” He chuckled. Ben rolled his eyes. “Yes, a relief to us both, I think.” “You have a wife?!” Rey blurted out behind them. 

Odain Ren turned to smile at Rey. “Yes my lady. Does it shock you to hear that? Granted I know the Jedi way frowned upon attachments like marriage, but the Knights Of Ren are free to choose, and love whom we please.” Ben watched the wheels turning in Rey’s mind with an internal smile. “Maybe..maybe your wife could find someone for Hux, and he’d be less of a busybody.” Odain gaped and then laughed loudly. “Oh, Master! I like her!” Odain bowed respectfully to her. “Lady Rey, a pleasure meeting you. Now if you’ll pardon me, I’m going to my quarters to freshen up. Master Ren.” With that he strode out of the meeting room with the other knights in tow. Ben smiled down at Rey. “Well done, apprentice. I think in time you will see that they are not the monsters you feared them to be after all. You might even come to like one or two of them.” Rey squeezed his hand . “Now what…Master?” He could tell the word was still foreign on her tongue, but he relished the sound of it. “Now, we go to my quarters. Later, we will train with your saber if you like.” Rey nodded silently. He offered her his arm once more, and she took it. Together they re-entered the hallway. “BB8, come on.” Rey called to the unit. It followed the two of them as they walked to his rooms. The door to his quarters was mid way down the hall. He opened the door and gestured for her to enter, following behind her. Her gasp echoed in the room. “It’s as big as a house!” Ben paused for a moment. “Do you like it?” BB8 rolled in with an appreciative series of beeps. “I know right?” she replied to the droid. She turned back to him. “There’s so much, you have so many things here. And it’s not dark. I’m surprised.” He smirked at her words. “I realize that you may have been under the impression that I live in a cave of total darkness, but even I have a taste for things. On board any first order ship, luxuries are limited, even for the supreme leader. Here, and in my other private homes I am free to decorate how I like.” He watched as she inspected his room, fingers lingering over the spines of books on a tall shelf. “So many books.” “I like to read.” She continued to explore, pausing at his desk to study his calligraphy. “This is beautiful. Did you do this?” “Yes.” “Can you show me?” Ben felt something tugging at his heart. She didn’t know how to write? Of course. Her childhood. She’d never had the chance to be educated like he’d been. “Would it please you?” “Yes. I’ve always wanted to know how to write.” “Then we’ll add it to the list of lessons.” The smile she gave him was breath taking. 

Just then a knock came and a protocol droid entered the room. “Master Ren, I am here to see if there is anything you require-oh! You’ve brought a guest!” Ben gestured to the droid. “This is the Lady Rey. Please see to anything that she needs.” The droid approached Rey. “Madam I am D4-Z9. I can assist you with anything you need. Might I say that your clothes look like they are in need of a good washing, and you will probably require a bath! Not to worry, I happen to have clothes here just your size!” Rey’s sputtering protests were overcome as she was ushered to Ben’s bathroom. He knew she’d enjoy it, when she discovered the large sunken tub built into the ground. It was big even for him. “I’ll let you get freshened up for dinner.” he called to her retreating back. He felt a surge of annoyance through the bond directed at him and he chuckled quietly to himself. She was a fighter every step of the way, in all things. His fierce scavenger woman. Soon he could hear the sound of water running and some rather loud shouts that Rey could undress herself, mixed with D4’s indignant rebuttals. Finally D4 emerged, with Rey’s clothes in it’s grasp. “Master Ren, I must say she is a handful, but I have seen to her comfort. I hope you don’t find it too forward but I have some garments that belonged to your grandmother Padme. They were kept here by your grandfather and are still in-“ Ben cut the droid off with a raised hand. “I trust in your judgement D4. But do not dispose of any of Rey’s garments. She’d be rather upset with me if you did so. Mend and clean them, and return them when they’re done. We’ll take our dinner here in my room.” “Yes Master Ren.” The droid assented. “Wait, before you go, take BB8 with you.” BB8 made noises of complaint. “Go on BB8. D4 will make sure your systems are running efficiently and that any routine maintenance you need will be given to you.” BB8 chirped softly. “It’s not a trick, I promise.” “This way BB8, have no fear. I will accompany you and we can return later to see Lady Rey.” D4-Z9 ushered the little unit out of the chambers.

With a sigh Ben fell back on a plush couch, relaxing for what felt like the first time in forever. No one would disturb him here. It was just him..and Rey…who was naked in his bathtub. A light sweat broke out on his forehead and he groaned softly. Now was not the time to think about that! He made sure his mental shields were still in place before reaching out to sense Rey. He felt her contentment. In his mind suddenly he saw her up to her shoulders in bubbles, her wet hair slicked back and spilling down her shoulders. With a guilty jerk he brought himself back. He was not going to spy on her in this moment, she would murder him! He slapped himself to focus on anything, anything but the idea of going in to the bathroom and possessing her this instant. He exhaled and shifted on the couch, trying to ignore the roaring ache emanating from his groin. He decided to practice breathing exercises. He closed his eyes and drifted off, only to be woken a short time later by the return of D4, who had a flowing gown draped over it’s arm. “Master Ren, I apologize for disturbing your rest. I will leave the garment for Lady Rey on the bed.” He merely nodded, not even glancing in D4’s direction. He could tell Rey was still in the bath. He must have only been out for a few moments. D4 chattered on, speaking about the meal it was preparing for them. “…and I believe a nice bottle of wine will go with it.” “Yes, thank you. I’m sure it will be fine.” he dismissed the droid once more, and after D4 had left him, he went to the bookshelf, perusing the titles absentmindedly. He picked a tome of poetry from Naboo. How long had it been since he’d read something like this? He opened it and selected a page at random. He settled on the couch and lost himself in the pages while he waited for Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys you don't know how hard this slow burn is on me. Because I could think of a million delicious scenarios to write out with the bathtub alone! XD On the other hand, I'm having fun tormenting Ben. I hope you like the initial introduction of the Knights of Ren. If it left you wanting a little more interaction between them and Rey, never fear, there will be more, including in the upcoming chapters. They're crucial to this story line. Please stand by for Chapter 9! XD


	9. A Bath and A Clash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is entirely from Rey's POV, and a bit of a long one. Rey begins to face her feelings about Ben, and is deeply affected by the instability of the force on Mustafar. Can these two go one day without a spat?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, I'm back from my trip and ready to deliver this chapter! I really liked exploring the idea of the force being somewhat out of control, and causing the sexual tension to amplify between Rey and Ben, as well as the darkness within Rey. What's a girl to do?!

Rey sat in the warm bath water, trying to relax. Never in her life had she experienced such luxury and it was a little surreal. Her muscles and bones welcomed the heat seeping into her however after the past few days on Ahch-To’s cooler climate. The tub she sat in was enormous, she’d never seen the like. She felt certain that she and Ben could easily fit in this together. She blushed at the thought. She wished that she could decide to give herself to him and just be done with it. After all, there’d be no more mystery, no more fear. She couldn’t lie to herself about the way her body responded to his. She knew he wanted her, cared for her. The feelings were mutual across the board. So what held her back? She searched her feelings, slowly. There was concern, at the forefront of her mind. Once she became Ben Solo’s lover, she made a clear statement that she stood with him in every single way, even in the damning shadow of his past crimes. She could lose everyone, possibly even Leia. The idea of Finn turning his back on her though, that above everything was what stood out to her. She couldn’t discredit the idea that Finn would think it absolutely the right thing to do to wash his hands of her. Yet Odain Ren’s words came to mind. “…free to choose, and love whom we please.” Love. This meant that Ben was free to love. And now, with the light returning to him, he could find that emotion to give. She herself had always dreamed of someone loving her. The idea of Ben saying those words to her sent a strange thrill through her soul. She shook her head. The heat of this bath was clearly going to her brain. Ben might care for her, but princes didn’t fall in love with orphans from desert planets, much less marry them. No doubt he’d be expected to make a marriage of political importance at some point in his future. Jealousy surged through her. She had a sudden desire to smash everything in sight. The idea of Ben with his arms around another woman, kissing another woman caused waves of rage to rise up. “Rey!” The subject of her thoughts brought her back to reality. “Rey! Is everything okay in there? I felt…something.” Rey let out a long breath, her anger cooling at the sound of his voice. “Yes! I’m fine. Sorry, I’ll try not to project my emotions so loudly!” Embarrassment flooded through her as she tightened up her end of the bond. She was being ridiculous. Suddenly she recalled Ben’s warning about the force instability possibly affecting her mood. She’d never had such jealous thoughts before. She stood up and reached for the towel on the edge of the tub. She began drying herself off before slipping on an oversized black robe. It was definitely Ben’s, she could tell by the size and the distinct smell of him on the material. For a second she breathed it in, letting his scent soothe her into calmness. She wrapped the cord around her waist and exited the bath.

Ben was lounging on a couch with a book in his hands. His long legs were stretched out along the expanse of it, and hair had fallen into his face once again. Most shockingly of all, he was shirtless. Rey flushed a bright crimson, suddenly aware of the fact that she was getting that terrible aching sensation between her legs again at the sight of him looking so casually at ease in himself, his beautiful chest on display before her eyes. She became hyper aware of the softness of the bathrobe against her bare skin. All he’d have to do was walk over to her and remove it and she’d be-KRIFF what was wrong with her! She squeezed her eyes shut. Was it the instability of the force here amplifying her emotions yet again?! With a deep breath she cleared her mind. “Uhm, Ben?” He looked up at the sound of her voice. His eyes widened at the sight of her in his bathrobe. Something swam behind them, a ghost of his darkness, a whisper of possessive lust at the sight of her wrapped in something so intimately his. He set the book to the side and walked slowly towards her. “I, I don’t know where my clothes are, or what there is to wear. That annoying protocol droid wouldn’t let me keep them.” she stammered as he closed the distance between them. He stared at her, but didn’t say anything. Her heart hammered. She couldn’t read him through the bond, he’d shut his emotions off from her. “Ben? Are you going to say something?” “I’m trying to think of something to say.” “My..my clothes?” He circled around her, his energy spiking and dancing over her body. “There’s a dress for you. On the bed.” he said from behind her, his breath hot on her neck. “You smell good. Did you enjoy your bath?” A hand reached out to run through her damp hair. “Yes. Yes. I did.” “I sensed darkness emanating from you for just a moment. Jealousy.” His hand stopped it’s ruminations. “What could you possibly be jealous of Rey? Haven’t I told you plainly that I desire you? That there’s only you?” Rey stepped away from him, feeling overwhelmed. “It’s nothing. I lost control of my emotions. You’d warned me about the imbalance of the force here, but it wasn’t until then that I realized it was affecting me. It seems to amplify my emotions to an extreme.” She didn’t know what else to say. She clenched her fists, trying to reign herself in. “Rey.” He was standing in front of her now. “Look at me.” Rey brought her eyes up to his. “No. Look at me.” She realized what he meant. She let her eyes drink in his body slowly. The muscled swells of his arms. The slopes of his broad shoulders. The perfection of his chest and stomach. Sculpted like hard smooth marble, smattered with freckles and scars. Below his navel, a trail of dark hair flowed down beneath the waistline of his trousers. She brought her eyes back up to his own, not even realizing that she was breathing heavily. 

Ben closed the space between them. “I want you to know…” he leaned down as he spoke, bringing his lips to speak against her ear, “…that I heard every.single.thought. and felt.every.single.ounce. of what you were feeling from the moment you stepped out of the bathroom.” Rey gasped, but he’d already leaned back, looking down on her with an unreadable gaze. She tried to avert her eyes again but he grabbed her chin. “I would love to do anything within the realm of what you were projecting. And much more beyond that. It’s taking everything I have to not throw you onto the bed right now. But I made a promise.” He brought his face close to hers again. Their lips were almost touching. “Not until you ask me." Rey moaned. She couldn’t help it. Ben shoved her roughly away from him. “I can wait, Rey. It will make it that much sweeter when you do surrender to me. You can’t last forever, and I’m not even trying to seduce you.” He strode back to the couch, shrugging on his tunic. “But if you’re not going to ask me..I’d suggest you get dressed. I’ll be back.” Rey called after him. “Where are you going!?” She couldn’t hide the alarm in her voice at the idea of him leaving. He looked over to her, softly this time. “I need to walk off some steam before dinner.” “Ben I’m sorry! I don’t know why I’m having such a hard time with this! I’ll try harder.” Ben came towards her again and this time merely wrapped his arms around her. “I’m not mad at you Rey. You drive me crazy though. There’s no fault in this. I did tell you about the way Mustafar can affect force users. You’re still so new to all of this. At the risk of being overly honest…I love that I make you feel that way. I love that you can’t hide it from me. I don’t want you to either. Promise me you’ll never try to hide this from me. I mean it.” Rey nodded against his chest. “I promise Ben.” He squeezed her in a tight hug, but she didn’t mind in the slightest. “Good. I’ll be back. Do not leave this room, for your safety. I’ll be back before dinner. And for the love of the force, please, be dressed when I get back.” Rey giggled as he released her, and strode out the door. She turned and her eyes fell on the dress laid out on the bed. The garment seemed to made of thin material. It was a soft mauve color, somewhere between purple and pink, she couldn’t decide. She slipped the bathrobe off and clutched the dress, trying to decide how exactly it was supposed to go on. She was no good at this, she’d never thought she’d be wearing a dress, certainly not for Ben Solo! With a determined frown she pulled it over her head, and realized with relief as it fell over her body that she’d gotten it right. There were no sleeves, and it draped to expose the sides of her rib cage, and her back entirely. She realized she wasn’t meant to wear a breast band with the dress, but what about her undergarments!? She huffed and hoped that D4-Z9 would return soon. She returned Ben’s robe to the bathroom and studied herself in the mirror, shocked.

Rey looked at her reflection, hardly recognizing herself. The gown made her feel almost like a different person. It draped and hugged her body sinuously, revealing and concealing all at once. The air felt cool suddenly against the skin of her exposed back. The dress completely covered her chest, gathered at her throat by a slim gold metal collar. At the back of her neck, delicate chains ran down her back to hold the gathered fabric that rested just above the swell of her buttocks. Rey had no idea what kind of woman wore this sort of garment but it was certainly beautiful. She felt beautiful in it, if a bit embarrassed at how exposed she felt. She realized she wasn’t sure what she should do with her hair. Just then D4-Z9 bustled through the door with BB8. “Lady Rey! Are you dressed? I’ve returned with your clothes clean and I know you’ll be needing at least one of these items to wear under your gown!” Rey cringed and came back out to the quarters. “Oh! Lady Rey, I just knew that dress would suit you!” the protocol droid exclaimed. BB8 whistled, causing Rey to laugh. “Thanks BB8.” D4 approached Rey. “My lady, before I go to finish with preparations for dinner, is there anything else I can do for you?” Rey chewed her lip thoughtfully. “Actually there is. Do you know anything about hair styles?” D4, did in fact know, and soon had Rey seated on the couch where Ben had recently sat, chatting happily away. “Why do you keep calling me ‘lady’ D4?” The droid huffed. “It’s a matter of protocol and respect my lady. As it would appear you are the intended of my master-“ “I uh..I don’t think-“ “My lady, I hardly dare to think my master would allow you to wear the gown that belonged to his grandmother the queen if he did not feel the way he does about you. It’s very obvious you know. I’m not human, but I know a man in love when I see one!” BB8, who until this point had been resting silently at her feet let out a low beep of surprise. Rey felt just as shocked. Ben. Ben in love with her? D4 had to be mistaken. But the droid nattered on, saying how pleased they were that their master had finally found someone, and such a beautiful lady at that. “There now, I believe you will like the completed result. Go to the mirror and see.” Rey did so, and smiled. D4 had twisted her hair into thick long curls that framed her face and fell down her back. “This is wonderful D4. Thank you.” she called from the bathroom and returned to sit at the sofa. “I’m pleased you like it my lady. Now if you’ll pardon me I must see to dinner.” Rey smiled. Perhaps the droid wasn’t such a pain after all. After the droid left the room Rey searched for her clothes, finding them laid neatly on top of a dresser. She discreetly grabbed her undergarments and slipped them on in the bathroom. When she returned to the couch she gave BB8 an affectionate pat. She picked up the book that Ben had been reading, opening to a page at random. She could read well enough, even though she’d never learned to write. This was a book of poems about love. Strange how that word kept coming up today. She closed it and set it aside with a sigh, just as Ben walked back through the door. 

Rey rose and turned to greet him as he came back in. “That was fast.” Ben stood stock still, taking in the sight of her. She fidgeted nervously under his gaze, still, he stared. “Please say something Ben.” He smiled. “You look…beautiful. Come here.” She walked towards him, hyper aware once more of how much skin was exposed. She thought she’d feel embarrassed, but instead, she felt, well, beautiful. She sensed the truth of his words and it sent threads of elation through her. He took her hand in his and turned her slowly, her back facing him now. “Beautiful.” he repeated softly. She shivered as she felt the back of his hand trace the line of her shoulder, down her spine before curling around her waist, pulling her against him. She tensed for a second before realizing he simply wanted to hold her. “Will you always be so jumpy around me?” he chuckled. She smiled and turned her head to look at him. “Will you always make me jump out of my skin?” He smirked down at her. “I guess time will tell. Speaking of which, D4 should be back any moment. Allow me to escort you to the dining hall. I’d never hear the end of it if I wasn’t on time for the meal.” She laughed as they walked to dinner. “It’s so strange to hear you worry about what a robot might say. What anyone would say really, when I think about it.” “Is it?” “I guess I never imagined you’d being concerned with answering to anyone.” Ben smirked. “And what about you? Who do you answer to now?” Rey paused for thought as they entered the dining hall. It was a small room with wall to ceiling windows on all sides, and a set of double doors which led to a terrace overlooking the lava fields. Ben pulled out a chair for her to sit in and she did so, eyes turned to gaze on the flaring magma in the distance. “I suppose I don’t have anyone looking over my shoulder anymore. Technically you could say I’ve been cut loose even from the resistance. Your mother feared you would use me, to exploit the bond for information on the resistance. She was the one who suggested I make my way to Ahch-To, though I’d already been considering it.” Ben sat at the opposite end of the table, listening attentively. “Do you miss them?” Rey considered his question. “The Resistance..your friends I mean.” “I do. Especially Finn. He was my first friend. I feel so guilty, I’ve barely seen him since..the forest. And now I’m here, with you.” “I’m not sure if I like the way you say that.” Ben’s voice was sharp, a tone she had not heard him speak in for a while. She looked back to him. His eyes were narrowed in her direction. Rey felt stubbornness well up within her as she glared back at him. “Well what do you expect? Do you think my best friend is going to be thrilled that I’m having dinner with the Supreme Leader? Have you considered that maybe, just maybe, I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out how I’m going to explain this to him? To the resistance? Or do you think my mind only revolves around thinking about your stupid muscles all day?!” Ben slammed his fists on the table. “You didn’t seem to think my muscles were so stupid earlier. Ashamed suddenly? How disappointing.” Rey glared daggers at him. He returned them, then suddenly stretched his hand out to her. Rey had no time to react, she felt the touch of him rifling through her mind. He was searching her thoughts! “GET OUT OF MY HEAD!” she screamed, and sent a force push so hard towards him it knocked him out of his chair. He got up with a growl. “So that’s why…” Rey stood up and stalked over to him. “You will never, EVER, do that to me again. How can you dare to stand there and feel angry about my confusion, you, who let the whole universe believe I’m responsible for the murder of Snoke-something you forgot to mention to Hux by the way! You dare to get angry with me when YOU put me in this position with your lies in the first place?!” She stabbed a finger into his chest. “Don’t ever try to use the Force like that on me again. If you want to know how I feel, let me tell you! And if I don’t know, then back off while I figure it out, you will not take your temper out on me!” She emphasized her last words with another jab into his sternum. 

She’d backed him against the window without even realizing it. In her anger she’d advanced, slowly pressing him back. He gazed at her warily. “I apologize, Rey.” Rey let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. “I’ll never do that again. I promise.” She nodded, unable to find words to reply with. She walked back to her seat and sat down. Ben turned his chair upright once more and sat in it. The silence between them stretched, till D4 burst through the door, completely oblivious to the tension in the room as the droid rolled a dining cart to the table. The smells wafting from the dishes as D4 laid each of them on the table made Rey’s mouth water.  
“And here we are, wine to pair with the meal!” D4-Z9 exclaimed proudly as it served Rey a glass. Rey held the glass to her nose, giving it a test sniff. She’d never had wine before. It smelled bitter yet sweet all at once, reminding her a bit of how Caf smelled to her. She took a small sip, and was surprised by how pleasant she found the taste. She could feel Ben watching her from across the table, and through their bond, she picked up his curiosity as to what she thought of the beverage. D4 served them on large plates, and Rey forgot about her anger momentarily as she sampled each thing on her plate, delighting in the flavors. She tried her best to savor the meal, but it was so good she’d finished well ahead of Ben yet again. “Would my lady like any more of the food? I’m glad it was to your liking! It’s important that you eat well, if you don’t mind me saying.” Rey waved D4 away. “No thank you.” She took a long drink of wine, enjoying the way it seemed to make warmth unfold into her stomach. “Leave us, please D4.” Ben commanded quietly. D4 bowed and left silently. “I’m glad you liked the meal.” A peace offering, or as close as he’d be able to give, Rey realized. “I did, thank you.” Ben rose from his chair taking his wine glass with him. He stopped to grab the wine bottle from the cart before making his way to sit on the edge of the table in front of her. He took her glass and refilled it, before pouring more into his own. “I have to confess it’s been a long while since I had wine.” he said conversationally. “How long?” “It was just before I was sent away to Luke’s academy. I’d snuck a bottle from the kitchens. The next day I woke up in the gardens, my head pounding and stomach heaving.” Rey giggled at the thought. Ben shared an image with her of himself that morning. A gangly boy, not quite grown into his full height, ears sticking out from shorter hair laid out on a stone floor between flowering shrubs, holding his head in one hand and an empty bottle in the other. The giggles turned to bubbly laughter, tears of mirth came to the corners of her eyes. “It’s not that funny.” he grumbled. Rey tried to quiet herself, taking a large gulp of the wine. It was going down quite easily now. She felt relaxed, almost sleepy. A knock interrupted the moment. “Enter.” Ben called sharply, standing up from his perch on the table. Rey rose with him. Salander Ren walked in and saluted Ben. “Master, my lady, forgive this intrusion. I require your presence.” Ben nodded. “I will meet you in the council room.” Salander Ren bowed low. “As you say Master. Good evening to you Lady Rey.” he included her in his bow before leaving them. Ben sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I apologize. I’ll escort you back.” Rey shook her head. “I’d like to stay, if that’s alright. I’d like to see the balcony. I think I can find my way back.” Ben frowned. “Don’t worry. I feel fine.” she smiled at him. “As you say..my lady.” Rey felt like a string had been plucked through her whole body at those words. Before she could think of a reply, he lifted her hand to his lips and brushed it gently, then turned and made his way to the council room. Rey was left holding her hand, feeling the warmth where his mouth had been. She shook her head and reached for her wine. She made her way out to the balcony, draining the remainder of the glass in one gulp. The air was hot on the balcony but she didn’t mind. She watched the fiery lava dance below her in arcs of hissing gold and orange, dazed. Thoughts rolled lazily in her mind. What would she do, about Ben? She cared for him, in spite of it all. Yoda’s words only strengthened the idea that she was on the right path, that they were supposed to be with one another. They would balance each other. “Only when the two are one, can balance be achieved.” the words echoed in her mind. How? How could they become one? They could barely go a day without squabbling. And yet, she mused, they could also barely go a day without being in one another’s presence. This was a war between them, no doubt about it. Both fighting not to give ground. He’d done it though, she had to admit. He’d risked much by revealing her to his knights. And D4 had said that he was in love with her. Rey bit her lip. Could it really be true? The notion of Ben loving her was hard to fathom. Still, he’d given ground, in just a few short days. What had she surrendered? Not much, in truth. Sighing, she headed back inside and sat at the table. Her head was starting to spin. Had she had too much wine? She decided it would probably be best to go back to the room. She stood up, determined to make it back with some dignity. “Rey.” her name was a whisper on the air. “Hello?” she called, unable to locate the source. She stuck her head out the door. The hallway was empty. “Rey..” louder this time. Coming from the end of the hall, back towards the stairs. “Rey!” Rey felt a stab of fear, but felt compelled to follow. Slowly, she made her way to the end of the hall, and out of sight, down the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I tried to end this chapter on a bit of a cliff hanger, though not the one you might have been hoping for dear readers. Who was the mysterious voice calling to Rey? Guess you'll have to wait and see in chapter 10! :D Thank you for sticking it out this far!


	10. Eclipsed In The Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BEFORE WE GET INTO CHAPTER 10, LET ME GIVE YOU THIS HEADS UP
> 
> *****DOUBLE WARNING*****   
> 1: In the first 3 paragraphs there are elements of suicide/contemplation. Also some verbal/emotional abuse elements.
> 
> 2: In the second 3 paragraphs there is (finally) some smut and explicit content!
> 
> In this chapter, Rey must face the darkness within, or perish. Sorry to keep it short but I thoroughly hope you enjoy this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo first thing's first, I am very sorry for the delay dear readers! I've been busy with life stuff, but this has not been forgotten and I solemnly swear that I will see this story through to the end. Have no fear, this story is barely beginning!

The air was scalding on Rey’s skin. She walked blindly, helpless to resist the voice that called to her till she stood on the scorching shore of the lava field. The dark side of the force was overwhelming here, on the shore line. A vergence manifesting, feeding from her turmoil. “Rey. Why?” Her eyes jerked around, then back to the edge of the shore. Two bodies, with faces obscured by shadow stood before her. “Why did you leave?” A woman’s voice filled with agony. “Rey. We came back for you, but you were gone. You gave up on us.” A man’s voice, grave and disappointed. “No.” she breathed in horrified confusion. It couldn’t be them. These creatures could not be her parents. And yet. Her feet stepped towards them of their own desperate volition. “Jakku is hot, but now we are cold. Cold in the grave. We’re still waiting. We loved you. Now the sand holds our bodies. If only you had stayed. You could have saved us.” A strangled cry ripped from within the depths of Rey’s chest. A hand extended out to the shadowy forms. “Don’t go.” The winds whipped and dissolved the shadow creatures into nothing. She closed her eyes, weeping silently. “Fat chance of saving them kid. You couldn’t even save me.” Han’s voice. What..was happening? “You can’t be real.” The shadowy figure that looked like Han Solo scoffed at her as she dared to look at him. “Oh but I am. I am as real as you allow me to be. Some hero you turned out to be. Look at you now, dressed up for the monster who killed me. You wanted me to be a father figure to you. I could have been the best…if you’d made it to my side in time to save me. But you couldn’t even do that.” Rey screamed. “STOP IT!” She closed her eyes again, willing the terrible vision away. “You didn’t think it would be that easy, did you? Traitor.” Finn’s voice reeked of disappointment. No. No. Not this. Rey’s mind screamed. “Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love him!” “Finn, please…I can explain.” “Explain?!” Finn chortled. “Oh, no need to explain. I suspected as much from the start, that you’d throw it all away for him. Now you’re his whore. Was it worth betraying the resistance? Worth losing me? Your best friend?” Rey stared blindly at the shadow Finn. Another step towards the river of flame. Her skin was beginning to burn. The edges of the beautiful gown were ruined by blackened ash. “Traitor. Whore.” Finn dissipated into nothing. _Someone help me_ , her mind was in torment. She could not move. She could not…. The darkness was reforming. Two figures slowly taking form, clearly male and female. She looked away, somehow knowing yet unable to bear what she would see next. “Oh. She is just pathetic. Put her out of her misery, my love. You’d be doing her a kindness.” A crystalline cruel voice mocked. “Scavenger, look at me.” Compelled, she looked upon the terrible vision before her. A shadowy, more beautiful version of Rey stood with her arms around Ben. Her eyes were yellow, like those of a Sith. She was dressed in black from head to toe, and her countenance was vicious, malice and darkness seeped off of her. Ben was remade in some more terrible and darkly beautiful version of himself as well. His eyes too, were the gold of the Sith. He smirked down at Rey. “You thought you could have me? You? A nobody? You thought I could love you? A nothing? Here is my queen, a worthy consort in darkness. She is everything I desire. She is not ashamed to say she is mine, to stand with me in front of the entire galaxy. She had the courage to love me, to say it.” He gestured to the dark version of Rey, running his hands suggestively down her body. That terrible version of herself wrapped her arms around Ben, touching, kissing, claiming. She turned her awful gaze to Rey. “Worthless girl.” She removed herself from Ben’s embrace, and ignited a double bladed saber, a twin of Rey’s but hissing a blood red light that matched Ben’s own. “I would kill you. I would let him kill you. I want him to do it. But I want to see you do it yourself even more. It’d be so delicious, to watch you walk into the fire, to watch you burn.” Rey collapsed to her knees. “This isn’t real. This isn’t real!” Her mind screamed, her heart whinged. 

“Please..someone..” the words barely registered in her own ears. The ground was hot. So hot. She couldn’t think. She closed her eyes. It was becoming difficult to breathe. “Let the past die, Scavenger. End it.” Ben’s voice taunted from above her. “Join us, our darling, our baby.” her ghostly parents, calling. “This is the traitor’s death you deserve.” Finn spat. “A fitting end for a failed Jedi.” Han mocked. “Don’t worry girl, I’ll give him everything you never could. End it.” the dark twin of Rey crooned,  
“end it…end it..end it…end it..Rey end it!” the cloud of hateful voices chanted over and over. She howled, a full throated cry of fear and confusion. Clapping hands to her ears she huddled into herself, willing the voices away. “LEAVE ME ALONE!” The voices stopped at her exclamation. Rey opened her eyes, slowly lowering her hands from her ears. The dark cloud that had taken so many forms now hovered before her, shapeless, nameless, emanating ill will, deceit. “You are alone, scavenger.” it called, softly, taking a different tack. “But it does not have to be so. Embrace the dark, come to the dark. I can give you all you desire. A family. A lover. Friends. No division, never alone. You have the power to shape the galaxy as you see fit.” Rey’s head shook, something defiant trying to surface from the haze that had her so paralyzed in misery. “This is not real.” she panted once more. “None of this is real. You have no power over me.” Her voice steadied out. “Give in to me child!” the darkness hissed. “I am as much a part of you as any limb, as any drop of blood. Stop fighting what you know to be true! There is power in the dark. Here you will find your potential, your full power.” Sparks of fire flew on the air. Rey’s eyes turned skyward. Her breaths came in ragged pants. Tired. She was so tired. Had she ever been such desperate or in dire straits in all her life? Perhaps during the battle between Ben and herself on Star Killer Base. She’d struggled to avoid getting killed desperately. Until she embraced the Force. The light. Her gaze snapped back to the cloud of shadow. The light! Suddenly, her mind was clear. The Force blazed, beckoning. She opened herself with sheer determination, and the pure touch of the light filled her, balancing and chasing back the dark vergence. “You are a part of me. It’s true.” she acknowledged hoarsely. “But as the dark exists within me, so does the light.” The miasma seemed to shrink before her. It reformed as her shadow self who stared at her wordlessly, expressionless. “There is a balance. There is passion and peace, love and hate, anger and joy, life and death, dark and light, never one without the other, never one totality over the other.” Rey rose to her knees shakily. She stepped towards her shadow, who echoed her step, until they were face to face. “Now I understand.” She wrapped her arms around the shadow Rey, who felt surprisingly solid. The darkness embraced her as she returned it filled with light. “I will never deny you again.” Golden eyes stared at her, a smile danced across that dark echo of her face. “Well done.” a ghostly whisper fell on her ears. The dark version of Rey evaporated suddenly. Rey clung to the Force, drawing on it for strength, now desperate to move away from the searing heat of the shoreline. Breathing in the hot fiery air, and struggling with the vergence that had almost killed her had sapped her of her energy, both mentally and physically. Her lungs burned. Her body burned. Clarity returned as she stumbled away, trying to find her bearings. She’d walked in a fog when the darkness had lured her to the shoreline. Where was she? Where was the castle? _Ben_ , she sent through the bond. _Ben. Help me_. With her last plea, the world went black. “Rey, how did you get out here?” a voice, comforting, familiar but distant, as though coming from the end of a long tunnel. Arms picking her up, cradling her. “Ben..” she whispered weakly. She could barely open her eyes, but she saw through slitted eyes his face, the concern written there matching the wave emanating through the bond. “..the dark, it called to me. Need to tell you..” Ben made soothing noises, shaking his head as he walked. “Not right now. Close your eyes. I can feel how weak you are. Rest. I have you. Rest Rey.” His arms tightened around her. Sleep came crashing down with a wave of his hand, and she was unsure if she’d already begun dreaming or not when she’d heard his voice in her mind. _I’ve got you, my love_.

She came to in a tangle of soft sheets. She sat up, clutching the blanket to her chest. She was wearing Ben’s tunic, not the dress, a fact that might have alarmed her if she hadn’t felt like she was utterly drained and could sleep for a month straight. Instead her eyes scanned the room for Ben. He was on the couch, asleep, or so she thought. His eyes opened almost as soon as she laid hers upon him, awareness coursing through the bond. He sat up, looking towards her. “Rey. Don’t get up.” He walked towards her, pausing to pour a glass of water from a pitcher that rested on an end table. He sat down beside her on the edge of the bed. He was shirtless, but Rey was so exhausted she couldn’t even find the energy to be flustered. “Drink this please.” Ben offered the glass to her. With shaky hands she took it, nodding gratefully before raising the glass to her lips. “I..how did I end up in your shirt?” she asked hoarsely after a long swallow. The water was delicious in her parches throat. “D4 took care of you.” he said gently. “I promise I didn’t look at you either. However I did draw a bacta bath to help your skin heal, especially your feet. The sandals you wore had melted nearly all the way through. You shouldn’t be feeling any pain, but I can sense that you’re not wholly recovered. I’m so sorry Rey. I promised nothing would harm you here. Forgive me.” He pressed his forehead against hers, and she sighed contentedly at the contact of their skin. “There’s nothing to forgive. The darkness called to me. I felt as though I were in a trance. I…I had to face my own darkness. I had to accept and admit that it exists within me, or it would have killed me.” She closed her eyes, recalling the terrible distorted specters of those she loved most. “I will never deny what’s inside of me again.” Her voice sounded firm, far firmer than she felt. “I’m done running from my feelings. I will find a balance.” Ben nuzzled her cheek with his own. “I’ll help you.” he whispered sweetly. “Together.” she murmured, opening her eyes, pulling back to look at him. “Together.” he affirmed. He took her forgotten glass of water in his hands and sat it on the night stand beside the bed before he motioned for her to scoot over. She did so, moving across the mattress towards the center and laid down on her side, facing him. The bed was massive. Even with him in it there was still room on her side to roll across it twice. Ridiculous, she scoffed inwardly. Ben joined her in the middle, gathering her into his arms but kept the blanket between them. “You scared me to death Rey.” “The Supreme Leader? Scared?” she joked weakly against his chest. She snuggled in closer, finding comfort in the press of his body against hers. The bond hummed contentment between them. “Of losing you? Yes.” he said gruffly. “You won’t get rid of me that easy.” she grinned, tilting her chin to look up at his face. Their eyes locked and what she read in his dark ones made her stomach flip flop. Made hope bloom. “I need to tell you something.” she said softly. “But I’m afraid.” Ben’s eyes softened. “It’s okay. Acknowledge the fear. But don’t let it control you. I won’t turn away, no matter what it is you say.” He gently brushed a lock of hair that had fallen across her face out of her eyes. “Would it help if you closed your eyes?” She shook her head. No. He needed to see the truth of her words. It was time to give ground. To meet him in the middle. “I…I want you Ben. I want to be with you. I want you to be mine. Not just a friend. Not just a teacher. I..want to be yours in every way.” she blushed, but kept her eyes on his. “I’m sorry that I was afraid, before, because I’ve felt this way for so long. I denied it at first. And in turn I denied you. I’m sorry for that. I will never be ashamed of my feelings for you. I’ll never turn my back on you. I will stay by your side.” She inched her body up, to bring her face to his. He was frozen, as if she might be a mirage that would evaporate if he blinked. She found his hand in the dark. “Ben.” she licked her lips. “Ben, I’m asking you to kiss me.” His hand squeezed hers and he exhaled raggedly. Gently he loosened his fingers from hers and brought them to her face, staring at her with a wondrous expression that sent a curl of warmth through her lower body. He moved the blanket away from her before shifting to position his body over hers. Silently he nudged her legs apart, lowering himself slowly onto her but not entirely, resting on his elbows. The weight of his lower body pressed between her legs made her gasp, another delicious thrill of aching want flushing through her body at the contact. “Ben, please..please. Kiss me.”

Ben stared down at Rey’s flushed face beneath him, lips parted as she begged him to kiss her. Even now, exhausted, a bright flame of desire burned in her, bathing him in its warmth through their bond. Desire for him, glowing white hot. She’d kept her word. She opened the bond far enough to let him feel how he affected her, her body. He felt the wetness between her legs and his darkness flared, lust pooling in the pit of his stomach at the knowledge of how he affected her. She was wet for him alone. She desired him alone. She wanted to be his alone. And she would be. He pressed against her body with a sensual movement, sliding himself in an upward motion against her center and was rewarded by her shocked cry of his name. He brought his lips down to claim hers and the darkness in him crowed, pleased to be possessing such a beautiful willing heart. He’d meant to be gentle, to kiss her slowly, but his passion was gaining the upper hand. He parted her mouth with his tongue, seeking hers. Beneath him her body writhed, arching upwards, as though she were trying to melt her skin into his. The soft helpless sounds coming from her throat only spurred him on in his exploration. He slid a hand down, then snaked it up under the fabric of her tunic, to touch the skin underneath, hot to the touch. Slowly he inched up from the curve of her hip to the swell of her ribcage. He paused, waiting to see if she was okay with his boldness. When no objection came, he moved upwards to close his hand around the taut globe of her breast. He groaned into her mouth, breaking the kiss. He wanted to kiss her there. Rey sighed beneath him, lips bruised softly from their kissing, eyes dilated and staring into his own. His beautiful scavenger. “I want to see you Rey. Right now.” Her breath hitched beneath him. Through the bond he felt her desire hot and clenched, coiled to spring in her belly. “I want to see what you look like under all of this. I want to see all of you.” The blush that painted her cheeks made him chuckle. “Do I have your permission?” he said, letting her know through the bond it was okay if she wasn’t ready to go this far. Still he felt a streak of elation when she breathed the word yes. He drew back slightly, to pull the hem of the tunic slowly up and over her body. He paused to take in the sight of her beauty, the way her skin pebbled in the cool air now dancing over her skin. The perfection of her breasts. He palmed one again and with a wicked smirk, lowered his head to take one rosy nipple into his hot mouth. Rey hissed at the unexpected pleasure, eyes fluttering. He demanded her eyes to stay on his though. Demanded that she see just how desirable he found her as he ran his tongue in lazy circles around her areola. He could feel her quivering, she was so close to the brink he wanted to bring her to tonight. His hand released her breast but his mouth remained there to worship it, then the other. He slid his hand downwards, down to her hip, to the flat of her stomach. _Almost there_ , he thought. Still, he stopped. He had no desire to ruin the moment by going too fast. Not when she’d finally conceded to her feelings about him. Rey stared back at him wordlessly, mouth open slightly. Then shocked him by reaching down to remove her undergarments herself. Greedily he sat up to help push them down her legs, catching a whiff of her sex that made him nearly lose what measure of control he had. _Get a grip_ , he told himself. _It’s about her tonight_. Rey’s undergarments were tossed into some unseen area of the room past the edge of the bed by a flick of his impatient wrist. Then he turned his gaze back to her. He let her feel his arousal through the bond as he felt hers, both of them moaning at the two way sensation between them. Slowly, torturously, he placed his hands on her knees and slid her legs apart. He knew she wouldn’t stop him now, but he wanted to draw out the moment. It was worth it, when he parted them to reveal her most secret place. The one she’d guarded all her life. Untouched, unspoiled. All for him. _Mine!_ , the darkness screamed. _Mine_ , he echoed, the thought coursing unchecked through the bond. “Yours.” Rey breathed and opened her legs further for him, revealing the wetness pooling between her legs. 

Ben lowered himself onto his elbows once more, positioning his face between her legs. The ache between her thighs practically screamed at him through the bond, an ache he was more than ready to soothe. “I’m going to kiss you Rey.” he felt her confusion through the bond. “I’m going to kiss you here.” With that declaration he did so, placing a chaste kiss on her sex, that made her hips arch up in shock. He snaked his arms around her hips to keep her still, urging her to remain where she was through the bond. He waited and flexed his hands gently to keep her in place as he opened his mouth to take her into it. The sound she made when he did made his cock twitch in his trousers. He paid it no mind, and brought his tongue to brush against her swollen clitoris, then downwards, where the wetness pooled, tasting her there, in that sacred place. He slid his tongue inside of her and explored at a shallow depth, not wanting to shock her too much. Her body strained against his hands and mouth but she was not strong enough to escape from his delicious captivity. “Ben, oh Ben, what are you doing?” she cried. He pulled away from her wet needy sex. “Do you want me to stop?” “No!” “Do you trust me?” “Yes.” “I’m going to make you cum Rey. Have you ever had an orgasm before?” “No.” “Think of it..hmm..as a battle, but one where you have to surrender to your body, and losing makes you feel like pure bliss. Can you let go for me Rey?” He kissed her clitoris again, unable to resist. “Yes. Yes. For you Ben.” “Then try to relax, and let your body feel what it wants.” He slowly released his grasp on her hips, but kept his head between her legs. He waited for her nod before he brought his mouth back down between them to suck and lick her clitoris. She mewled beneath him but made no move to get away. Instead she was now wantonly thrusting herself against his tongue. _Yes Rey_ , he sent along the bond, _that’s it_. He slid his hand to the inside of her thigh and down, to slowly, gently push inside of her dripping warmth. He gently curled his finger upwards, the pad of it now pressed into the upper wall her sensitive tissue. He gave her a few shallow strokes while he continued his ministrations with his tongue to her now swollen clitoris, before adding a second finger, then a third. He felt the sensation of his fingers inside of her, delicious and full to her mind as he stretched her and stroked her into a frenzy. He would not relent though and as soon as she had adjusted to that sensation on top of his mouth on her, he sought and found the core of her, and began pressing his finger pads against it, insistent, calling, urging her to the bliss of surrender, to let her body fall. He broke away from her to drag a line of wet kisses over her abdomen but kept his fingers inside of her soaking wet heat. “Cum for me Rey. My fierce beautiful Rey. Cum for me.” At his words, her breathing changed and he knew she was hovering over the edge. He leaned down to give her a pressured, deliberate lick of his tongue, dragging it slowly across her clit before closing his whole generous mouth around it to attack with a series of rapid licks. Her hips arched and bucked, wet sweet liquid pooled down from within her, down his wrist as he gave her one final insistent flex of his fingers to her core, shattering her, the sound of Rey sobbing her pleasure, crying his name as she spasmed around him ringing in his ears. The thrill of it ripped through him, he felt it all, felt her bliss and he nearly collapsed at the sensation pouring from her into the bond before his vision cleared. With a growl he gently withdrew his fingers from her still spasming body and gathered her into his arms. She shuddered in his grasp as he planted soft kisses to the top of her head and stroked her back as he lay embracing her. “Ben.” she struggled. “What is it Rey?” “I want..I thought we would…you know.” “Not this time. You’ve been through a lot tonight. Let your body rest. I wanted to focus only on giving you pleasure that wouldn’t hurt you. Because when we finally do..you’re so small. There’s some pain the first time, no matter how gentle I will be. You’ve been through enough of that tonight.” She sighed and nodded against him, he knew she could see the logic in his words, the truth. _Thank you_ , she sent to his mind. _Thank you_ , he replied silently back, _for finally asking me_. Together they fell asleep in a warm snarl of bedding and bliss, deeply and dreamlessly, locked in the tangle of one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here we are folks! Finally these two get hot and heavy. Finally Rey stops running from herself! This is my first smut scene I've ever written and I'd love any feedback or advice you'd like to share. I don't plan for them to seal their burning hunka hunka burning love for one another any time soon either, I want to drag this out. Because I love torturing myself. XD 
> 
> As far as Rey facing the darkness within herself, that was a scene that hurt me to write. But I had to ask myself, if I were Rey, what would absolutely destroy me to hear/face? What am I denying in myself? I hope that you enjoyed this chapter dear readers. Stay tuned for chapter 11!


	11. Break The Wheel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conflict that Kylo Ren has sensed reveals itself, and a plan must be put in motion. This will be a short chapter, or at least that's how it feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI EVERYONE OMG. I'M SO SORRY MY LAPTOP BIT THE DUST AND I HAVE BEEN TRYING FOR MONTHS TO RECOVER EVERYTHING ;____; Please forgive me for the lack of update, it was out of my hands!!! Now I'm back. I was able to recover chapter 11, and now I will begin on chapter 12!

CHAPTER 11

Rey awoke on what felt like a soft cloud, blinking her eyes to adjust to the dim light of her surroundings. The warmth beside her brought it all crashing back. She was in bed with Ben on Mustafar, and they’d just-“Good morning Rey.” Ben’s voice rumbled sleepily beside her. She turned lazily onto her side to face him, stretching and flexing as she did, before recalling she was naked. She moved to cover herself but Ben, sensing her thoughts stopped her with a shake of his head. “You’re so beautiful. You’re the most beautiful woman in the galaxy to me Rey. Don’t hide yourself. Don’t be ashamed of your body.” He enfolded her in his arms, and she sighed as their bare skin made contact. He kissed her gently, slowly, on her lips. 

“How do you feel today? Are you in any pain?” he asked, pulling back to assess her. “I seem to feel okay. Nothing hurts at least.” she answered, gingerly flexing her feet to test for any residual pain. “Good.” he murmured. “We should have just enough time for a bath.” “We?” “We.” Rey felt the now familiar tug of desire in her stomach at his words. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you’ve been planning this all along.” Ben smirked. “Not planned, but it certainly would be a shame to waste the opportunity.” 

He leaned in to kiss her once more but a knock froze them in place. D4 called through the door: “Master Ren, Lady Rey, your presence is requested by Master Odain Ren and Salander Ren in the council room.” Kylo groaned. “I apologize, but they insist that it is urgent.” D4 sounded not even _remotely_ apologetic. Rey let out a giggle. “We can always take a bath later.” “Mm. Later then.” He sighed with regret. They took quick showers and dressed with haste. Within the hour they were in the council room seated with Salander and Odain Ren. The knights were not wearing their helmets, and could not have anything good to say, if Rey was going by the looks on their faces. Grim. That was the word she was looking for. Their faces looked grim. She sipped gingerly on the caf that D4 had served them.

“Master.” “Speak.” Ben grated out. Odain Ren cleared his throat. “Master, as you know, we have our own network of spies. Last night I received a disturbing report from my spies onboard the main ship. It would appear Hux has not only located the resistance, but also captured many of them.” he paused, and Rey felt the bond go taut with Ben’s emotion. “Including..General Organa.” “NO!” Rey could not help the cry that erupted from her chest. Three sets of eyes flew to her face. Darkness roared through her. She would destroy Hux. For every bit of harm he brought to those she cared for, she would revisit it upon him ten fold. He would- “Rey.” Ben’s voice brought her out of her thoughts. She was standing. She hadn’t even remembered doing so. She flushed and sat down silently, unable to meet anyone’s eyes. She’d lost control in front of the Knights of Ren. Not a good look. She took a huge swallow of caf, trying to regain composure while hiding behind her mug. “As I was saying Master, Hux has taken the majority of the Resistance prisoner. Has Hux made any contact with you about this?” “No. I have not received any messages or reports since I last spoke with him aboard my personal shuttle.” “I take it you did not authorize this.” “I did not.” Ben’s voice was thick with anger. An anger Rey shared with him, the twin threads of their bond burning with a palpable rage. “D4!” Ben barked. The droid who’d been waiting just outside the council room entered. “Master Ren?” “Summon the rest of the Knights of Ren from their chambers. Immediately.”

 

Rey surveyed the seven men seated before her, while Ben spoke beside her. Their faces were hard to read, years of training wearing down emotion into unexpressive countenances. “It seems Hux has grown a pair since my absence. As you know, I gave no authorization for capturing the Resistance. My moth-..the General will be a huge prize for Hux.” Jesver Ren grinned suddenly. “Master. We know she is your mother. You don’t have to gloss it over. The million dollar question is, do you think Hux will use this as leverage over you?” Rey thought for just a second that Jesver was in danger of getting choked, as she watched Ben’s fists clench. Instead, he took a deep breath, as Rey sent a calming push through the bond. He flicked his eyes to her with a look of gratitude. Balance.

“If I may speak, unfortunately, the answer is yes.” Salander Ren replied. “My own spies have been sending me information since last night. One of them stands guard outside of General Organa’s door. According to his report, Hux knows now that it was you who killed Snoke, not Lady Rey.” “How?!” Ben slammed a fist on the table. Rey’s faced drained of color, as she recalled the conversation she shared with Leia on the Falcon, telling her how Ben had saved her. “It..it’s because of me. It’s my fault..” she whispered. “I told her what had happened in the throne room.” She felt tears begin to form behind her eyes. “But she swore to keep it a secret. Which means that if this was discovered..” Salander Ren finished for her, with a glance that almost seemed sympathetic. “It means that she was tortured for the information. My spy confirmed this as well.” 

Ben stood up, radiating fury, hurling his mug of caf against the window, shattering it into pieces. None of the knights flinched. Rey was certain this was not the first time they'd seen his anger explode. “I am going to kill that man.” the quietness of his voice only served to make his rage more ominous to Rey. Yet the darkness within her hissed in agreement with his words. “Master this is the exact reaction Hux wants you to have. The moment you dare to intercede or free the prisoners, he plans to overthrow you as a traitor to the First Order, and execute you, no doubt after making you watch General Organa die.” 

Ben sat down heavily in his chair. Rey’s head spun. What could they do? She had to save her friends. Save Leia. She exhaled shakily. Suddenly, a thought came to her. “When you said ‘most’ of the Resistance was captured, does this imply that some of them escaped, or that the rest were killed?” Odain Ren cleared his throat. “Escaped. No fatalities were confirmed.” “Do we have a list of the members who escaped?” she asked. “As it so happens, we do my lady. A very small one, but Hux has plastered their faces up for all the galaxy to see. Hux is a completionist at heart, so it only makes sense he’d want to bring the rest of the rebellion in alive-to execute them en masse in a public show of force.” 

“Show me the list.” she demanded impatiently. Odain Ren brought out a holo pad and transmitted a projection to the center of the table. The faces of those she called friends beamed before her. “FN-2187, commonly known as Finn.” Odain swiped. “Commander Poe Dameron, resistance pilot.” Swipe. “Chewbacca. No last name known.” Swipe. “Lieutenant Kaydel Co Connix. In command of Resistance operations control.” The holo projection winked out. Rey noticed one face was missing. Rose. The young woman who Finn had seemed so protective of that had injured herself severely to save him on Crait. Her heart twinged in sadness for him. Under the table, Ben squeezed her leg, as if to comfort her. 

“Master.” She spoke to Ben. The single word was laden with everything she tried to say with her eyes. “You may speak freely. I ask that you defer to Lady Rey as you would me, my knights.” They assented with nods of their head. Rey rose, bolstered by this show of faith. “I know that I am not one of you. By the galaxy’s standards we should all be mortal enemies. The Jedi and the Sith have warred with one another for centuries. And so the wheel has turned on and on, with no true victory or balance.” Rey leaned forward intently, placing her palms on the smooth table top, looking each of the knights in the eyes. “I am going to break the wheel. With the Supreme Leader, your Master, we will bring balance to the force. He is my equal in the dark, as I am his in the Light. We are fated to set the universe to rights, together.” 

She glanced over at Ben who watched her with a proud expression before turning her gaze back to them. “I do not ask you to forsake the dark. I will not ask you to go wholly to the light. The refusal to balance the two was the failure of the Jedi, and the Sith. I am both Light and Dark. I will use both. And I will do anything to keep those who I care for safe. Anything.” She gave another pointed look at Ben, which she felt the Knights recognize as her gesture of including their master on her list of ‘safe’. “I have a plan, but I will need your help. I will require you to assist those you have considered to be an enemy. I will ask you to follow me, and I will ask you to do things that may not be in your nature. But I ask in the name of putting an end to this blood shed. To finally bringing about a lasting, true and balanced peace, with our Master at the forefront. Will you trust me?” She gave each of the knights another long, searching gaze.

“My lady, I am at your command.” Odain spoke first, with a wide smile. “As am I, Lady Rey.” Salander seconded. Cyrus, Artan, Petra, Nasham, and Jesver also spoke their agreement. “Master. I thought you said she was in need of our protection? I’m not so sure.” chuckled Cyrus Ren. “Lady Rey, I sense that you have a plan to be set in motion for your..friends. The ones who escaped.” Nasham Ren spoke softly, but his words commanded her attention. “Yes, I do Nasham. If I know them, I know they’ll be in touch with Maz Kanata. I assume I don’t need to remind you what planet she is on?” A feeling of discomfort emanated from the group as she mentioned Takadona. She could only hope this wouldn’t go haywire. 

“I suggest that a few of us go to Takadona to speak with Maz on their whereabouts, the others back aboard the flagship to observe Hux’s activities and suss out the loyalties of each faction. It is important that we gather any and all who are loyal to the Supreme Leader to our side-“ She broke off, flushing, suddenly aware that she was speaking like she owned the room and everyone in it. “Forgive me. I got carried away.” Ben shook his head. “No. Your plans have merit. Please continue.” Rey shot him a brilliant smile. “I didn’t have much more to add, but I’ll finish with this. We need to find out anything we can that can be used against Hux. I don’t know first hand, but I gather he’s not a well liked figure among the Storm Troopers. My friend Finn has told me as much. So perhaps we could start there. Assess the loyalties of the Storm Troopers, see who they would side with. Salander Ren, you told me that you have a spy on guard duty outside General Organa’s door. I take it he is a Storm Trooper?” “Correct, Lady Rey.” “Tell him to get a general idea of the Storm Trooper’s attitude towards the idea of life without General Hux. Tell him to tell The General we are coming for her. To..not lose hope. Also to continue reporting in with updates on her well being. I would ask that those reports be given to our Master and myself as soon as they come in.” The knight bowed his head in assent. “It will be as you say, my lady.” “Thank you. All of you. Master?” She ended with a question to open the discussion back to Ben. _“I could not be more proud of you Rey._ he sent to her silently across the bond. _You’re a natural at leading. We’re going to save them. All of them._ Rey’s heart swelled with love. Love she knew he could feel, and returned, silently, through blazing gold threads between them.

 

Ben cleared his thoughts before addressing the knights once more. “I suggest we prepare to leave immediately for our respective destinations. Salander, Nasham, Jesver and Cyrus, you will accompany myself and the Lady Rey to Takadona. Odain Ren, to you I give the responsibility of returning to the flagship with Artan and Petra Ren. Assess current loyalties with the high command and keep your eyes on that bastard.” he spat. “I expect regular reports from you. If Hux should decide to try to execute my mother before we can rescue her, get her out. At any cost. You are my first, and I am placing my trust in you. Do not fail me.” Odain Ren bowed solemnly. “As you say, Master. I will not fail.” 

Kylo let out a breath he did not know he was holding. “Once we find the missing resistance members, the rest of you will regroup with me on Naboo. Dismissed.” Seven hands flew to seven hearts in response, before the knights rose and filed out. Odain Ren lingered at the door. “Lady Rey, may I speak with you for a moment?” Rey looked to Ben, who nodded. “Go on. You don’t need my permission.” A ghost of a smile came to his lips as he spoke. Rey rose and went to the hallway, putting her head close to Odain’s as he spoke quietly. Ben could have easily listened in using the force but chose to give them privacy. He was pleased to see that Rey was trying to see the Knights as more than her fears, but the disaster at hand was at the front of his mind far more than anything else. 

He considered how to play this off. Hux certainly would be expecting his return soon. He wondered how long the ginger weasel would wait before telling the Galaxy that it was Kylo Ren who murdered Snoke. However, there might be an angle for Ben to maneuver the general into a false sense of security. He’d have to play Hux’s game, for now. But soon he would crush the usurper, and make him pay for all the misery he’d inflicted on the galaxy. At the very least, he would die for the lives he stole from the citizens of Hosnian Prime. He strode out into the hall, to catch Odain Ren still conversing with Rey. They both shot him a glance. Odain Ren patted her shoulder in a way that seemed almost fatherly to Ben, still speaking softly. Rey nodded in reply at whatever he’d said, smiling gently at him. He left her with a bow, and another one for Ben before heading off to prepare for the mission at hand. Rey walked back to Kylo and they strode to the apartments.

“What was that about?” he asked idly, still distracted. “I’d tell you but I get the feeling you’d just roll your eyes again.” she replied half heartedly. Under other circumstances he’d appreciate the teasing for what it was, but they both knew the seriousness of the situation at hand. “Ben, this is the conflict you saw coming, isn’t it?” she asked, turning her wide hazel eyes up to him. “We have to save them. I cannot allow for any other option. I won’t.” her voice shook with quiet anger. He took her in his arms, trying to comfort her as he gathered strength from the contact between them. “We will save them. Together Rey.” She mumbled in agreement against his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's been some time since I started this story. I know things seemed to be heating up between our two favorite space nerds, but there is a battle to be fought, if not a war. I apologize for the lack of updates, again. Now that I have a laptop once more I can continue to pour my heart into this. Thank you for sticking it out this far with me.


	12. The Hound Of War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is entirely from Leia's POV, and reveals what that slimy ginger weasel Hux is up to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt it was important to get at least one more chapter out to you guys. I had no idea at first how to bring about setting up the plot. (Plot, what plot? Haha!) But I felt as if a chapter from Leia's point of view would give some weight to the situation.

Leia sat in a narrow cell, cradling Rose Tico’s head in her lap as the girl quietly wept. Rose had not fully recovered from her injuries from the Battle of Crait, so the torture tactics used by the First Order had been especially brutal on her. She could barely stand, much less walk. When the storm troopers brought Rose back from the latest round of interrogations, they had to carry her in. It surprised her how gently they had laid someone who was branded an enemy on the cot. As they left she swore one of the troopers gave her a meaningful glance, as if to say _I’m sorry_. She shook her head. 

They’d been in captivity for nearly 48 hours, and had been tortured through most of it. She made soothing sounds as she gently wiped the blood from Rose’s lip away with a sleeve. “Leia.” Rose coughed. “Don’t try to talk, Rose, please.” Rose shook her head. “If I don’t make it through this..please tell Finn that he has to keep living. I don’t want him to throw his life away.” She shook as she coughed harder. This time blood escaped from the corner of her mouth. “Please…” Rose begged. “I promise Rose. But you must promise me that you will not die here. That is not your fate. You must not give up on hope. Please try to hold on.”

Rose did not respond, she’d already passed out, most likely due to the pain. Leia gently slid Rose’s head out of her lap onto the cot and covered her with a thin blanket. She had absently found herself surprised at the accommodations given to her as a prisoner of the First Order. There were two narrow cots and a toilet. They were given meals and water. She wasn’t sure what she’d expected when they’d put her and Rose in the cell together, perhaps just a dank room with no furniture and hard floors. The floors at least were true to expectation. 

Leia moved to the other cot and sat down with a sigh. Hux hadn’t been nearly as hard on her as he was with the captured members of the Resistance. She knew this because he made her watch them being tortured on a holopad. He was a cruel man. When she’d tried to mind trick him into releasing her, it didn’t work. Instead he executed a member of the Resistance in front of her as punishment, to ensure she would not attempt any more _force trickery_ , as he’d put it. Still, the torture she’d been put through was excruciating in its own right. 

She’d been forced to give up her secrets under his questioning. When he discovered that Snoke had been killed by Ben instead of Rey, a pang of dread ran through her stomach as she watched the gleam of victory come to his eyes. She knew then, that the General had been searching for something to use against her son. And she had given him what he needed. She slumped forward, feeling her age down to her bones, wishing for Luke and Han. At this point the idea of a rescue seemed impossible. The galaxy was still reeling from the destruction of Hosnian Prime. And, she mused grimly, if no one had come to their aid during the battle on Crait, she doubted that anyone would help them now. 

The cell door slid open. Leia straightened and adopted a neutral expression. She would give her captors no satisfaction or sign that their tactics were working on her. She expected to see Hux, but it was a storm trooper. “Yes?” The trooper said nothing but instead, removed their helmet. A man with sandy brown hair and green eyes stared down at her. “What’s the meaning of this soldier?” she enquired sternly. “General Organa. I’m a friend.” She stared at him blankly. “My name is TK-3599. I am a spy for one of the Knights of Ren. I believe you know of them.” Leia nodded. “I don’t have much time, I’m supposed to escort you to the bridge to General Hux. But you should know that your son, and the Jedi, Rey are coming for you, along with the Knights of Ren.” Leia glared at him. “This isn’t a trick. I swear.” 

Leia used her mind to sense the trooper’s intentions and could discern no trickery. “How long?” she asked. “I’m not sure. Here. Give these to your friend. It will help stop the worst of the internal bleeding. But you have to hurry.” TK-3599 handed her some pills. Leia quickly took them and roused Rose to help her swallow the medicine before shushing her back to sleep. She turned and stared at the storm trooper. “Thank you.” TK-3599 shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. Ever since FN-2187 defected, many of us have found ourselves wondering for the first time what we are doing with our lives. If we’re on the right side. Everyone is waiting to see what the Supreme Leader will do. Most of us secretly hope he’ll be getting rid of Hux.” He put his helmet back on. “We have to go now General.” Leia nodded and steeled herself for the next round of pain as she followed the trooper to the bridge.

General Hux waited on the bridge of the ship, with his back turned to Leia. Rigid posture and a sense of smug righteousness practically radiated from him. And underneath it, cruelty. At the sound of approaching footsteps he turned. His smile was greasy and vile. Leia was reminded too much of Grand Moff Tarkin. She schooled her face into a neutral expression and waited for him to speak. It didn’t take long. “Ahh General Organa. So _good_ of you to join me. I have something to discuss with you. Walk with me if you will.” Hux did not wait to see if she would take his invitation but set off down the bridge.

“You know, I must say I was quite shocked to learn that your son had the nerve to kill Supreme Leader Snoke. He was his dog and errand boy faithfully for many years. But traitor’s blood will out, I suppose.” he sniffed dismissively. Leia said nothing in reply. She sensed that he was merely prattling to hear the sound of his own voice, rather than to insult her. “I didn’t bring you here to chat about pleasantries however I’m afraid. Well, this will be pleasant for _me_. But not for you, I fear.” They walked into the corridor, with TK-3599 following behind. “You see General, while you have been a worthy adversary first to the Empire and now the First Order, you are a traitor. And traitorous scum must be held accountable for their actions, don’t you agree?” he preened, as he opened a door.

Leia stepped through to a large holding cell. Every single member of the Resistance who was captured was manacled to the wall aside from Rose, who’d been placed with her. Many of them were clearly injured, some slumped unconscious. A squadron of riot control troopers stood guard, each armed with blaster rifles. The room was cold, and dark. She saw no evidence of food or water. “What is this about General Hux?” she said coldly as she turned furious eyes on him. “This, General Organa, is about setting a trap for your son, and the Jedi whore who has clearly caused him to turn on the First Order. He does not know yet that I have you, nor that I know he killed Snoke.” Leia blanked her face immediately. Hux was a fool. Inside she smiled, knowing that Ben and Rey were two steps ahead of this greasy weasel of a man. 

“I’m not sure you know Kylo Ren as well as you think.” Leia said flatly. “In case you hadn’t noticed, there is no love lost between us.” “Ahhhh that may be what you think, and that may be what he tells himself General Organa. But your son is weak. He has never relinquished his ties to your traitorous blood. I will use you, as leverage. The rest of these rebel scum are nothing but fodder to me, but you, you are the key that will give me Ren.” His eyes glinted with a manic light as he gestured grandiosely. “You see, when Kylo Ren returns, I’ll be sure to make a spectacle of your capture. I will. I will force the “Supreme Leader” into executing you publicly. But not before you watch your crew die. It will all be televised you see, as will the announcement prior to your extermination-all across the galaxy!” he exclaimed. 

“This will achieve two things. I have no doubt that where ever the Jedi whore is hiding, she’ll be drawn out to save you all. How noble.” He scoffed. “The other and most important, will be that your son will fail to follow through with your execution. It is then that I will reveal to the entire galaxy, that your son was the murderer of the true Supreme Leader! After he has confessed publicly, I will make him watch you die, before his worthless body joins yours in the vacuum of space.”Leia pursed her lips. “That’s all well and good General.” she said nonchalantly. “But how do you plan to get around the fact that Kylo Ren is one of the most powerful force users in the galaxy? Do you think he’ll just meekly submit to you? Or the Last Jedi for that matter? Good heavens I thought you were intelligent. I thought you would know my son well enough after spending years with him to come up with a better plan than that.” 

Her ears rang and her eyes swam at the force of the blow Hux delivered with back of his hand. “Did you think that I would not remember that? Suffice it to say General, that the First Order has taken into account the powers your son and that scavenger wield. There are many ways to subdue a force user, and I have the resources of the entire galaxy at my disposal.” he raged into her ear. The warm hot breath of this rabid dog against her skin made her squirm internally. _I must be strong_ , she thought. “Enjoy your final hours on this ship General Organa. I assure you they are very numbered.” With that he turned to TK-3599. “Return this traitor to her cell!” He strode off with a baleful glare for her before composing his face into his usual sneer. TK-3599 placed an arm on her shoulder. “Move it.” came the static voice of the trooper. Leia held her head up high, trying to be the beacon of hope her people so desperately needed as they watched her exit the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. As always, kudos and comments are more than welcome. <3


	13. Tactical Manuevering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben lays down the beginnings of the trap for Hux, and has a heart to heart with Salander Ren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is entirely from Ben's POV. When I first wrote the beginning of this story I was incredibly excited and in a rush to churn out chapters. Now I find myself a little more concerned with the pacing. I want to draw this out as looong as possible. I really liked the idea of showing the dynamic between himself and the knights of Ren, to humanize them a bit more. I also wanted to give Hux a little more fleshing out, if only to add to the loathing for his character in general-no pun intended TwT.

Ben was brooding. His shuttle was devoid of Rey. They’d been in flight for two hours after seperation and he already felt grumpy. He’d argued with her but in the end gave in to her request to reclaim the Falcon on Ach-To. “I’ll meet you on Takadona. Please, I can’t leave the Falcon behind. Besides, we might need a back up ship.” He’d huffed but saw the logic in her words. After days of growing accustomed to having her at his side, even one sleep cycle apart from her felt unbearable. The good natured jabbing he’d received from some of his Knights about her hadn’t helped anything either after he'd dropped her back on the island, staring as she piloted that hunk of junk out of the atmosphere. No matter what they said, he did _not_ sulk! A familiar presence brought him out of his thoughts, as did the smell of Caf. “Master.” Salander Ren took a seat in the co pilot’s chair and passed him a steaming mug. “Salander.” he replied with a nod of thanks. 

“She will be fine Master. I have sensed her powers. She is strong.” Salander Ren sipped his Caf pensively before continuing. “Besides, you said she grew up on Jakku. One doesn’t make it to her age on such a planet by being weak.” Ben hmmed in agreement as he sipped the hot liquid. He set the mug carefully on his lap, chewing on Salander’s words. It’s not as if she’d be beset by bloodthirsty creatures. If anything, he mused, she’d probably come back with an entire ship of those stupid fluffy Porgs. Groaning inwardly at her soft heart, he pinched the bridge of his nose before turning in his seat to address his knight.

“Is there any news on..General Organa?” Salander Ren nodded solemnly. “My spy, TK-3599 has made contact with her. She is now aware that help is coming for her.” Ben chewed his lip. “How..how is her condition? Is she injured?” The knight hesitated. “It would seem that for now, the torture has stopped. Probably due to Hux getting the information he felt he needed. Her physical injuries seem to be less significant than other members of her Resistance have been given under torture. She will heal, given time.” Ben chewed that over for a moment. He knew Salander was being delicate to avoid his famous explosions of temper. However he sensed there was more. “What else is are you not telling me?” Salander Ren smiled. His master was after all, adept at sensing the hidden. “Her cell mate, Rose Tico. The girl is not likely to live if we do not reach her in time. TK-3599 was able to give some aid to her, but her injuries are grave.” Ben considered this information for a moment before nodding. Time was of the essence.

He sighed and reached for his holopad. It was time. Time to set the plan in motion. Time to lay a trap for Hux. He turned to stare at Salander. “Remain silent. I’m making contact with the First Order.” Salander nodded. Ben punched in Hux’s com code and waited. Soon enough Hux appeared before him, projected. Ben clinched a fist, but remained stone faced. “General Hux. Report.” he said brusquely. The projection of Hux smiled triumphantly. “Supreme Leader. I apologize for not contacting you sooner. There have been developments. You see, nearly the entire resistance has been captured. Including General Organa.” 

Ben betrayed no emotion, he knew Hux was waiting for any sign of an outburst. “I must say, you have surprised me Hux. Well done.” The shock on Hux’s face at his praise was exactly the reaction Ben hoped for. He continued. “This is a massive victory for the First Order. I did not authorize this operation, but I will enlighten you to my purpose in leaving, as it coincides with this news.” Hux was positively gawking at this point. “I have had leads on the whereabout of the girl. The _scavenger_.” Ben forced as much contempt into his voice as he could summon. “If I can succeed in her capture, we truly will have a massive victory to celebrate. And you, General, will be given a new rank.”

Hux stood slack jawed at Ben’s words. But then his demeanor resettled as he saluted and stood at attention. “No doubt, Supreme Leader, you will want to return soon, to oversee the executions? I’ve decided to televise this. To let the entire galaxy see that the First Order is the might and power that they so desperately need to bring order. I think it would be fitting to cement your status as the new Supreme Leader if you were the one to execute General Organa. Then no one could question your rule, hmm?” Ben sat back in his chair as if considering Hux’s words before replying. “So be it. The only thing that matters is this debacle is brought to an end. In the meantime, to ensure your safety, and to suppress any rescue attempts from those pathetic rebels..I will send a contingent of the Knights back aboard.” 

Hux began to protest. “They will not impede or interfere with your plans Hux. They are a safe guard, nothing more.” Hux grimaced but nodded. “As you say, Supreme Leader. I will begin preparations for the executions.” Ben leaned forward menacingly. “One last thing before I dismiss you, Hux. I expect every member of the resistance to be alive for their execution when I return-especially Leia Organa. I will be displeased if she dies by another’s hand. You will face execution and disgrace instead of a promotion if you steal this moment from me. Do I make myself clear?” His voice was low, and dangerous. The sincerity of his threat must have carried enough to shake Hux into nodding vigorously. “Good. Dismissed.” he said, and ended the com link abruptly. Ben let out a shaky sigh. He hoped this would buy them enough time. He hoped he had convinced Hux that nothing was amiss. It was a gamble on Hux’s thirst for power and recognition, to throw him off with the promise of rank and honor.

He turned to Salander Ren. “The day I crush the last vestiges of life from that man will be the best day of my entire existence. I only regret he wasn’t in the throne room with Snoke on the day I killed him. It would have saved me so much trouble.” He pinched the bridge of his nose again, before stopping himself. His knight spoke carefully, considering his words. “Master, I think we can safely say that the lure of more prestige will keep him from taking any further action. He is blinded by his need for power and recognition to the point he didn’t even question the veracity of your story. He may be skeptical, but we have him. He has taken the bait. In the meantime I will be in communication with TK-3599 about the rebels and your mot-General Organa.” Ben sighed. “No. It’s alright. She is my mother. I will not punish you for speaking the truth, however unpleasant it may be.” Salander Ren nodded. “Master..” he trailed off. “Speak.” “Master. There is no shame in considering a reconciliation. We had no stake in this war, we followed you because you took up for us at the temple. We were not alone in our struggles on our path to the dark. I feel emboldened to say, perhaps after Hux is dead, we may all reconsider our lives, and reconciliations.”

Ben gave Salander a considering stare. “Is there someone..?” The knight nodded almost imperceptibly. “I have a sister. I didn’t know about it until recently. After the war is over, I may consider approaching her.” “Does she know about you?” Salander Ren smiled balefully. “No. Not yet.” Ben felt the need to do…something. To give his knight the assurance he sought. He gently laid a hand on Salander’s shoulder. “Perhaps, after the war we can all have a clean start with our families. Or start a new one. But you are always a part of this group.” The knight stared at Ben as if he had grown a second head. “She has changed you, Master.” Ben nodded. “I know.” He removed his hand. “Leave me, please.” Salander bowed and left Ben to stare out the window of the cockpit, reaching out through the bond to Rey. He sought the golden threads of the bond and felt the answering surge of light, of warmth..and could it be? Love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that there is a glaring tag that reads "angry kylo ren" in the description section. Where is his anger? Well don't worry, our angsty space boi will be raging soon enough. Thank you and I hope you enjoy this latest update.


	14. Trust Issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is entirely from Rey's POV, as she reconnects with her friends on Takadona. Tensions are high, and one hot headed pilot is especially in his feelings over the plan. I padded it here and there with some fluff, because, there is never a bad time for fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I really enjoyed writing this chapter though it is a bit shorter than some of my others. I especially love Maz so I took a lot of pleasure in including her in this edition. Maz reminds me of the alien grandmother everyone would have wanted. Ok, perhaps it's just me, but still. I love Maz!

On the Falcon Rey prepared to enter the atmosphere of Takadona. Memories of the last time she’d been here threatened to overwhelm her. Of Han. She found herself glad to be alone, even if she did miss Ben’s presence. He would no doubt pick up on her thoughts. She piloted the shuttle to the edge of the tree line bordering Maz Kanata’s cantina. She did not want to alert any First Order spies to her presence. In spite of the heat she donned a hooded black cloak, the hood fell far enough to conceal her features. Her hand flew to her light saber for reassurance before setting off in the direction of the cantina, and hopefully, her friends.

Surprisingly, the cantina had been rebuilt, if not quite to it’s former glory. Rubble still lay strewn haphazardly about, reminders of the battle that had let to her fateful meeting with Ben. As she entered the cantina she scanned the dimly lit bar for Maz. It was hard to discern the shadowy figures at tables in corners, but Maz at least would be easily distinguished by her lack of height. She went to the bar and sat. “Hello my dear.” said a voice behind her. Whirling, she saw Maz standing before her. “I knew it was you. I felt your presence.” Maz spoke quietly. “In a moment, I want you to follow me to the back. Down to the basement. You remember the way.” Rey nodded silently. “Good. I’ll go and tell the others.” 

Rey took a deep breath to center herself. _The others_ , she mused. Her hunch had paid off. Her friends were here, or some of them at least. How was she going to explain this? How could she get them to trust her? She exhaled. This would be the most difficult conversation of her life. She prayed to the Force that her friends would be willing to hear her out. She squared herself and exited the bar to the basement. Maz waited in the hallway at the door to a storage room. “Maz..” she trailed off. “Maz I’d like for you to join me. What I’m about to say concerns you as well.” Maz agreed with another nod and opened the door, stepping in ahead of her. Rey followed, her eyes adjusting to the dim light. “Maz?” A familiar voice called out. “It’s alright everyone. I’ve brought you a little surprise.” Maz gestured to Rey, who pulled down her hood.

“REY!” Finn yelped and scooped her into a bear hug. Rey hugged him back tightly. Poe, Chewbacca, Kaydel crowded around them, and Rey’s heart swelled with happiness. She knew now, this was what it was like to be missed. To have friends. Finn set her down gently. “How did you find us? When did you-“ Rey raised her hands. “I will explain everything. But I have something important to tell you. There’s not much time, so please listen.” Finn nodded as she took a deep breath. “Ben Solo..most of you know him as Kylo Ren, is coming. He’s coming with the Knights of Ren to lead a rescue mission with me to save his mother. General Organa.” Almost immediately multiple voices erupted in a cacophony. “HIS MOTHER?!” “KYLO REN?!” “REY ARE YOU CRAZY?!” Rey held her hands up and Maz shushed them. “Please continue child.” Poe opened his mouth but Maz held a finger up, managing to look imposing in spite of her lack of height. “Not another word Dameron! Not until she’s done speaking!”

Rey tried as best she could to explain the events that led them to where she was today, and the Force bond that she shared with Ben. She weighed each of their faces. Maz looked the least kerfluffled, all things considered. The First Order had wrecked her bar after all. Finn scowled, but he seemed to be considering everything she was saying. Kaydel nodded, a neutral expression on her face as she listened. She wasn’t a position of command for nothing after all. She was listening not just to Rey's words but for the meaning behind them, the implications and potential impacts to the Resistance. Poe, she sensed, would be the hardest sell of all. His face was cold, disappointed. When she finished, he loomed over her with a sneer. “So you expect us to trust Kylo Ren? How do you know he’s not playing you?” Rey placed a hand to her chest. “The bond.” she said simply. There is no hiding our intentions or emotions from one another. And before you get any ideas about punching him, it’s more than just a connection. What happens to him, will happen to me. If one of us dies, the other will too.”

Poe scoffed. “I see you’ve learned how to read other people’s minds. Fine. He deserves it and more though.” Finn however seemed to want to try to understand. “So..if you’re hurt, he feels the injury?” Rey nodded solemnly. “Which means if he’s hurt….” “That means we can’t execute him for crimes against the galaxy, much less punch him.” Poe ground out. “How can we let him go without some sort of punishment after all he’s done?!” Rey placed a hand on Poe’s shoulder. He stared at it, almost as if considering shrugging it off. Rey could sense his emotions, he felt betrayed, angry and unsure. “Poe.” she said softly, drawing his eyes back to her. “I cannot answer for Ben’s crimes. He will answer for himself. Right now, all that matters is that he has found the path back to the light, and wants to save his mother. Leia. He wants to help save us all.” Finn laid a hand on Poe’s shoulder. “I don’t understand any of this either Poe. It doesn’t make up for what he’s done. But I think..I think there is light in him.”

“How can you say that?!” Poe raged. “HE TORTURED ME.” Finn stepped up to Poe, his chin thrust out. “He tried to _kill_ me! I haven’t forgotten!” The two men glared at one another. “But I also haven’t forgotten the night he saw me disobey orders, he saw me refuse to fight _and he didn’t report me_ for it. Do you understand I could have been executed for non compliance?! If he hadn’t chosen to overlook my treason, I wouldn’t have been there to rescue your hot headed stubborn ass!” The two men were breathing heavily, glaring at one another. Rey took the pause between them to step in and gently push them apart. “Please Poe, if you cannot trust him, can you at least trust me? Do you think I would ever hurt you, or knowingly lead you into harm’s way?” Poe stared at her for a long moment. “No. You are a Jedi, through and through. I know you wouldn’t…” he trailed off, scrubbing fingers through his curls in frustration. “I’m trusting you. For Leia’s sake.” Rey let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding.

“We’re with you Rey.” Kaydel said, softly. Chewie who’d been silent let out a low growl of agreement in Shriwook. Rey stared at Finn. “You already know I’d follow you anywhere. Even a sand box.” Rey chuckled. “Well, now that that’s settled, let’s all play nice children? I don’t want my bar smashed a second time!” Maz sternly chided. “Rey. I’d like to speak to you for a moment. Alone please.” she gestured for Rey to follow her out the door. They stood in the hallway, while Maz searched her face with eyes that seemed to peer far too deep into Rey’s soul. She smiled. “Oh my child.” she began. “I think you have finally found your belonging. With Ben Solo.” She took Rey’s hand in hers. “It was always Leia Organa’s hope that her son would come home. This perhaps, is not the homecoming she envisioned, but it is still a homecoming. I could not be more proud of you.You have found yourself in the Force, you are becoming balanced.” Rey’s eyes stung with tears as she pulled Maz into a gentle hug. “Thank you. Thank you for trusting me.” she breathed. 

Maz pulled away from the embrace, still smiling. “Now. I’d better see about making arrangements. If the Supreme Leader is showing up with his knights, I’ve got to pull out extra beds for everyone.” She sighed ponderously. “Perhaps I should have been a hotel instead.” Rey felt a pang of guilt. “I can help!” Maz chuckled and shrugged her off. “Oh no, that won’t be necessary. Not when I’ve got Chewie.” She sighed happily, a far away look swam in her large eyes. “He is such a handsome one.” Rey giggled. Then her laughter died in her throat. “Maz. Chewie hasn’t seen Ben since…” Maz gave her a solemn glance. “I know child. But he will abide by my rules as long as he is under my roof. I will turn him into a carpet if he dares stick a paw out of line!” Rey did not doubt her for a moment, as the tone of her voice implied she was more than capable of the deed. Suddenly, the bond snapped to life. *Rey.* his voice echoed low and deep in her mind. She smiled. Maz looked at her questioningly. “He’s here, Maz. Ben is here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now the scene is set for a whooooole lot of awkward in the next chapter. In my mind I envision two gangs of feral cats yowling and staring suspiciously at one another with occasional hissing haha! Stay tuned, thank you for the comments and kudos! I take no offense at criticism, this IS my first fic after all, so anything that helps me become a better writer is always welcome.


	15. Negotiations: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've split this chapter in to two parts, both of which will be from Ben's pov. Rey and Ben are reunited, but there's no time for love, when there's a rescue to plan! Can he win over the remaining rebels? Will his knights EVER stop teasing him about Rey? What does the future hold for them all, should they succeed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, back again with another chapter! I really needed to split this up because I have plans for our moody space boy. Tense, uncomfortable, somewhat heart crushing plans.

Ben strode down the gangplank of the Upsilon cruiser, flanked by Salander, Jesver, Nasham and Cyrus Ren. None of them wore their helmets, at his urging. He didn’t want to start an unnecessary panic. It was amusing to him in a small way that he could pass easily among these people, and they would have no idea that he was the Supreme Leader. Behind him, Cyrus Ren swatted at a bug that tried to bite him. “Can’t go a single day without an attack. Even from the wildlife.” He wiped his palm on his cloak, grinning. Ben shot him a glance, smirking. “Perhaps if you were more alert you wouldn’t be so susceptible.” The brown haired man let out a chortle. “Careful Master, now you’re making jokes! What will you do next?!” he ribbed him in good nature. But it brought a thought to the front of Ben’s mind. He held up a fist, signaling them to halt.

“It occurs to me that you can’t call me Kylo Ren while we’re here, if we’re to avoid the First Order picking up on our activities.” he addressed them quietly. “My name isn’t exactly common.” Cyrus guffawed quietly before straightening to attention at the stare directed his way. “While we’re here amongst civilians, do not call me Master or Kylo Ren. There can be no slip up to give ourselves away.” Jesver Ren turned curious dark eyes on him. “What do we call you then?” Ben grimaced. “My birth name.” If the air had been still on Takadona before they landed, it was an absolute vacuum of oxygen now. Nasham Ren whistled through his teeth. “Very well, Ben.” said Salander Ren, sounding it out strangely. None of the Knights had called him that in many years. Ben grimaced. “I trust I don’t need to remind you to not use my father’s last name?” He stared at all of them. The name Solo was just as ear catching as his chosen name after he fell to the dark. He lowered his fist, signaling them to continue.

“Ma-uh Ben.” Cyrus Ren called behind him. “Yes, Cyrus?” “It just occurred to me that _perhaps_ we shouldn’t be walking like a group of militants following a leader.” He caught up to the taller man’s long strides. “We ought to be passable as a group of companions, not a troupe of bloodthirsty soldiers.” Cyrus grinned. “Cyrus is right. This..should look more natural than it does.” came Nasham’s voice closer behind him than before. Ben scowled. Salander Ren came up to his left side, almost as tall as Ben in height, but slender of frame. His straight blonde hair was slicked back into a bun. “Do you remember at the temple, when the six of us all got drunk together and you found us? And you had to carry us one on each arm to the dorm to avoid getting caught?” Ben did indeed recall. It was one of the moments that had solidified their loyalty to him, long ago. 

He rolled his eyes. “I’m happy to say your breath smells much better than that night.” Salander Ren’s blue eyes held mock hurt. “You wound me!” A small smile came to Ben’s lips. To his left, Cyrus threw an arm around him. Ben hesitated, almost freezing up, before continuing. _Those days are over,_ he told himself. _No one will abuse you again. No one will torture you again. Snoke is dead. Hux will be dead soon. The past will die with them._ Cyrus withdrew his arm after a moment. “Sorry Ben.” He shook his head. “It’s nothing.” He glanced at his knights. They looked much more casual now in their formation. Just a group of men headed to the bar for a drink. He felt Rey’s presence more and more through the bond as he approached, and began walking faster. Just a little faster anyway. He grimaced. If Cyrus teased him one more time about her, he was going to throw him into a pit of Banthas. 

In the dim entry way of the cantina he reached out with the Force, searching the minds of the patrons for any possible spies for the First Order. When he was satisfied that everyone seemed to be normal patrons, he walked to the bar, and was greeted by the shortest, strangest alien he’d ever seen in his life. Her eyes were large but humanoid, they seemed to stare into his soul, and he realized, she was Force sensitive. He barely had time to register this before she spoke. “You’re expected, please follow me.” Ben stared suspiciously. “Who are you?” “Maz Kanata, the owner of this bar. I’m a friend of Rey’s..and your family’s. Now please, if you would.” She gestured to the back of the bar to a door. For such a small thing, Maz was actually outpacing him! She strode briskly through the door and down to a basement hallway. She paused at a door midway down the basement hall, but before she could open it, someone did so from the other side. He knew through the bond, it would be her. “BEN!” Rey flung herself into his arms, smiling ear to ear. 

He breathed in the scent of her, the bond sighed with contentment as they held one another. This was right. This was all that mattered. She was everything. “I missed you too.” he said softly into the shell of her ear, nuzzling it slightly before she released him. He took in the sight of her, and it if was possible he could swear she’d only become more lovely in the short time they were apart. A voice hemmed, breaking him out of his reverie. “If you two children are done saying hello, why don’t we step into the room?” Maz said, not unkindly. Had he been less adept at betraying his true emotions, his face would be bright red. Rey however was blushing scarlet enough for the two of them! But still, her smile was fixed in place. He shot daggers behind him, sensing the amusement from his knights. “Not a _word_.” he spat at them, before entering the room. 

It was a rather large room, that had probably been used for storage once. Now it had been converted to a living space it seemed. Four beds, one of them larger than the other lined the wall. A table with plans and holopads stood in the center, with some questionably held together bar stools as chairs. The atmosphere was thick with tension as he searched the faces of the rebels before him. Poe Dameron, it would appear, was the least thrilled to see him. Finn was on guard, his expression hard to read. Kaydel Ko Connix was distracted, he realized. She was staring hard at his knights. At Salander Ren in particular. _Curious._ , he thought to himself. He brought his attention back to Poe. “Dameron.” he acknowledged. Beside him Rey took his hand. He squeezed it slightly, his heart full at this visible sign of her loyalty to him. “Ren.” Poe grated out. He gestured to the table. “Let’s sit.” Ben took a chair, and next to him, Rey. On his other side, Salander Ren sat. Maz broke the awkward silence. “I think I’m going to see about some more stools. You children play nice now. No breaking my furniture!”

Across from the table Ben stared at Poe, Finn, and Connix. His other knights remained leaning against the wall. He cleared his throat. “Would you..would you like to speak first, Dameron?” A gamble, he knew, as it bordered closely on their first conversation ever. For a moment he thought it was a bad move, Poe seemed ready to spring across the table, before collecting himself. “The only reason I’m speaking to you, is because of *her*.” he gestured to Rey. “Tell us the plan. I don’t want to hear about anything else from you.” Ben nodded coldly. It was only fair for him to feel that way. He had, after all, tortured the man. He’d nearly broken his mind. Ben swallowed. He could dwell on regrets later. He laid out the idea he had in his mind. “This will require your absolute cooperation. No one in this room, is a fan of Hux. I assume you know he has the entire resistance, including my mother.” Poe looked at him with murderous intent. Why did he feel like flinching under his gaze? “She _is_ my mother Poe.” he stared at the man challengingly. “But you are the son she and my father would have always wanted.” Through the bond he felt a brief echo of sadness from Rey, her thoughts betraying her as she thought of his father. He frowned. He could never make this up to her. However, it seemed these words succeeded in disarming the angry pilot, if not entirely calming him. 

“Hux plans to have me execute my mother, and then the rebels. It will be televised across the holonet, through all the worlds. He supposed, rightly, that I would not be able to do it. His plan is to reveal me as a traitor to the First Order, to out me as the murderer of Snoke. He’s banking on this being enough to overthrow me with this sad farce of a coup.” Ben sneered. “So far, he believes everything is proceeding as planned. Hux loves his plans.” he paused. “I love disrupting them.” Finn stared at him with a slight grin. It was well known how much of a control freak Hux could be, from the lowest ranks on up to the high command. “And how do you plan to go about..’disrupting’ him? About saving Leia?” Kaydel’s voice was soft but firm. “This is the part that will require the one thing we don’t have much of, on everyone’s part.” he said. “Trust.” Rey nodded. “I will be taking all of you with me, back to the flagship. Rey will pose as my prisoner, and I will tell Hux that she is to be executed alongside my mother at my hand.” The air was still, but Rey’s presence gave him the confidence to keep going before anyone could interrupt. “All of you will remain aboard my personal shuttle. My knights will bring you storm trooper armor. You will link up with Salander Ren’s spy in the storm trooper battalion. His name is TK-3599, and he will assist you in helping free the rebels who will in turn assist us when the moment comes. I have it on good authority that many of the troopers have been…inspired..by a certain someone’s recent defection.” He glanced at Finn, who smirked.

He leaned forward, capturing the three of them in his intense gaze. “When the moment comes for me to strike, I will instead release Rey’s bonds. Rey, your priority is to get my mother to safety. No. Don’t object. There will be bloodshed. Her life is the highest priority. I think everyone here can agree with that.” _And I can think of no one I trust more to keep her safe from harm._ he sent to her in his mind. Rey smiled beside him at the compliment. “Odain Ren, the first of my knights is currently aboard assessing loyalties and seeding dissension amongst the ranks, along with the other knights not here. I do not count on everyone in the high command willingly parting with the old ways. At best, perhaps a handful may want change. The storm troopers, I’m not sure, but I hope they will follow suit with Finn. I make no assumptions that we will have anyone at our backs but one another in this fight, which is what makes it so vital that we work together. That we trust one another.” Poe stared at Ben with an unreadable expression. “You know, I don’t think I’ve heard of a plan this crazy since your father’s days. But if he could sneak aboard a ship filled with enemies and rescue your mother, we can too.” At the mention of Han, Ben’s stomach lurched. This guilt wound hound him through what was left of his life. 

“And what comes after, supposing we succeed?” Kaydel asked. “You will still be Supreme Leader, what exactly will have changed?” “I don’t want to be the Supreme Leader.” He felt how the answer shocked Rey through the bond, and judging by everyone’s reactions, he’d shocked them all as well. “That is to say, this system will not work any longer. It will not be accepted by the people. We need something new, something better than the First Order. What that will be, I’m not sure, but I want my mother in on it. She is the wisest person living in the galaxy. I don’t want to be one person, a figurehead or a dictator trying to make the galaxy function alone. I have considered a coalition of people with different backgrounds, to balance and give perspective. No more factions and crime lords, no more war dogs who steal children away from their families to turn them into mindless soldiers.” He propped his elbows on the table, resting his chin on his hand. “That’s..about as far as I’ve gotten. Truthfully, all I can think about is ending this situation first. It’s almost as if the Force won’t let me see that far ahead when I try.” Kaydel regarded him with considering eyes. “Perhaps, some things aren’t meant to be known before their time, otherwise it might change the fate of what’s to come.” she said. He inclined his head to her. “Perhaps.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is where we're at. Everyone's in the same room, or mostly everyone. I'm sure you noticed there was a distinct lack of Chewbacca? Stay tuned for part two of Chapter 15. Thank you for the comments, kudos! And Manella, I wrote some of this chapter with you in mind. We're not done learning about the Knights of Ren, not by a long shot.


End file.
